Of Meetings And My Scripted Life

I hate long days with meetings. I always have, even as an insignificant engineer giving updates to bored managers. I wondered if my hatred had anything to do with the fact that I could have done something more productive that time. When I shared this with my colleague in office, I couldn’t get her to stop laughing! (In my defence, Calvin & Hobbes gave perspective!!) Unfortunately a management course with added responsibilities have made me grudgingly admit that meetings are a necessary evil.

Of course my opinion on meetings was not the same always. I remember vividly my first client meeting in my first job.

Engineering Internship , evening 4.30pm

R: Girish, we’ll be having a teleconf meeting with client . You will attend?

Me: YES! [wow! Meeting, I’ve always wanted to be in a meeting. I’ll kick the crap out of the teleconference] YES! [not so eager also] I mean, sure whats there.. I think I can make some time (sheepish grin)

R: (Weird look)

Meeting

Me: [Wow! I’m in a meeting.. That guy must think I’m someone important – I mean trainee, yes, but someone who is invited to the meeting.. This is so cool.. Wait till I see the expression of L when I tell.. Must make a note not to tell all the details.. Confidentiality clause and all.. He he, big words, corporate.. I am sure the guy is gonna say there’s this awesome trainee on the other end who’s real kick ass.. He he.. Maybe he would think R is ineffective and he’d ask to have all further meeting with me.. Poor R.. Has a family too..]

R: Girish, You just put whatever we discussed in a document and mail it across to me.

Me: (Shock) Pardon? The meeting is done in 15 mins? What exactly did he want?

R: (surprised) What do you mean?! You were nodding your head all through! Trainees!!

Ever since, its been a steep learning curve that I surprisingly got it right! 2 years and I’ve always managed to nod my head at the right time always. Lessons such as these (and my preconceived idea of wanting to write about it) made me wonder if life actually is a planned out script for a series.

Come to think of it, soaps are ruled out, they can’t be the script. Soaps have characters whose morals are clearly either black or white or full of sterotypes. Real life is much more interesting when it comes to the type of people you encounter. I guess sitcoms capture them the best. Be it the weird characters you encounter, admit it -they are all around us, or the moments of sweet irony that you wait for the ‘ta-da-da-da-da-da’ in the background.

It does have its advantages in making you realize some truths that you can be prepared for

a) The equation between the people is going to keep changing. The characters might be the same, but as the ‘seasons’ go by they keep trying to fall in and out of zone of comfort.

b) People who leave make guest appearances in later seasons often causing lots of confusion. (Contrast with soaps where the dead people comeback!)

c) All your characters have shades of grey including the protagonist – you. This necessarily helps the script move forward.

d) Sometimes you forget the right words but you manage. Rehearsals rarely happen and there ain’t a chance for retakes

e) The moral conflicts of the protagonist usually lead to hilarious moments. Of course not all are laughing.

It feels warm to think things in life are actually scripted towards a happy ending. As Khaled Hosseini says in Kite Runner, is there something called a happy ending in life? Every episode, every phase just moves the story forward giving you cue cards to emote. Relish, Learn and Move on.

After that thoughtful pause, I thought I’d close with a typical incident in my scripted life.

In the Flight from Kolkata to Hyderabad which had a total of 10 passengers.

Air Hostess: Sir, would you mind sitting in the seat over the wings? It is a safety precaution.

Me: huh?? safetyyyy? hmmmm sure, I guess..

AH: Sir, I need to explain to you the emergency procedure for opening the door.. .. keep looking out the window during take off and landing for fire.. 

Me: (nodding the head all the while) Ah.. Is that what they call “flight risk”? (grin)

AH: (blank state.. walks away muttering something under her breath)

Me: [Emergency! Did she say emergency? Oh God! What if.. FIRE!?? She said fire. Wow, this is exciting and scary.. This is something I’m prepared for.. I’ve been prepared for such a situation right from UKG when the English teacher made me monitor.. I’ve just got to pull.. but what if the handle won’t drop down.. God, I should have gone to the gym more regularly.. Maybe to reduce a bit of flab too.. Hey, the plane has started taxiing.. Ok, outside the window.. hey, the metal part on the wing is moving, should I ask the air hostess to check? It seems like the wings are shaking, I bet the planes are made in China.. Just pull.. deep breath.. pull………………………………………………]

AH: Sir, Sir.. Hope you had a pleasant flight. We’ve landed in Hyderabad.

Me: I Slept!?!