Well, the term in the title means clean shaven. I could have used that, but again, a new term I confused with ‘tarnished’, I got to use. I learnt this word at the centre where I saw Dhoni look alikes going in and coming out looking like Viru. And yes, I got my head tonsured at tirupati (though I must admit I would have done it at the saloon if this didn’t come along).
Right from the minute I got it done, I could have easily started a new hobby – collecting wise-ass comments from my jackass buddies(?). Ranging from ridiculous comparisons to plain indifference (ouch), people have been really forthcoming with their opinions. And me, I generally beat them to the punch with my own comments.
However what I can’t quite understand is the questions framed by those who are just acquainted. I mean why would people ask “What happened?!” What do they expect me to say? Lets say I beat nature to it (not by as big a margin as I would have liked though). My friend suggested I answer with “Its autumn!!”
Anyhow, the fact is I’ve been quite enjoying the new look. Not to mention the time saved in front of the mirror trying to solve the problems of surface area coverage with data insufficiency constraints (cough). Plus the best part has been things I can do and the immense pleasure I draw in irritating people.
The following is the list of things I’ve done / plan to do to unsuspecting people. Given it SOME thought haven’t I?!) :D
-> Start searching frantically around the place when people are around. When asked what I’m searching for, say “I seem to have lost my comb”
->In meetings or discussion make eye contact with the person who is speaking and blow off my imaginary wisp of hair falling over my eyes. This usually gets them to start stuttering.
->Whenever in elevators with mirrored doors or passing parked vehicles with people you know, stop to adjust my hair.
->Interrupt a really busy coworker and with all seriousness ask for a favor. When they grudgingly ask what, ask if they can suggest a good conditioner for my hair
->In all general conversations make references to old sayings and aphorisms that involve hair. My favorite is a tamil one which when translated into English goes something like – “Its like dragging the mountain, tying it to your hair. If you succeed it’s the mountain you’ve got else you’ve just lost a hair” (spoilt it with the translation)
->Take along a friend for shopping and spend long time in buying a comb or choosing hair oil and shampoo.
->Suddenly register a horrified expression on the face and ask people “What happened to my hair?!?!”
->In shampoo brand webpages or forums, post my new pic and say ‘xyz’ shampoo is responsible for my awesome hair.
->Use a hair dryer for long time and when people get bugged and ask me to stop, look really offended.
Now the list is not exhaustive mind you, but covers my immediate list from which I’ve tried around 60% with varying levels of success.
Here I’m signing off to get back to what I should be doing. Adios.
