Meandering Musings

Old Benedryl in New Bottle

2012-01-16T11:43:00.000-08:00

For the last 4-5 years, this has been the time. You know, where I introspect, prioritize, re-strategize and do pretty much the same thing I’ve been doing forever in life. I guess the last year was something I’m thankful for, so I know what to look forward to in this year (what with doomsday prediction and all) Just thinking aloud, writing down later and posting it mid month.

2011 saw the average Indian becoming slightly above average. Health conscious people moved on from diets to fasting resulting in lowering of food inflation. Media covered scandals, commented on scandals and when nothing happened created their own scandals and roped in some big shots for good measure. From Hollywood stars making guest appearance in our movies, our Err.. actors made appearances in Hollywood movies. There was a general feel good for Indians at the fact that we have complained or cribbed rather than accepting. Since we are developing country (for the last 65 years) which is on the verge of becoming a superpower (for last 8 years), I’m not gonna bother about the rest of the world.

All of a sudden someone might point out, “hey wait a minute, isn’t that similar to what happened the year before as well?” Smart you are! There are many milestones as such but if you pay attention, life is pretty much the mundane repetitive cycle of events with varying players and circumstances. If you are a math person – Integration by parts if you please..I see a lot of impatience in and around me and sometimes quest for milestones makes us lose focus on the day to day mundane.

Without getting all philosophical, 2011 was a decent year for me. Professionally I’m in a career where I love what I do (ideally should hold good personally too [whistles to distract] ). I’ve fulfilled my responsibilities with a bit of arrogance and a lot of hard work. Realized being content and positive doesn’t mean less ambitious. Enjoyed myself on the social network and gave in to the new age primal instinct of tweeting. And pretty much enjoyed the journey through uneven roads without getting too bogged down. So I would like to continue doing these parts in 2012.

Coincidentally enough my personal life followed pretty much the fortunes of the Indian cricket team. Started the year a bit tentatively, reached the peak in March, April, Forgettable mid year, got back a bit of form in the last quarter and finishing a tad furtive. Hopefully 2012 doesn’t go that way (what with crushing Sydney and Perth tests). Blogging suffered and so did my reading. To use my ECE parlance my ‘Form Factor’ left a lot to be desired. Hope to set things right

I guess at the end of day [cliche1], [cliche 2], . Blah. [title explanation]

Thank God I'm me.
God Bless All.

Cities – Relatively speaking

2011-10-29T10:14:00.000-07:00

Ok! This was news to me that there is a pissing contest between Mumbai and Delhi as to which is the better/worse city. So when I had met up my friends in Delhi and casually mentioned ‘its not like in Mumbai..’, I set in motion the most animated discussion that is second only to Arnab Goswami on Times Now. When put under the lime light for comments, I dug deep into my repertoire of GD skills and offered “Well, I think we need to define a framework as to what we mean by better..” As expected, I was ignored for the rest of the evening.

In reality, I feel the city works for you if there is a connection between who you are and what the people of the city believe in. In times when people are seeking out McD and PVR in every city (and ‘taken for a ride’ by the respective autowalas and taxiwalas), this vibe you can feel only after staying in a city and interacting with the actual localites. (So, all you Bangalore guys and girls in Electronics City don’t qualify).

I guess cities are more like relatives, friends and acquaintances. So like people they can be stereotyped and made fun of. This is according to me – the 5 cities I can comment about.

Delhi: Delhi is that HDFC grand dad – ‘na sar jhuka hai kabhi’ types. Got that determined pride about it. Filled with monuments and tombstones (heritage), it assumes the head of the family role. Shows off richness like royalty. Can be preachy, can entertain you with stories (not to mention really pretty granddaughters.. ahem) Gets a bit boring at times. People in this city live life the way they want and with pride.

Mumbai: Mumbai is like that wild outgoing girl you try to ask for a dance at a party. Wild, colorful and pretty friendly with everyone, she is the one you have a crush on. Seems fun at first sight but then you slowly realize she will continue to party without ever attaching a bit of warmth towards you. Doesn’t expect anything from you and you better not expect either. People in the city carry dreams and are happy in their silos.

Chennai: Chennai was easy – strict and a bit ill tempered dad. People outside can’t understand why you love the place. It punishes you with the heat and humidity, admonishes you (judgemental) but will love the family. This means if you are an outsider, your acceptance is not a given. Can tell you stories that ‘build character’ like Calvin’s Dad but will expect you to get its approval. People in this city look to fit in however different their ideas.

Bengaluru – Bengaluru is like your neighbor. Hi, bye and the occasional get together apart, they leave you to yourself. Sometimes nosy, but mostly cordial. Well maintained lawns (what with the gardens), loud music at times, problem with pets (number of street dog chases) and of course the neighbor’s daughter(s) ;) People in this city move about their lives with minimum fuss.

Shillong – Your lazy roommate. The guy who suggests to switch off the lights at 10 and wake up at noon, tells you to chill when you are upset about something and always game for a lazy chat. People in this city are just too content with life.

Now it wouldn’t exactly be fair to compare which is better. Maybe which you like the most can be a valid question. In my opinion “it depends on what various factors and is also a function of tim... Hey! Wait! I’m speaking here! Hulooo…”

Been a while since my last post -> All is well. Whatever I had to say I seem to have conveyed in 140 chars these days. Adios. (On Twitter: girish_k)

In Memory

2011-06-03T21:58:00.000-07:00

Memories have a crazy and almost sad way of surfacing. Last Sunday, I remembered, downloaded and revisited a chapter from my CBSE class XI book called “God Is Near” (Chapter 12 of “It Shouldn’t happen to a Vet” by James Herriot). I now realize you can’t find closure in books for the loss of such a loved/loving pet.

