From Byes that weren’t extras to Skip distance strategy

When you have a screwed up pun in the title, the chances are you are on a roll! Being on a roll is a bad news if you are a chicken I guess (buwahaha).

I half expected to see myself getting the business focus, the professionalism and a small amount of cut down on my PJs since I’m now a part of the IM Shillong family. What i didn’t take into account was the fact that I’m back to a college and hostel life! :D

When I quit my job and moved from Bangalore, amidst sad faces (who were secretly exchanging hi-fives whenever my back was turned) there were 3 things that I realized.

a) I’m going to be missing a few people whom I’m really glad I met and Sincerely hope to be in touch with for the rest of my life (a very tough promise)

b) Now that i won’t have a pay-check, I’m actually dependent again and can’t spend big!

c) You cannot carry 5 bags of luggage on your own and cross the railway over-bridge without looking stupid

The week I spent in Chennai after that I kind of realized being literally jobless, I was working more than i ever did in office! Of course a whole lot of running around in the hot sun, eating home food and pampering my dog left me with one day to pack all my stuff for probably a really long stay away from home. (2 years in Bangalore or 4 years in VIT, i ended up coming home atleast once a month). So while all the batch mates I met at the airport were paying extra luggage I was the only one who had less than the limit allowed!! Kind of explained the borrowing I’ve been doing here in the name of "inclusive development" :)

Shillong – Love at first sight! Though it took my maiden flight, bad airline sandwich, a 3.5 hour drive that was dangerously probing the anti gravity attributes of the bad sandwich, the thing that remains in memory of the 1^st of July was my “Shit! This place is Awesome!!” Lush greenery everywhere, warm people, beautiful landscapes, cool weather (I’ve been wearing a jerkin all the while) and above all the excitement at pursuing my dream! I’m gonna be writing a lot more on this place in the next 2 years. ( i left out - the chance to flaunt my hindi :D)

The rigour of work interlaced with ice breaker sessions topped off with awesome partying last -weekend. I got back into the groove of exam-eve-night at VIT (here an everyday affair), long useless conversations (never lost touch) and terms dropping (now all management terms like sustainability and crises) totally out of context (all this before the term even began). Just took a break and came after an hour of absolutely crappy conversation (taking cases and my own case taken) laughing my ass off . Aah, college :D A lot of time to talk about it.

An electronics engineer might know what a skip distance might mean. It is more so relevant in a class room where there’s a terrible generalization that first benchers are sincere ;) On one day when i sat there, a blog entry got written on a fellow students page on how first benchers are sincerely taking notes. Those drawings in the margin and the philo flowing plus the sleep u can manage without getting caught aren’t something that is apparent. Doesn’t hurt in this concept called class participation either :D

I hope to be a bit more regular in this new avatar of dumping business jargons to trivial issues to take off the steam of serious assignments :D Next, i hope to write on crises, long pending after Crichton’s Andromeda Strain :) Adios till then.

Sincerely

Now, not that I had written my earlier blogs under the veils of deceit, scheming for world domination, but I thought this one should be straight from the heart with no bad puns or extremely clever word usage (cough).

I got admission into the Indian Institute of Management Shillong for the batch of 2009-2011. I can’t say how glad I’m.

There are a few people I need to acknowledge. Doing it in person seemed a bit awkward and invariably ended in grins/laughs. This is no particular order.

My TL, Amar, who has been extremely supportive right from the start. Being my mentor, he genuinely seems to takes pride in my achievements and I couldn’t have asked for a better person to guide me in this corporate world. He gave a glowing referral for my IIM B and also very valuable inputs all thru my 2.5 years at Honeywell for my all round growth and development.

Pokey, who has been extremely frank in his opinions and that’s probably the kind of person you need as your friend. Not the one to just agree with whatever u say, this is the kind of guy who gives honest opinion and not so sweetened Judgments that might at times be a bitter pill to swallow. I’m still working on a couple of his inputs and he’s off to IIM Lucknow.

Ninja, who probably should have been dead had I ever managed to catch him in college. The last one year of my CAT prep couldn’t have happened with the same vigor had it not been for him. Every test and every mock I took, I had someone to set targets with, someone to keep me pushing for more. Unlucky to have missed out this year, but mach, greatness shall be yours.

My roomies, Sheela and Sriram have been one major factor. I mean when the last thing you see before u sleep and the first thing u see when u wake up is your roomies preparing, keeps you pushing. For their hard work, I’m sure this year is gonna pay off big dividends. Vikrant, who is now in US for his MS, also was instrumental in convincing me to quit contemplating and start preparing for this CAT.

