Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Bengaluru - Of Wow Bows and Bad Spells

Well guess who's become a corporate! i should have seen it coming. All the lunch time bitching about the company, changing proxies to access chat, staying late night surfing the net, gulping down amounts of coffee that matches Brazil's annual export(World trade! :O) - So obvious that the business card that proclaims i'm an engineer seems redundant! (the work done may fit in somewhere?)

Apart from letting me show off on my blog page to the 5-6 people who ever visit this page(I generally over estimate too), this brought me to Bangalore! 10 months in this place so far and I still can’t speak more than 3 words in kannda. Every 2nd guy u meet speaks fluent hindi and every 3rd guy has a girlfriend!! (I’m the 1st person here - broken hindi and …)

Banglore- supposed to be the city of gardens. One visit to the garden here, Lal Bagh, and Richard Gere would go into conniptions at the Indian hypocrisy on PDA!! Banglore- the city of endless traffic jams, of balding software professionals, of fat chics who dress up as if Mallika Sherawat is their first cousin, of divas who can prop open jaws as frequent as India can lose matches(both are reducing nowadays) and that of extremely stylish dogs!

According to me the dogs of a city are the true index of its style quotient. One look at the dogs and u can comment on the life style of the city’s people and the climate. Let me explain with an example. Chennai – The tired and scared dogs that bask in the shade, scourging for food all day, keeping their distance from people can be extrapolated to the life style of the people in the city. Booming with middle class and lower middle class, these people work hard and try to stay out of trouble and still radiate warmth.

In Banglore, the dogs are least scared of other people. They even sit always cross legged and don’t bother to move away from the foot path. When we extrapolate it to the people what we get is a city of thousands of software professionals with an income of 5 per year, who aren’t bothered about anyone, busy in their own world. Though it’s a cool way of living in an already cool place, the right amount of warmth is just found wanting.

One more thing that you’ll notice if you pay attention is their cleverly disguised war against all other languages. It is not just bad English that I’m talking about, u might find that in any state or city. Here they purposefully slip in a terribly spelt common word in permanent paint on some major hoarding and none of the buses write the destination in English. Our canteen menu is where I realized they actually do it to play around. One day for lunch we had a menu that read “Kosu Kootu and Baygon Dry”!! (Kosu is mosquito in tamil). And for all the regard they have for engineers, one of the shops proclaimed “Yenjineering work done here” (mallu mostly I suppose!)

And here is also the city where joggers and pedestrians take over the road early in the morning (I can’t give witness statement as I wake up at 8.30!) and the bikers take revenge by taking over the foot paths after 8!!! One look at the road and u would see dented cars and autos on 2 wheels battling between the buses while bikers detach themselves from the road only to block the footpaths! If you get bumped by any of the above mentioned, u get to be the target of multilingual abuse by the entire junta on wheels for causing a traffic jam. Seriously in no other town where I have gone before would I need to start 2.5 hours before time for a train and still catch it on the run.

And yet this is a city I have kind of fallen in love with. Not just the chics or the food (which btw I’m not too fond of), but the sense of indifference of the people that allows one to dissolve into the mob where u are just a face in the crowd somehow suits my current mindset. Trust me, I know most of us want the exact opposite, but for me this is just fine.

So here’s to Bangalore – my new home away from home(Chennai - always :) )!!

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Travelogue


Note: This has been all the writing i have ever managed to complete in the past 5 months if you exclude my mostly fabricated project report that earned me my Engineering Degree. Now i'm supposedly an engineer(Yup thats what my card reads). This is an account of the team outbound that our company sponsored and was written for the inhouse magazine.


Travelogue

Disclaimer: All events are factual though the interpretations were taken liberty on. If anything in the following account can be interpreted in more than one way and one of them puts events in bad light, then I obviously meant the other one.

For all working professionals, the best time of the week is always Friday evening. And on one such joyous evening(28th Sept), the TPC, GPO and the InitMedia teams prepared themselves for the team outbound to Chikamagalore, graciously sponsored by Honeywell. Owing to quite a large number of pull-outs the number was 14 that included the entire TPC team, half the GPO and a representation from the InitMedia.

Pick up points strewn across the heavily congested Bangalore roads combined with Indian punctuality made it a slow and silent start. And it took about half an hour into the journey for our people to decide to get into high spirits.