Binny who became an integral part of our family put up a fight to stay alive and finally gave up on Thursday. I reached today morning to my home filled with his absence. And it doesn’t quite feel the same. In his short span of 2.5 years he has managed to bring so much joy and smile to us that with time I would be able to only remember such beautiful memories. Now is a different scenario.

I would miss him dearly and that is an understatement. We all would. He is irreplaceable when it comes to his antics, his intelligence and unconditional devotion and love. This is in loving memory of such a great friend and almost a family member.

"They say animals have no souls."
"Who says."
"Oh, I've read it and I know a lot of religious people believe it."
"Well I don't believe it." I patted the hand which still grasped mine. "If having a soul means being able to feel love and loyalty and gratitude, then animals are better off than a lot of humans. You've nothing to worry about there."
"Oh, I hope you're right. Sometimes I lie at night thinking about it."
"I know I'm right, Miss Stubbs, and don't you argue with me. They teach us vets all about animals' souls."

From It Shouldn't Happen to a Vet

Hell he even managed to get a mention in most of my blogs since his arrival. I guess a ‘dog’s life’ is desirable after all :(

The True Emotions Over A Fake Cup

2011-04-05T22:28:00.000-07:00

You know, 12 years from now, when my kid can understand cricket, she/he is going to ask me “Dad what were you doing when India won the WC in style?” I know I have ruined it for her/him with my “Eh.. Umm..I was travelling in flight from Guwahati to Chennai”. Now my kid will then go on to become Poppit World Champion or the lord of Farmville with no trace of Cricket! I might just save it by saying “Hey, if it means anything, the cup was a fake.. (stupid grin)”

I tried to reconstruct my actions after listening to India win ball by ball over phone at the Airport. First came the screaming announcement that I made at baggage (ironically) conveyor. Then a jig that left a couple of impressionable audience scarred for life. Then discussed non-stop with a poor taxi driver on the defining moments of WC (much to his frustration, what with his leave application denied). Finally caught the images that matter the most as soon as I reached home – over and over again!

After promising myself, I will not talk about Leadership, Team Dynamics et all, thanks to the over eager media who should have left it to us – Its beyond words to describe what an achievement this is! I mean, we WON! Despite the Nehras, Chawlas and Sreesanths! In Style! This bunch has managed to capture the dreams of the billion and make it a reality after struggling to win against Ireland and Netherland! It was almost as if it was scripted by the richest country in ICC!

Watching MSD smash the six and react, I almost got reminded of his innings against the hapless Kings XI Punjab in the last league game of IPL3. With adrenaline pumping, the images were so similar, only this time it was the entire billion who were jumping in joy. (More on MSD) A crying Yuvraj, yet another similarity, but then again, this is a whole different context. Virat Kohli became an overnight hero due to his smart statement to media that touched a chord with all the Sachin fans.

Of course after this every one of those cricketers is crores richer, but then again, I don’t mind! Except when my grandmom, after looking at my PGDM degree from IIMS shed tears of happiness and said, “Had you been a cricketer, you wouldn’t need all this, no?”

Knowing BCCI, the next step would be to organize a 50 over IPL format and create one more Lalit Modi. But hey, when Sharadh Pawar can be responsible for Anti-Corruption, I would gladly let Lalit Modi take on the reins of IPL and make it grand! I even forgive them for pocketing the 15lakhs and giving away the fake cup and then paying 25 lakhs to cover it up!

For the obscene amount of money Nike has spent on India, I will say, We Bleed Blue! Although I’m just extremely proud and happy we won! Yayyyyyyyyyyyy! Pride that will be carried into every tournament for the next 2 years (or till India gets its ass kicked real bad)

Go India!

The Finish Line

2011-03-26T13:41:00.000-07:00

Since my last blog 3 months back, I have kind of changed as a person. Nothing Marlyn Mason type, just a few minor adjustments to prep me up for the post B-School world. Given the scariness of the place outside and the 2 years that were supposed to equip me for the battle, its time to set things right.

Everybody says it’s a rat race out there. Then shouldn’t the one who breaks the rope at the finish be the toughest and the meanest rat? I always wondered what they were racing for. In a B-School, especially an IIM, everyone runs more out of the fear of being left out than reaching the destination.

If it were the grades that people were worried about, then I can safely assure you, in a small institute like ours it did not matter. The happiest people were those who did not worry about the grades. Given the fact, whims and fancies of ‘business’ people with egos can influence your grades; they never are an indicator of a person’s acumen. So the race was not for the grades.

Pay checks maybe? I don’t think it mattered much. People have been sensible enough to prioritize what they wanted and at the end of the day everybody is happy (I hope). And nobody I knew was eyeing what the other person should not get, if you know what I mean. So I guess it was pretty much every man for himself and the ‘race’ as such was inconsequential. More like a game of Koko.

Whatever it was, when we just finished a dress rehearsal for the convocation parade today, I realized none of it matters. We rehash the memories of the awesome batch we had, the people who we will miss, the last tryst with education for most and the legacy we are required to uphold. I know every batch of every B-School thinks they are special, but not many batches get recognized as special by the admin, juniors, faculty et all. We didn’t need any validation – the Awesome 66. I guess the real winning at this stage is the fact that we were together at the finish line.