Joe, whose corporate wisdom and truckloads of sense, have guided me thru times when my confidence levels were down. She doesn’t sugar coat inputs, but probably the best person to help you out if you ever need. Between driving her crazy and finding innovative ways to get on her nerves, I can never say a sincere thanks without her interrupting with “Thappad khaana hai? Koi kaam nahi hai? :D “

Poornima, arguably the best thing to happen to me post college. Between monosyllable replies and long monologues, she is one person headed for greatness in anything she chooses to pursue. Getting her to pursue anything is a tough ask, so she lets a lot of things pursue her ;) [Sorry, I couldn’t resist]

And again a lot of well wishers, Sk, Rini, Shabu,Paddu to name a few.

By God, I know I can’t thank anyone more than my family for their support. But thanks is just too lame.

I’ve been lucky. In a lot of ways. A lot of people have told me this. The kind of ppl i've come across, the way things have worked out. Despite this, I don’t have to justify to anyone I wanted this so sincerely.

God bless us all. Looking forward to an awesome 2 years :)

PS: This is the first time I’m mentioning names in my blog. Mostly cos I’ve never had a lot of good things to say about ppl and saying the crazy stuff with names might have put my life at risk ;)

@ the rate of Thought

Calvin: Sometimes when I’m talking my words can’t keep pace with my thought. I wonder why we think faster than we can speak!
Hobbes: Probably so we can think twice.

A Bill Waterson gem! :)

Not so much the philosophy, but at least the first part is intriguing. This is a situation almost everybody find themselves in. A minute of silence is all is needed to have thousand conversations with self. Most of which is crazy I must say. I tried to capture my line of thinking and found them pretty crazy.

Situ 1: Attended a marriage of a friend. Not many mutual friends, so..

God, I hate weddings..They should ban weddings.. Why would so many ppl sit around looking at each other.. I wonder what they are all thinking.. Hmmm, that box looks big, wonder whats in it.. What if they open to find the box empty.. grin.. must try it out once in some party.. Hey where have I seen that girl!.. can’t be company, not so many pretty girls.. of course there is [beep] but again too few.. I haven’t seen [beep] in some time now.. aah..[beep] .. real pretty.. wait, this girl, where have I seen.. must be one of those dejavu moments.. dejavu.. he he.. dejavu dejavu.. scrubs.. I hope the food is good.. heard gujju food is generally good.. what was that dish – Kadhi? Hope they give that.. It was delicious.. Hey where did that pretty girl go!!

All this while waiting in line to go wish the couple :)

Situ 2: Riding the bike after some heavy philosophical discussion on future

I wonder how it would turn out.. I wonder what future holds for me.. interesting image, a blind beggar with a board around his neck that reads future.. holds out to everyone the bowl for charity, but ppl are just too busy to notice! Wow.. what a philo.. hey, wait! Isn’t phile means love? So whats the root word of philosophy? Wonder if it’s the same phile. whats sophy.. definitely not that MTV female.. yew, irritating! Sophie loving ppl need to be termed classphobes or something.. ah, future - everything happens for a reason.. mostly good.. what all have reinstated my beleief? Why go so long ago, today morning coffee was delayed thanks to %^&%. But see what happened! Bumped into [beep].. aah..[beep] .. grin.. this should irritate someone.. he he.. wonder why I love irritating a few select ppl..

A 2 min drive from shop to office.

Situ 3: Weekly tracking meeting

What a boring meeting.. I hope they don’t ask me anything.. I hate explaining what I did.. I should have been an executioner! Very easy to explain the job.. wonder if executioners are given monthly targets.. damn, I’d hate to be around an executioner just before his appraisal discussion.. why is everyone laughing? God, I missed the joke.. who cares, just laugh.. I wonder if just nodding at the right times is sufficient.. no, too risky.. the direction of nod could commit you to something you don’t want.. hey look, a bunch of network cables.. Looks like they plan to use multiple laptops at a same time.. hey wait, if I could hold them together and take a photo I can email it saying “A communication engineer’s valentine gift”.. he he.. wait for the meeting to end to take the photo.. will come in handy later.. I must wipe that grin off my face.. focus.. Is someone calling my name?
“Ya, I was just trying to recollect the Par classification..”

nice save! must stop watching Scrubs!!

Situ 4: One of the most crucial 15 mins where I was required to think

…



[Sigh]

Principles yield no interest at any rate..

If you ever try to assess the words that draw the most sarcasm, I’m sure after ‘Just Friends’ the word that draws most snigger would be ‘Principle’. I mean, its not that people don’t believe it, but just that they can’t stop rolling eyes whenever someone utters these.

And believe me it is overrated too. a couple of months back when I was conversing with a certain person of the opposite sex with no obvious purpose, the topic of drinks came up. She blatantly asked how often do I get drunk with a puff of smoke all around and make a fool out of myself. In all honesty I said “I am a teetotaler, vegetarian(irrelevant) and a non smoker. But ya I don’t need external agents to make a fool out of myself [grin] I’m eternally intoxicated [wink]”. And she had to say this “Oh! Why? Principles huh? [wink, grin]”.I had met her an hour before and there she was asking me the one question I’ve been tweaking the answer to since my school days. After a “Naah. Just to have something to brag about. Heard it is a great line that women fall for[Grin]” “[Giggle] [giggle]” and half hour of chatter, I subconsciously made a note to try to avoid that question at all cost.

