When things suck the most

Of all the things i wanted to write, from curve analysis to sustainability, here i'm writing yet another sober piece. As someone who had a realization that life gets you immaterial of how much on top of it you see yourself, I've never been carried away in happiness. Gives me a look of sensibility they tell me, but more often than not I end up making a mental note to say a prayer not to 'balance' it out.

The reason i'm in this sober a mode today is that my mom called me at 12.00 am to tell me my bro fell from his bike and has a wrist fracture which needs surgery tomorrow. Its not a major one and hope to God, he will recover fast. More than the news, I got hit by the pangs of guilt for my 'busy'ness and a feeling of impotence that comes from the knowledge that you can't help how much ever u want!

I've been there before, for my grandparents, right outside emergency halls, waiting for doctors to give me some news. Answering calls of worried relatives, comforting my mom and dad that things will be alright while I myself have had to call up a few angel friends for that mental strength. But then, I was doing Something! Here, far away from home, listening to my loved ones worried, just doesn't let me carry on with my work. I read up so much on net and and found its pretty normal surgery. Still doesn't help.So much so that I'm pouring out here where I least expect to expose myself.

God, seriously forgive me for the jackass I might have been to anyone. I'm not gonna be asking for good grades or beautiful brides to be. if need be i'll work for them. For the next 2 years, all i ask is peace of mind, in the comfort of the knowledge that my loved ones are really fine, hale and healthy. a simple enough prayer i guess.

Seriously!