An unexpected failure of lights led the group to break into a round of Antakshari that showcased Honeywell principles of reuse and innovation! (invented lyrics , remix versions and the same song hundred times over). Undeterred by the bus driver’s efforts to make us stop by playing loud music or fixing the lights or the under the breath mutterings of people who were trying to sleep, the contest went on and on till each one flopped tired and the teams called it a tie. While a few nocturnal souls extended the team building activities to forming sets and dealing hands, dawn met us in the scenic outskirts of Chikamagalore.


TexWood Resorts where we were accommodated is situated in a span of 250 acres of coffee plantation. The tall towering bamboos and the curving path amidst the greenery, not to mention the bumpy ride by jeep, helped switch gears to holiday mood. Away from traffic and civilization (no cell phone tower!), this was peace like never before. The resort looked into picturesque scenery and it was more of a home stay with pampering comfortable rooms and good food. Took some effort from our part not to surrender to the comforts and stay in all day. After breakfast the group got divided on the basis of love for adventure or love for cricket.

Pumped up by India’s T20 victory (and before the Australian demolished the same), the cricket lovers amongst us, decided to battle it out. A tricky pitch where the challenges just kept mounting, the stage was set for games of absolute spirit. Moss laded outfield, where slip was not just a fielding position, with towering barb wire fencing, it was a picture out of the World’s Most Difficult grounds. With Ravi managing to dispatch the ball with ease between slipping fielders and Srihari getting the most number of wickets, everyone had chipped in and had gotten in touch with their inner child. Blinder catches and Direct hit runouts, the playing lot sure did give some tips that can be useful to the Indian team. To describe in one word the efforts – Josh.

The second group, counting on the strength of the legs, decided to flirt with nature in the pretense of a trek. Accompanied by Ramesh (a Jimmy Hendrix inspired, silent TexWood employee) to guide us, and warned not to pluck the oranges from the orchard on the way (which meant we stopped at every orange tree), six of us set out on a 2.5 km trek through the forest which was, well, set up nicely with a “How much more to go?” two minutes into the trek.

With the camera shutters fluttering all the way and incessant yapping, we reached the fishing pond maintained by the resort. All the first timers tried our luck, with no intention of letting any of those fishes die (Pavani the most successful with 3 amidst Megha’s frantic “Let it go!!” from the second there was a tug on the line).From there, A few steep climbs and descents later we reached our next destination, a small stream with a wooden bridge, that was to become the 2nd most memorable event of the day.

Well, all of us were used to going with the flow. But when we got a chance to do it literally, believe me, it was an absolutely amazing experience (though our backs might disagree). Splashing water on each other and resorting to every possible antic that would have given an aquatic being an inferiority complex, that was the most fun one can imagine to ever have.


Still it was the 2nd most memorable event because after some nerve pulls and drip drying, our rendezvous with the blood sucking creatures began(I’m not talking about capitalists here). Though actually a painless affair, the sight of a leech wiggling on one’s legs is sufficient to scare the hell out of you claims Poornima. She would know better. With frantic reactions that kept any mistaken wild animal out of our path, the walk back kept all of us busy, mainly Vishwa who had to remove the Leeches every ten steps from the affected party’s legs. But that in no way dampened the yapping capabilities and we reached back thanks to a mid way lift, with gloating smiles of achievement and a glee inerasable from our faces recounting the tryst with nature.


After a few more games of cricket in the evening and a whole lot of set building in the afternoon, the preparations for the camp fire began. Intoxicated by nature, polluted by blaring music, everyone shook their legs around the campfire (of course after a lot of persuasion) immaterial of whether it was Himesh extending a single syllable unendingly or a typical “Dabbanguthu” in tamil (Manju deserves special mention for his amazing Dance performance). The show was completely stolen by a kid, from one of the families staying at the resort, who wanted to join in on the fun. Amritha, a kindergarten kid, was an amazingly fast learner who soon tired out her energetic dance mentor – Jyoti! Cheered on by the entire group, the kid truly rocked the party. Only the thought of the kitchen closing, made people break camp and head indoors after 2.5 hrs in the open, dancing (or simply sitting) around the campfire.


An early start the next day to catch up on hours of travel made us bid adieu to TexWood haven around 8.30 after breakfast. Ferried in jeeps to our bus and the spirit of adventure still not dampened, few of us decided to travel on the top of the bus!! Motivated by the driver’s encouragement (Friday night Antakshari effect?), eight of us took to our perch. I admit, I had initially imagined a “Chaiya Chaiya” type travel with music and dance, but I was proved wrong. Critical was the fact that we had to hold on tight all the way and get our heads out of the way of every low branch that greeted us (they expected us back at work on Mon). Managing to slip in a few ‘songs’ and cries for Vaishno Devi Matha (No, we weren’t getting all spiritual), this was really an exhilarating experience. Of course the weird looks we received from passers by and the waving we received from the kids on the roads only served to inflate our sense of accomplishment.