The long nights of bakar, TT room, the group presentations, ‘situations’ and open houses, politics, impromptu presentations, classroom nautankis, long walks, 3am maggi – without these, the lifestyle seems a tad boring! Heck, I even went to the library the last 2 days, place I had hardly gone the last 2 years!

As I move ahead to my dream career, I will dearly miss some of the most amazing people anyone will ever meet, who are destined for glory and greatness. As I try to steal moments the last few days to relive every single aspect of this great journey, I know memories are all I will have. Wonderful journey with the wonderful people – Blessed!

So much for brevity!

Special mention: A huge thanks to PGP10 for making the last month or so, so memorable for us and the hell awesome yearbook J All the best!

Roundup!

2010-12-31T01:26:00.000-08:00

Filter coffee. Period. Maybe a dog at your feet too! Home cooked food to that. Well I managed to reach home in a AC car paying 350Rs for 10kms, did some shopping to find out Onions have touched 100Rs per kg(!!!) and to my horror wrote in Tamil after years! Anyways, this blog is not about any of those.

Old Shoes served well!

This blog is my yearly roundup – a decade’s actually! ( has come after I ditched 2 blogs on Airports and Capitalism!) Now, let’s see. There have been just so many highs and lows that you tend to agree with the zero sum game. But if you take memories, highs win hands down! I guess it’s got to do with the people in your life. Chennai, Vellore, Bangalore, Shillong, Trichy, Mumbai – I’ve been lucky (touchwood). As I enter the new decade I will have my hopes high for the rest of my life.

New Shoes for the journey ahead

Cricketing glory is not as memorable when it is listed from a historian’s perspective. The Eden test during my 10^th board exam, the India-Pak WC encounter a day before my physics class XII board, SA’s chase of 400+ that we caught panting after running all the way from Dhaba, India’s T20 glory from my small apartment in Bangalore with friends, CSK win over RCB I saw in Bangalore stadium in IPL 1, Sachin’s 200 in Shillong common room, CSK’s IPL 3 victory in Mumbai while I was a minority supporter in my own group - you see, that makes more sense to me J India is now the number 1 test team and number 2 ODI team! Awesome decade of Indian Cricket.

Of the cities – Bangalore is a close 2nd. I guess it had to do with independence, my own bike and awesome company (pun intended). But nothing beats Chennai. Just to prove a point this is the first time in Chennai I attended Kutchery and all that too proactively J Somehow am at the juncture where I’m trying to connect back to the Chennai in its essence though all these years I’ve taken it for granted. As a traveller though I loved Chikmagalore, Gokharna, Mangalore, Bikel, Cherapunji, , Mawlyngon, Shillong and Mumbai – all made special by the people I had by my side. As Calvin says nature seems so stupid and boring without a furry friend by your side.

From a class X serious guy from a place that google earth did not show to an IIM guy from a place whose roads still don’t show on google earth the road travelled is pretty much like a road laid by the municipal department – supposedly smooth but full of holes and speed breakers. As I sit across tables with people from different periods of my life (not by any means out), I mirror the changes in/of/with time.

Paddu still speaks with sound effects, Ninja still goes all Gary, Mani still sounds all philosophical and Joe still calls me a posterior cavity. Life is good with the cards I’ve been dealt with. As I said, I’ve been lucky. Never mind the few hic-cups, wrong turns and falls that caught me unaware. Everything has played a part in making me what I am (As my friend once said “Stop blaming them”)

From a glorious time: Life is like a game of cards. You don’t always start with a royal flush. Hence it is natural that you might drop some formative sets or pass on some possible winners. But at the end if you continue on, you are definitely going to end up a winner as you are the only one playing your life.

Happy New Year to All! Entering 2011 with hopes and dreams.

Diary entry blog

2010-11-29T11:22:00.000-08:00

Dear Diary,

You know I’ve hated Diary entries, especially when it used to come as 10 marks question in Section B of English in class X. But somehow, I felt you must be remembered in the times of lost blogs and tweeple people. It would also serve to write something understandable for the benefit of anonymous commenter, who asked me to do so over maggi after my last blog.

Other than the fact that I got your spelling mixed with the milk products and that I never used to get you in the same year, I’ve never thought much of you. Probably cos thanks to all the chic flicks, diary is seen girly! Yes, I have wondered why would people blabber a lot of personal things to you. I guess It is much easier to get you to listen to one’s life story than another human being (unless you are Rakhi Sawant, in which case you get high TRP). I must tell you, some of the professors, do their life story in class holding us hostage!

After computers and laptops, lot of people have stopped writing in the conventional sense. Of course there are blogs, lengthy emails to dear ones, facebook notes and of course personal MS Word and MS Onenote. But the train of thoughts seem to go to the exhibitionist Shatabdi express (flowery words and high end) than the regular trains. Atleast for me this is true. I can’t make the good old grammatical mistakes without someone pointing it out.

Inspired by the books I read before I came to IIM, I thought I would write a book on my life at IIM that would serve as a guiding light for future people (roflmao). Well now, If I do write, it will be categorised under thriller genre (with a 18+ rating, if it can exist) with flying swear words, over the head lectures, politics, deception, scandals and not to forget mind numbing PJs! (I was just trying a movie voice over – it’s actually awesome) So much for my writing dreams!

Enough of me and writing, lets talk about you. The consultant in me (note the professional air), believes that you should reinvent yourself. The embossed leather covers are pretty much out-dated in the times of iPads and Palmtops. I saw a pretty cool evolution of your species launched by happily unmarried (cool place.. TIC stuff). To be honest that was the reason I thought I should write a diary entry.