Now, I’m not saying I’m not proud of it nor am I gonna canvas against these stuff. It’s quite simply a matter of choice and I don’t want to discuss it as such. But the idea of what to do and what not to do, should it be labeled as principles? For example, will Sidhu label speaking normal English, against his principles? I think it should be called something on the lines of “Whatever I want to do” or something.

Anyways, it too has a downside. Some time back I went to a bar with my friends and while they were busy selecting stuff to order from a really impressive menu, I very confidently turned it to the last page for the lighter stuff. (Wonder why all the non-alcoholic stuff is prefixed with a ‘virgin’ while the opposite of it is ‘bloody’?) To the bearer I confidently said “one Virgin Piccola” and he blinked to assess if I was serious. Only after my friends ordered something did he heave a sigh of relief and went in with a shake of his head. After that he went all out to insult. That thing I got was adorned with an umbrella, cherries and fruits on the side of the glass, much to my company’s delight. (jackasses)

What makes me go through with all this and still hold dear certain self imposed restrictions despite having nothing against it? I mean if I were against it morally, I would be trying to dissuade my friends’ right? (which ppl claim I did initially). After some serious thought, I realized these are reassurances that I’m in control of my actions. After seeing my close friends and relatives who have been trying to give up smoking or a friend of mine who has been trying to rid of booze only to end up getting drunk time and again, I guess its more of a whim to take control.

As if to reiterate the fact, I can’t think of one rationale reason for me deciding to lay off ice-cream for the past 4 months or a silly bet after which I decided to stop coffee (I couldn’t start my day without it). As the guy in ‘Wanted’ movie says : “This is me taking control of my life” and to that add “Just to garner my ego” Guess the strip below is relevant :D

(click to enlarge)

Oh and just to do away with a misconception: I was told that, apparently women (atleast down south) would want the guy to be addicted to any of the so called ‘vices’ so that they can take the credit of ‘changing’ them! God save us men!

This is kind of dedicated to a friend who can’t stand people who smoke or drink and still was curious how I never tried it.

A Tonsured head and a bag full of Ideas

Well, the term in the title means clean shaven. I could have used that, but again, a new term I confused with ‘tarnished’, I got to use. I learnt this word at the centre where I saw Dhoni look alikes going in and coming out looking like Viru. And yes, I got my head tonsured at tirupati (though I must admit I would have done it at the saloon if this didn’t come along).

Right from the minute I got it done, I could have easily started a new hobby – collecting wise-ass comments from my jackass buddies(?). Ranging from ridiculous comparisons to plain indifference (ouch), people have been really forthcoming with their opinions. And me, I generally beat them to the punch with my own comments.

However what I can’t quite understand is the questions framed by those who are just acquainted. I mean why would people ask “What happened?!” What do they expect me to say? Lets say I beat nature to it (not by as big a margin as I would have liked though). My friend suggested I answer with “Its autumn!!”

Anyhow, the fact is I’ve been quite enjoying the new look. Not to mention the time saved in front of the mirror trying to solve the problems of surface area coverage with data insufficiency constraints (cough). Plus the best part has been things I can do and the immense pleasure I draw in irritating people.

The following is the list of things I’ve done / plan to do to unsuspecting people. Given it SOME thought haven’t I?!) :D

-> Start searching frantically around the place when people are around. When asked what I’m searching for, say “I seem to have lost my comb”

->In meetings or discussion make eye contact with the person who is speaking and blow off my imaginary wisp of hair falling over my eyes. This usually gets them to start stuttering.

->Whenever in elevators with mirrored doors or passing parked vehicles with people you know, stop to adjust my hair.

->Interrupt a really busy coworker and with all seriousness ask for a favor. When they grudgingly ask what, ask if they can suggest a good conditioner for my hair

->In all general conversations make references to old sayings and aphorisms that involve hair. My favorite is a tamil one which when translated into English goes something like – “Its like dragging the mountain, tying it to your hair. If you succeed it’s the mountain you’ve got else you’ve just lost a hair” (spoilt it with the translation)

->Take along a friend for shopping and spend long time in buying a comb or choosing hair oil and shampoo.

->Suddenly register a horrified expression on the face and ask people “What happened to my hair?!?!”

->In shampoo brand webpages or forums, post my new pic and say ‘xyz’ shampoo is responsible for my awesome hair.

->Use a hair dryer for long time and when people get bugged and ask me to stop, look really offended.

Now the list is not exhaustive mind you, but covers my immediate list from which I’ve tried around 60% with varying levels of success.

Here I’m signing off to get back to what I should be doing. Adios.