Next stop was Belur. The main attraction in Belur is the Chennakesava temple complex which contains the ChennaKesava Temple (dedicated to Lord Chennakeshava , meaning handsome Vishnu) as the centre piece, surrounded by the Kappe Chennigraya temple built by Shantaladevi, queen of king Vishnuvardana of the Hoysala dynasty. The temple is one of the finest examples of Hoysala architecture. The facade of the temple is filled with intricate sculptures and friezes with no portion left blank. The intricate workmanship includes elephants, lions, horses, episodes from the Indian mythological epics and sensuous dancers (Shilabalikas) flanging the entire outer periphery of the temple. Each of these sculptures depicted the varying innate characters exhibited by women, all modeled on the queen Shantaladevi. Inside the temple are a number of ornate pillars whose engineering brilliance, in addition to the heritage, would surely bring in a humbling effect on the present day architects. No two pillars are the same and the art work truly brilliant.

The sculptures with the intricate carvings keeping in mind the attention for details was mind numbing! It was impossible not to a let a small amount of worthlessness seep in, in the presence of such great art. Maybe, centuries from now, when programming might be declared an art, the lines of code we write would be appreciated for the intricacies of the “for loops” and deft handling of classes. Wishful thinking I suppose. Sigh.

With buses to catch and dinner appointments to be met, time just seemed to be in a hurry to fly and we had to head back to Bangalore. The mood in the bus was solemn and like the hallmark of any memorable time spent, silence characterized the goodbyes. After two back to back movies with a lunch stop, the cab reached back the HTS compound at 7.30 with just about 7 people, the rest dropped off on the way.

This team that has bonded beyond hierarchy, brought closer by shared enthusiasms and now gelling in to work towards the organizational goals, is a statement by itself to the success of Honeywell’s Team building efforts.

The memories gathered elicit a sigh even a month after the trip. I guess this is one hangover no one is in any hurry to come out of.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Dude! Where's my voice?

Clonk!! Hammer.. Where did my tongue go? shit i was born without a larynx(or was it pharynx?)!!! ok, i seem to have moved my head in the affirmative for something! then why is she still talking?? that name where have i heard before?! oh ya its mine..

This was an imaginative thought process that could possibly explain the state of those guys who claim to be "men of few words", while all the people who know them simply seem to feel gifted are the deaf not to be able to hear these guys! Well i for one, personally know such people and the other extreme too that i might deal with later in the blog. Now these people, if gifted with wit or even a sense of timing, u feel sorry for them. Cos it somehow seems to build a kind of complex that makes them abusive of anyone normal. Let me tell u before hand all this concerns only the species of the uncommitted male.

Now what is that factor that makes them express such tongue tiedness. Some possible explanations i can dish out. Light travels faster than sound and so u never know how stupid one is till they open their mouth(nothing original). Having had to put up with themselves over years, they might have a clear picture as to the crap that emanates. And when it is all about projecting a favorable image (even if only to non-males) the brain might refuse to let the tongue muscles contract or expand. If biological conspiracy isn't what is responsible, then the bollywood and all other woods in India (and abroad) suggest an extreme shy attitude or the craziness they call pyar, mohabbat and what not?!! Well most of these specimens are unabusive.

But what about the abusive ones? I think for this u have to blame charles darwin for his theory of evolution that traces the family tree to apes and animal planet that runs such documentaries on the apes, which us guys tumble upon in the immediate need to change channels.(ahem) When a male ape finds itself inadequate to compete with other male apes, it seems to scream, attack and resort to indulging in all sorts of things like bossing around, throwing fecal matter (thank god the first part didn't sink in too much) and becoming extremely offensive. That’s why i say don't land on animal planet! My sympathies go out to such guys.

Now in the other end of the spectrum lie specimens, who make a fool out of themselves drooling so unaware of the surroundings and then come back to boast of their conquests. Well again, what can be going through their mind, when they could not even manage a hi to the entire gang when with a female, who mostly treats them as jesters? When all they talk about is talk about their ex crushes (or current failed attempts) and ask about class timings or exams and then come back to the gang and say they were simply flirting with a 'chic'? A tough call. For they gain not anything but some encouragement from girls who take sympathy on them and laugh at the stupidest attempts made at jokes that they take a liberty in assuming more of the same is all they want. After all projection seems to be the order of the day.