I just imagined Barkha Dutt, Vir Sanghvi, Raja et all having diary entries that are exposed! I’m sure they have a lot of dear diary moments!

Anyways, I don’t think I will run out of people who I can bug. So I will just remember you this once. Welcome to the world of blogs.

Adios,

You’d rather not be wearing..

2010-10-31T15:50:00.000-07:00

Although it can be completed in a 100 ways and at least 70 of them would raise a few eyebrows, I’m happy writing about the remaining 30. Each paragraph has no direct relevance to the next.

Last 2 months, I’ve learnt a lot. The most important lesson being - how to shoot at someone who outdrew you. No learnt would be wrong cos then it would mean I would be able to do it. Probably it’s the effect of philosophical classes or the cynicism that loads of bullshit can give you, I never felt it was worth the public medium. But then public medium – the new age weapon for love and war and everything in between.

I remember a conversation some years back on selflessness and greater good. At that point of time, I assumed the characters in mega serials my mom watches, are extremely unreal. My point then was, there was a basic goodness in people and hence selflessness is an attribute possible. Though it was disproved within the next 6 months, I refused to change my premise. I changed my premise.

To the Ravana camp, the monkeys were vandals and Ram the enemy. I try to convince myself that I like challenges and that I’m basically good. I’m convinced and so are some. But perceptions, you can’t be accountable. I, till date can’t smile at a person who I am not comfortable with! So much for two faced!

Being opinionated is like wetting your bed. You demand your ideas be debated not dismissed, howsoever irritated you are. Well, you can cry all you want, but you are still gonna have a wet bottom if someone doesn’t change.

You need to quash a bug when its still crawling around. Let it grow and you would not be able to stop it from biting your back. Endurance is not a characteristic but a lack of option.

I remember reading in class XI the lesson called “Olympic Gold” from the autobiography of Ali. (if anyone can find a e-book of it, I would be grateful). The line I recalled was ‘It felt like being at the receiving end of a 100 punches without returning a single one’. I somehow wondered how it would be. I shouldn’t have. It feels like this blog.

To complete my sentence – “You’d rather not be wearing your emotions on your sleeve”

Of Meetings And My Scripted Life

2010-08-27T12:56:00.000-07:00

I hate long days with meetings. I always have, even as an insignificant engineer giving updates to bored managers. I wondered if my hatred had anything to do with the fact that I could have done something more productive that time. When I shared this with my colleague in office, I couldn’t get her to stop laughing! (In my defence, Calvin & Hobbes gave perspective!!) Unfortunately a management course with added responsibilities have made me grudgingly admit that meetings are a necessary evil.

Of course my opinion on meetings was not the same always. I remember vividly my first client meeting in my first job.

Engineering Internship , evening 4.30pm

R: Girish, we’ll be having a teleconf meeting with client . You will attend?

Me: YES! [wow! Meeting, I’ve always wanted to be in a meeting. I’ll kick the crap out of the teleconference] YES! [not so eager also] I mean, sure whats there.. I think I can make some time (sheepish grin)
R: (Weird look)
Meeting
Me: [Wow! I’m in a meeting.. That guy must think I’m someone important – I mean trainee, yes, but someone who is invited to the meeting.. This is so cool.. Wait till I see the expression of L when I tell.. Must make a note not to tell all the details.. Confidentiality clause and all.. He he, big words, corporate.. I am sure the guy is gonna say there’s this awesome trainee on the other end who’s real kick ass.. He he.. Maybe he would think R is ineffective and he’d ask to have all further meeting with me.. Poor R.. Has a family too..]
R: Girish, You just put whatever we discussed in a document and mail it across to me.
Me: (Shock) Pardon? The meeting is done in 15 mins? What exactly did he want?
R: (surprised) What do you mean?! You were nodding your head all through! Trainees!!

Ever since, its been a steep learning curve that I surprisingly got it right! 2 years and I’ve always managed to nod my head at the right time always. Lessons such as these (and my preconceived idea of wanting to write about it) made me wonder if life actually is a planned out script for a series.

Come to think of it, soaps are ruled out, they can’t be the script. Soaps have characters whose morals are clearly either black or white or full of sterotypes. Real life is much more interesting when it comes to the type of people you encounter. I guess sitcoms capture them the best. Be it the weird characters you encounter, admit it -they are all around us, or the moments of sweet irony that you wait for the ‘ta-da-da-da-da-da’ in the background.

It does have its advantages in making you realize some truths that you can be prepared for

a) The equation between the people is going to keep changing. The characters might be the same, but as the ‘seasons’ go by they keep trying to fall in and out of zone of comfort.

b) People who leave make guest appearances in later seasons often causing lots of confusion. (Contrast with soaps where the dead people comeback!)

c) All your characters have shades of grey including the protagonist – you. This necessarily helps the script move forward.

d) Sometimes you forget the right words but you manage. Rehearsals rarely happen and there ain’t a chance for retakes

e) The moral conflicts of the protagonist usually lead to hilarious moments. Of course not all are laughing.

It feels warm to think things in life are actually scripted towards a happy ending. As Khaled Hosseini says in Kite Runner, is there something called a happy ending in life? Every episode, every phase just moves the story forward giving you cue cards to emote. Relish, Learn and Move on.

After that thoughtful pause, I thought I’d close with a typical incident in my scripted life.

In the Flight from Kolkata to Hyderabad which had a total of 10 passengers.

