Just another post

I’ve been hearing a lot of “You know sometimes I feel I can happily murder you?” lately. I can right now imagine the reactions of 5 different people who when they read would give a jump and go like “Don’t tell me, he’s written about THAT here!!”

No I’m not taking any credit for bringing the psycho social tendencies cos what followed that statement was either smileys or grins that usually conveyed the fact that they were actually happy about “THAT”.[:D] In other words they were just kidding. Now I know at least 5 other people who would go like “Damn!” and give out a shake of their head and later reiterate the fact that I’m jobless.

The conclusion one might draw from the above passage other than the obvious that some wish I were imaginary is that I have confidence in the fact that I know the people around me. One of my orkut testimonials read “He thinks he’s figured the human race” (followed by heavy sarcasm that I choose to omit). Well I don’t think that high but I’m of the opinion everyone’s an open book if you know to read between the lines. That would kind of explain my let-me-tell-you-about-you sessions after 4-5 meetings (if you haven’t got one that means I have an opinion on how you will react). Of course the “You are right” or the “Mostly right” I receive at the end of such sessions doesn’t do much to discourage me from this bad habit.

I choose to call it a bad habit cos it doesn’t do me much of good. I end up assuming most stuff, that I’m sure is right, but never take the necessary steps to be surprised. Very similar to people who play the entire game of chess verbally before making a simple move and end up frustrating the entire lot. Thankfully in my case I don’t put it verbally too often. Of course I have been wrong and am sure will be in most cases, but there’s nothing to learn here cause as Michael Crichton says “Even an educated guess is just a guess”

But still I was surprised last weekend when I got in contact with one of my friends. She was telling me how wretched her life has become by stating as reasons incidents and characters that you meet in almost everyday life! So I thought I should tell her she is not facing any problem and its common place so she might feel better. I did so and got it back nicely on how rude I was and she wasn’t looking to be comforted. What stunned me most was when she said “You are not like what you were before”.

Which made me wonder, what was I before! Being a “party focal” for my team, which includes arranging birthday parties and making others pay for treats for some arbit reason, talking is something I have to do to avoid a party where everyone is all aloof and eat and go. Most of the times I find I’m the only one talking , cracking the most pathetic PJs/wit as one sees it and make the birthday baby state what was mentioned in the first para of this blog. So when I said, “In my college days, some people thought I was a really silent person” they said the only two positive words that can be a negative – “Ya right!”.

Incidentally, it is true. You can ask one of my juniors who said the same about me in public (and regretted it the next 2 years cursing and swearing the day she said I was silent and ‘paavam’ type). So looking back I guess somewhere down the line I had become silent or given people the impression. Where I had limited my retorts to a select set of people who kind of knew who I was. Where I was there to understand problems even without expressing and put people at ease.

But like the Canara bank makeover tag says ‘We change for the ones we love' and in my case the next line that comes to my mind is from HHGTG “If there’s anything more important than my ego, I want it caught and shot now!” :)

I kind of realized so far down that the starting and ending of this blog doesn’t have much relevance. But what the hell. To conclude the first topic, it doesn’t matter if I’m wrong, I still will go about being the same. And for the second topic, as I always believe everything happens for a reason.

Will post something that makes more sense soon.