But guess these people form a minority of the guys. Cos there is a majority of guys, for whom the conquest ain't all and their attempts are projected without exaggeration. i have lost track of all the names they coin, like metrosexual, ubersexual and stuff that don't mean a thing. Guess all that matters is a steady head that understands manliness is much more horizontal than erect and doesn't go open mouthed at any casual or platonic conversation with the other gender. So here's to us guys!

Wednesday, April 4, 2007

Don't u cry!

Note: I have not become a father nor have i gone into deep distraught. This is just an imaginative song penned down on demand (the demander would murder me if i reveal!!). Just to add a bit of variety to my blogpage(3 blogs!!!!)

DON'T YOU CRY

Hey dear baby, don’t u cry
I’ll be by your side, till the oceans go dry.
Wish I could know what makes u cry
So I could bring that smile back, I won’t sigh.

If your tummy’s grumble is what makes u wail,
Hold on honey, for just a little while,
The water and milk powder, I’ve mixed with my love
For my princess who I hold all above!
If its your wet bottom that waters your eye,
Worry not darling, for here am i
Waste no tears on dirty nappy
Pappy will do anything to see you happy

Hey dear baby, don’t u cry
I’ll be by your side till the oceans go dry.
Wish I could know what makes u cry
So I could bring that smile back, I won’t sigh.

Or is it ur want for your mommy that makes u weep?
Of all love she promised, she failed to keep.
Please my princess don’t, her, u hate
My love, ur mommy, was a victim of fate
Her peals of laughter still clear in my ear
Her warmth I find not in cold beer or fire
With her gone I thought I’d give,
But, for u my darling I still live

Hey dear baby, don’t u cry
I’ll be by your side, till the oceans go dry.
Wish I could know what makes u cry
So I could bring that smile back, I won’t sigh.

Hey dear baby, don’t u cry..


PS: Will be back on track soon with my next post :) (for whoever is visiting!)

Thursday, November 30, 2006

Of Bachelor Gangs and trumped up charges..

You will probably know a seemingly somnambulistic individual, prowling the corridor at ungodly hours [Even by a hosteller’s standard!] uttering inaudible words. On closer examination u will notice the headphones [With miniaturized gadgets u can’t identify the actual bonkers case!]. Or the guy whose “Haan.. mathlab.. chuckle.. giggle”emanates from behind the doors of the only proper loo when u want to use it! Well I can’t offer my opinion about their counterparts but I can state boldly these people are generally loners. Not that their gangs disowned them but they chose to be so.

I personally know people who have detached themselves from the gang on the arrival of a girl. As one of my friends remarked “What the hell did she do to him!? She’s changed him completely!!”. O course his frustration is justified. A guy who used to shower us with four letter words at the frequency of a klystron oscillator [ECE guys] now wincing every time I utter a rare disgusted profanity.. I mean, HOW CRAZY IS THAT!!!

Having brought on the charges guess the burden of reasoning rests with me. Let me start with a simple explanation.

If u have read Freakanomics u would probably know, the one point the author is trying to drive home is - Man is driven by incentives. So he mostly settles for the side with the butter. I mean a group to hang out with and party is not exactly on par with a more ‘harmonally’ driven relationship [Adrenaline rush remember?] is it? For those who ask why they have to be mutually exclusive, I can tell u if everyone in the group has a girlfriend then probably yes, but then that would be a group of loners.

Snide remarks and knowing glances can be somewhat irritating I guess. Let me take a scenario. I for one believe had Adam and Eve been Chinese we would still be in paradise for they would have gone for the snake and spared the fruit. [Relevancy lost] But imagine if Adam had been offered the fruit in front of his ‘hip’ gang of guys. [clothed of-course] With remarks like “Dude, u are drooling all over” or “Hey Adam, how about the peach Daphne offered” or a mimicry of “have the fruit Adam”, who knows, we might still be in paradise!! So maybe the lost in love fledgling feels more secure in solitude. Atleast his projected image stays unshattered.

If you are on of those [unprintable profanity] guys who ditched your gang [shame on u!] and think this passage supports your actions, well u can jump off from the tallest structure and let gravity finish its job!! This is intended to come to the aid of the poor thing [read GF] who takes the rap for your misdemeanor. And if u are the GF who is appreciating my concern, I have this to say. If u breakup with ur boyfriend cause he doesn’t care for u, u know whom to approach next [contact details in profile :D]

If u just reading this for fun, hope u enjoyed the attempted behavioral explanation and nodded ur head at least once.