Air Hostess: Sir, would you mind sitting in the seat over the wings? It is a safety precaution.

Me: huh?? safetyyyy? hmmmm sure, I guess..
AH: Sir, I need to explain to you the emergency procedure for opening the door.. .. keep looking out the window during take off and landing for fire..
Me: (nodding the head all the while) Ah.. Is that what they call “flight risk”? (grin)
AH: (blank state.. walks away muttering something under her breath)
Me: [Emergency! Did she say emergency? Oh God! What if.. FIRE!?? She said fire. Wow, this is exciting and scary.. This is something I’m prepared for.. I’ve been prepared for such a situation right from UKG when the English teacher made me monitor.. I’ve just got to pull.. but what if the handle won’t drop down.. God, I should have gone to the gym more regularly.. Maybe to reduce a bit of flab too.. Hey, the plane has started taxiing.. Ok, outside the window.. hey, the metal part on the wing is moving, should I ask the air hostess to check? It seems like the wings are shaking, I bet the planes are made in China.. Just pull.. deep breath.. pull………………………………………………]
AH: Sir, Sir.. Hope you had a pleasant flight. We’ve landed in Hyderabad.
Me: I Slept!?!

Knot my cup of coffee

2010-07-27T05:39:00.000-07:00

After the pox kind of ‘chickened’ out and the PGP decided to try their luck in killing me with the class schedule, only now could I come up with a title punny enough to make me write. Well, that and the fact that few of my friends got engaged/married/committed recently. In addition to that I want huge quantities of coffee (that would increase the PAT of Nestle’s Nescafe division) to help me survive the week ahead!

Ever since I saw Raavan, I have been toying with the idea of marriage as an extension of Stockholm Syndrome. No, I’m not exactly someone who goes around cracking marriage jokes or make fun of louuu but the idea kind of seemed to hold some appeal. When 2 of my good friends got engaged (not married), I asked what changed now? And for some reason the response was something like there’s no going back now! In the Indian value system (not picked up from TMI, will talk later) the marriage is taken seriously and for all optimism that goes with it, it is a lifelong contract. You break out of marriage and unlike the US where your status is “available-again” (Hey Angelina Jolie and Bradd Pitt might be available soon!) the Indian society tags you with a “divorcee”. Now here I need to make it clear, I’m not thinking too pessimistically :)

So, thinking a bit more objectively and trying to follow the value system, you want to be ‘sure’ that the person you want to spend the rest of your life with is someone whom you are not gonna have a problem with for not retuning a couple of calls or for forgetting to get the milk in the morning! How do you test that? Isn’t it more a, I know too geeky, but a function of time? Relationships evolve with situations, what the OB guys call critical incidents. So a guy might remember the days his wife went late to her office to accommodate his board meetings and a wife might remember the early morning bed coffees he used to so lovingly make. They also evolve with bad things, like the time the guy cracked a mother-in-law joke with his peers or the lady cribbed how the guy never bothered about if the house is clean. But come-on, even the fin guys out here couldn’t anticipate events in future and based on their best guess prepare ‘pro-forma’ sheets! So in their language, the terminal growth rate is actually the after marriage love :P

So, given the risks involved, your arranged marriage seems more of a risk than your love marriage ain’t it? Actually, I agree am no expert, but the love marriage kind of cuts down the time to ‘court’, the fun part of finding out stuff about your parent’s recommendation that is the most colourful part. Again, u like it or not, the cycle sets in of making adjustments given the terms of the contract. And hence is born a ‘love’ so different from the love before marriage.

I feel a bit old talking about marriage, but then guys my age are actually getting married! For the female friends of mine, whose families should be sent to capture Dawood, given their search expertise, wish they have the most fun in the courting part :) As for me, it depends on the time like 4 years from now and the people in my life then.

Coming to the coffee part of it. Although I can connect this to my previous topic, I won’t. After I wrote about GJC, readers of my blog (yes, u 6 :P) have kind of come to the conclusion I’m an addict. Strangely, I’m like a camel when it comes to coffee. (no, I do not store it in my hump) I can go without coffee for days together (months together when I had a bet), if I can’t get a good coffee! For all the guys and girls who are giggling at the statements, I mean the one made with caffeine.

Thanks to a schedule that runs from 9 to 8 every day followed by cases and articles to read, coffee has been a lifeline more than a fad. The only solace has been the TMI (Technology Management and Innovation) course that has almost got the entire batch scurrying to read the articles so they can participate in the class discussions (not DP). I’ve run out of superlatives to describe the course and the discussions on twitter. And its not just me.

In some ways, the sickness, recovery and more sickness kinda situations have made me kind of numb to expectations from people – both ways. But then I never gave a damn most times anyway. And so here’s wishing myself luck to the world of coffee, marriage and cynicism (hopefully in that order) :P

Chicken Soup for the Veggie Soul

2010-07-10T22:16:00.000-07:00

I feel like James Bond. Undercover, having things shaken not stirred and women checking me out and saying “Hot”! And the rest of the story is the other dialogues that go with it like, “You need another blanket?”, “How many times have you had that syrup?” and “Shit, he needs another paracetamol!” As i manage to sit up after 2 days with my laptop open, I think a brief update is in order.

