Amidst all the so called “stress” different people behave differently. Some take up the challenge and perform exceedingly well, some decide to sit and crib about it, some give up and a few like me decide to ignore it. Hence when the morning of a term paper presentation when groups went around swearing at the group members for not formatting or collating, I was looking thru my old photographs. (My Group had completed it thanks to one guy’s awesomeness)
I can’t help but recall and relive small moments that made me human. This is like the last episode of scrubs where things run thru your mind painting a picture of all the happy and sad moments that now seems so desirable. I had read in a couple of autobiographies or B-school books that all the protagonists go thru this phase. To quote from a movie “In your life you can either be the hero or the side character. If in your life u can’t be the hero, where else can you be?”
School, home, idealness and exploratory conversations – all seem too far away from here. Now you attribute them to be kiddish, but somehow they seem so ‘safe’. I’d love the unaccountability, the sameness of the ppl around, the mock fights, the unsaid crushes and doting teachers. I’d want those moments where i stay up at night to chat with friends, roam around on the roads on cycle and fear dad’s scolding for the same. I’d want ppl, who are no longer alive, to worry about me feeling bad before telling me to study.
I had probably the most rosy college life. I know everyone feels the same way, but mine was like pages out of those Disney books, lively and colourful and so far away from reality. But it was blissful, even amidst the “Garrrryyyyyyyy” and other expletives that i seriously miss at times (maybe not the expletives). Wonderful people, nurtured bonds, petty fights, flirt sessions, long walks, serious counselling, night out sessions, philosophical bakars, leg pulling sessions.. What life!
Somehow the corporate life was ‘lovelier’ probably cos of my frame of mind. I was blessed with a team that eventually had 3 important ppl in my life. An apartment i could call home, roomies who made it seem so, friends who always understood the touch of professionalism.. Gave me a bit of grown up feeling that seemed so different from college but at the same time more confident. Bringing smile on your parent’s face with all seemingly grown up decisions and activities, I loved the independence.
Now, well, things aren’t bad at all.. In fact it is one of the most challenging times I’ve faced and hence naturally the crest and trough of emotions. An awesome gang, a good understanding with each and a great bit of peer learning. Whole lot of bakar. Moments – the good, the bad and the ugly accumulate and all it takes is the expectation of something to give to unsettle you. Rattled nerves and deluge of situations. Mistakes from past revisited, repeated and repented.
Can’t wait to get home. As they say, away from the maddening crowd.