I’ve been struck by the cowardly disease that sounds like socks (thank God it doensn’t smell like) and it couldn’t have chosen a wrong timing. Fifa worldcup finals! Knowing the Fucchas! My 24th birthday! Work (ahem)! For all those of you who are doing an “awwwwww”- its ok people, shit happens. I’ll clarify at my own pace. As i always say, its a matter of perspective :)

Ever since I read the Christmas Carol in class XI (awesome English book for CBSE), I had until recently, the image of some ghost (A bearded ghost with a tuxedo) showing me clips from my past, my present and future. Until recently was cos, recently i saw the movie Ghost of Girlfriends Past and it gave new fears :P Anyways, as the doctor wrote down “to be kept in isolation” after confirming my fear , i couldn’t help recall the images painted by ghosts of Christmas future and was rethinking a few of my I-don’t-give-a-damn outbursts.

Shillong is a small and beautiful place. And i’ve been given a room in our institute guest house with a beautiful view and it seems almost like a resort. Well almost is true, cos I haven’t done much but sleep or stare out the window or raise fuss – much more like an asylum, while the Hellboy signs show up and bringing down the standard of my PJs. (for those of you who want to clear their throats at this point, a nice warm hug from me!)

I can’t believe the westerners call India, the land of superstitions, when the entire attention before every match of the FIFA WC is on an octa pedal squishy thingy that has no clue about football. Seriously if squids were to play football they’ll be yellow carded for fouls on themselves! And yet, it has been accurate so far in this WC. My heart broke to see the Germans go down to an out of form Spain. Or thats probably the reason why i couldn’t see the match! With sucky streaming and the effect of the dosage, while Spain slowly eroded Germany, I was sleeping my way to glory. Now that Germans have squashed Uruguay, I know i want Spain to win the trophy, but that match according to me befit the final.

As for my 24th birthday, ppl had trouble believing it was my 24th, it was made better thanks to the stream of calls and teaser party at 12 by the awesome 66. Of course my fairy tale memories for the day seem more like pages out of Sleeping beauty, snow white and whichever tale that involves sleeping. (My parents thought Panchatantra made more sense for me and so i had to catch the others a bit later on Zee! Does anyone remember the Zee or Jain TV’s tales from across the globe?) Small highs and state on unconsciousness made the lows seem far away. Oh a special mention of the toast i got from the chocolate boy of Awesome 66. Without the adjectives used – my blog, my pjs and the earlier said i-don’t-give-a-damn outbursts were mentioned and i was gloating :D

Since my blogs are already pretty long, here’s me cutting it short by mentioning some of the people who are integral to me striding through. Firstly my guardian angels – Sreethala and Priyanka – Thank God they got it before me. Followed by Samita, Sai Garu, Veena, Abha and Esha who think it is better to share updates, gossips and cruel judgements about people here in the ‘isolation’ place than in a party full of people :) A generic thanks to the Awesome 66 and my profs for the best wishes. As i have said before, I consider myself lucky.

Here’s me saying “te deseo lo mejor” to Spain. (courtesy: the Spanish Dictionary)

Dawned!

2010-07-01T13:28:00.000-07:00

I had a discussion with a friend of mine about how blogs tell you much more about the writer than they ever intend to reveal. A blog is more like the wardrobe malfunction for models. So, when I decided to write this blog, when am terribly unhappy about certain happenings and feel let down, probably cos I expected where i had no right expecting, I guess, I know the consequences. Reading it as a continuation of my Lessons from my life blog is too early.

Being a manager is a hierarchical thing. Being a leader is a long process. But being a pain in the posterior is not that tough. However for the pain to be taken seriously and allowed to sustain, say like an injection for a disease, u need to have a context. Even if you are convinced it is essential, it does not cease to be a pain! I know without context this seems much like Confusious’s worldly wisdom, but i am starting to believe Confusious, Aristotle and the likes were mere mortals who saw deeply into life due to certain blessed souls :P

Power is perceived. If today Himesh Reshammiya can still churn out movie after movie of his own howling and still make statements as to how he is undefeatable, that is cos he thinks he is in a position of power thanks to the audience who look for an empty ac hall to sit to beat the heat. When someone can perceive power, so can they perceive powerlessness. People go to great lengths to make believe the other person is powerless. Silence is not always the sign of the weak.

Belief and intent have nothing to do with the outcome. Raavan is a beautiful movie (I loved it), but that does not mean it is going to be a blockbuster movie. Mani Sir, needs to be content with himself for the audience it was intended for liked it. Just because a movie critic doesn’t get it, there is no point in trying to convince him. Number of people who agree to an idea is inconsequential if the relevant few don’t! Does not again mean the idea is irrelevant.

Perception is overrated. Related to the previous point, it makes for a mask that makes Jim Carrey look professional! But do we want to know people without their masks? Can’t we let them wear it? Cos underneath most is an ugly face. No, this is not like Shilpa Shetty without makeup. Once you know the true face, it doesn’t seem worth it, to try to manage their perception about you.

For all the people, who couldn’t make head or tail of it, the gist of it – Its a bad bad world. If you are straight (in all means), life ain’t easy! :D

Mumbai – Memories

2010-06-06T18:48:00.000-07:00

After a blog that made as much sense to people as an Organizational Behaviour session on paradigm shift, I am back to cat-rat-bat writing.

My stint at Mumbai comes to an end today and I know the entire Mumbai chapter is going to play in front of my eyes much like a sitcom end! You can see the obvious positives and negatives, what could have beens and the people. The image of Mumbai I will carry is from Maratha Mandir where we watched DDLJ in its 758th week. Not that of conniving taxi drivers or scheming businessmen, but of romantics who cheer for Raj against Kuljeet, who plead Bavji to leave Simran, who grin when Simran sings “Chodo ji chodo, ab gaooge kya gaana” in antakshri, who hum (humming kind hum) tujhe dekha to yeh everytime the background score appears. And at the end of the movie we were all grinning! You can’t take bollywood (or kollywood or any wood) out of Indians

I encountered some of the best people i could hope to meet, here in this city. These people, I hope, unlike Ogden Nash’s hoped hopen, will not be just leaf in the book but the storyline itself. As Karan says in Hum Tum – “jitney choti ya lambi kyun na ho, humari koi kahani hogi zaroor”. Thanks to IIT DC++, I watched some of my old favourite movies again.

I need to make a mention of my luck with bosses. I’ve had people who have been extremely objective and a lot patient. Including my colleague, when people tell me, I’m a manager’s nightmare, I can’t help but gloat. My exit interview was probably the best learning about myself where the feedbacks were bang-on and constructive. Hope my luck continues (atleast at the corporate level!) As Woody Allen says in Match point “The man who said ‘I’d rather be lucky than good’ saw deeply into life”

The last one week in Mumbai, found me and my friend roaming the roads of Mumbai (not the tourist way). Mumbai heat is quite unforgiving! So when our prime food became ganne ka juice and vada/samosa pav, I was taking a thrill in such a living. There was a vibe that was just there, not the connectable one, but it is more like the feeling of a surgeon doing an open heart surgery, holding the beating heart in his hand. Ok, that was too much. I was just waiting for an AC room to get into where I can dry off, complaining – but in retrospect seemed more revealing! As Woody Allen says “Life is understood only backwards. It is only the movement that is forward”

These two months for me are not way different from my days at Bangalore, Shillong or Chennai. Seen the best and worst of emotions, hung around ice cream shops way after midnight, lived on 7Rs samosas and 8Rs Paratas, haunted the IIT campus in groups talking nonstop nonsense, caught the IPL finals and enjoyed the uncertainty of reaching back, gave gyan to people with brilliant potential, listened to gyan from people who thought I had brilliant potential, captured every tourist’s imagination, formed gangs out of thin air, toiled hard, grinned while toiling, opened up a bit, bit my tongue a lot, owned coffee house(s), found new places to love, new people to love, committed mistakes, realized mistakes, pointed out mistakes... (Tried out the voiceover of some ad that I can’t place – Mastercard?) OSO style - "Picture abhi baaki hai mere dost!"

As I was telling my friend yesterday, everything kind of comes down to “at-the-end-of-the day”. My Mumbai has too many memories – nostalgic and otherwise too. As i bid adieu to this place (for now atleast) I loved my time here, although it was not the city that I connected with. People make the city and I’m glad I had the people I had. I wouldn’t change anything about the last two months, not one frame!

I can be your Hero!

2010-05-21T01:58:00.000-07:00

Okay, the imagery that it brings to me is a Saturday morning at IIM Shillong with me trying to block out this song rendered with all passion by my friend, with a misnomer of a name, from the bathroom, unaware of the efforts of mine to sleep longer! Fan of your singing, buddy! :)

Imagery apart, the spark for this piece came from the by now famous cancer patient about whom Sachin tweeted! Sachin, the little master, “God”, the Great – words that we use without a second thought. Such love, such passion and such emotions - that surge up much like a shaken up can of coke from most Indians at his sight! To me, a fan of his cricket, he is on his way to becoming a hero. Because in this country a hero is above mortals, a person infallible and for whom vices donot exist and the believers are going to give their blind devotion and love so unselfish.

I remember a couple of years ago, me and my roomie in Bangalore had a discussion about religions and stories. What stopped a king, who was a obedient son, to have his wife kidnapped and then fight a battle to get her back? (Am super excited by Raavan btw) And add to that he was a mortal who asked to prove her "purity" before taking her back? What stopped a shepherd who sees the people fighting to say its cool not to fight and live in harmony? I’m not talking against beliefs, but I’m talking about our love for heroes.

What’s the fun in telling a kid there is no Santa Clause? Or as Chandler does, telling a kid he is adopted? :P I can point out 100 politicians! But somehow there is this void wherein we are not ready to accept the people for what they are. If we love them for their actions, we tend to try to love them overlooking the shortcomings, thus raising them above the lot! I’m talking only about heroes here. But somehow that trend, though is inconsequential, is not fair I guess. Cos in some cases, the other ppl wake up to the reality and either go thru the phases of denial, anger etc or hate. All this no fault of the guy/girl we chose to judge. Take Dhoni’s case for instance!

Speaking of heroes, superheroes are getting more and more real! Ironman with his narcissist wit (awesome), Batman who is battling his own demons(amazing), Spiderman who is in his own web (yuck), superheroes are becoming more relatable atleast with their problems.I remember the scene from Pyar ke side effects where Ranvir shorey and co discuss why superheroes can’t be married! Rofl scene.

It is fine for people who have borne the burden of being an hero (to the masses) to bare their life and lead a life of irrational expectations. What makes it worth it is after your time, your faults would be totally forgotten and only the fame remains. Who knows, you can end up being a God! Two relevant quotes from Batman – “It is not who you are but what you do that defines you” and “You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain”.

Oh on a corollary,if you hate a person, whatever they do, even if they are reaching out to help, people tend to take offense. (You there, you know who and what I’m talking about :P) – Sorry this was like a msg in the bottle (I want to do a public infomercial). I guess it is upto us to respect the actions and ideas separately from the person. So if Sachin is tweeting about a cancer patient, so are 1000s of people everyday! Lets be a bit more open minded and reduce the burden on our heroes. Tough to believe - but they are in fact human :)

Mumbai Musings

2010-04-26T01:40:00.000-07:00

Ok, Enough is enough. Without a net connection at hostel, I’ve put off writing the craziness of this city as seen thru my crazy perspective. Ladies and Gentlemen, Mumbai is every romantic’s love sonnet and every paranoid’s adrenaline rush. To a management student like me it is, simply put, theory of constrains :P

First thing that catches your attention here is the people bulging out of every space that is ever available. This is far far bigger than Bangalore but every inch of the space is competed for! More like a fat lady in a corset (God! What’s with me and similes today?!) And the pulse of the city, though every 2nd rate author to 1st rate bloggers have already referred to it. I know 1.30 in the night, I will reach my destination in a crowded bus with company. A city, I might not prefer for the long haul of my life, but am super excited about the short term here!

3 weeks here already and so much we have done! When I say we, i include the gang from IIM Shillong (PGP09 Mumbai Chapter), my team from internship and my split personality (the one who works). Not a weekends has gone where we have not taken in the Mumbai heat in our efforts to discover this city. Thanks to a guy who hasn’t been to a beach ever before we’ve hit almost all the major beaches in Mumbai, including the Priyanka Chopra (my pulse picked up a notch) starrer Aksa Beach! I must say its by far the cleanest beach here in Mumbai and thankfully a lot less crowded. Ferry ride, elephant caves, the gateway, malls, chat shops, HN – check!

Food in this city, as my friend says, u can find costly or cheap but never bad. However coffee has been a bit of let down here. Until recently when i discovered, thanks to my boss, Gloria Jean’s Coffee! Staying close to Hirnanandani at IIT Powai, I’ve discovered a few pleasures that are going to pinch my purse i guess. After a few coaxing sessions to get people there, I kind of realize not everybody is crazy about a good coffee as me. So today morning I hit a new high :D On a Sunday morning, I woke up at 7, took a book to GJC and settled down with a hot steaming Cappuchino! The view from this place is awesome and I’ve been grinning ever since that!

Oh and ya, now finally for the kicker. Watched the IPL Finals live in DY Patil Stadium!! :D :D and making it hyper-awesome is the fact that CSK ARE THE CHAMPIONS! Live performances and the arrangement was gala to say the least! Although we were the minority by a great margin, somehow we managed to have our voices heard. I wanted Sachin to play and so awesomely he did. So a totally awesome result :) Though travel did bite us pretty much and I felt discriminated against for the first time by the locals, I will let it pass. Anyways this i think will be the end of the IPL as we know it. With more games being played off the field, I fear IPL will become more of a monstrosity that is loathed with a few corporate houses going broke. Only time will tell.

I have just completed 3 weeks here. 6 more to go and in a way i think i will be counting the time left. Not that I don’t like the place, but somehow I don’t feel the connect. I felt it in Bangalore. I feel it in Shillong. Here, this city, it scares me a bit. I love it much like a crush on a teacher for a 10 year old – It’s nice and exciting but you know it would not work out. Some brilliant people I have met and am learning at every turn – by mistakes or otherwise. McD.

Managerial lessons from life

2010-03-26T07:14:00.000-07:00

Home is a good place to be. Hot, humid and stuffy, but this is the place i love the most! As i sit this sunny afternoon with filter coffee in hand and Binny curled up beside me I can’t help but reflect what my one year in IIM has taught me. Let me assure you, more than the books and the coursework, if I were to run my firm tomorrow i’d need to learn a lot more from everyday life.

Informal Groups Implode:
This is something i’ve come to realise over time after being part of several groups. Whenever there is no structure or defined roles, the interests of individuals serve towards the least number. So you notice one by one people keep getting cut out (sometimes the others don’t even notice), till there are core 2-3 ppl who have issues with each other. It becomes putting up and looking for a new group. Its not a cynical view. Its just nature. That’s why probably boyfriends and girl friends break up while married couple try to at least resolve conflicts before the D word.

If someone thinks their group is rock solid, think how many were initially part of the group, how many issues you find with other members and you will realise its a matter of time. You need a structure to hold things in place. That way despite the turbulence, the group finds footing.

This is essential for a manager to know. Cos all this bunch of friends just starting a firm without defined roles and designation is not gonna do a world of good. Lok Paritran is a perfect example.

Stepping on Egos is worse than dog tail:
Somehow, when you work at the lower end of the hierarchy, there is a sense of fraternity feeling. Fellow sufferers type. However when you are a manager or for that matter in position of power, you got to deal with fragile egos and flailing power centres, one of which is probably yours. Now when you have to step on egos, you better be wearing a ballet shoe so that you at least land gracefully.

When someone tells you, you can be frank with me, the fact is you can’t be! When there is power involved people behave like 3 year olds who want a toy. They see no rhyme nor reason and to them its all about ingratiating their egos. Unfortunately, I learnt it the hard way. With an equally reactive ego, I decided its better to let the actions speak than direct confrontations.

Best friends make business decisions tough:
I read this Direct from Dell, where he invariable calls his customers, clients and colleagues by name. He never calls them his friends. This is not something that we would be willing to listen to, but think about it. How often can we out rightly say a no?

We had the head of Wacker Chemicals (a German) talking to us. He said “Indians – they just want to please the other person. So they say a yes, cos they think it is impolite to say a no.” A lot of the batch got pissed when he said that, but ultimately its the truth. With friends you can argue, but whenever it comes to a face off, you put the friendship on line. We cannot be professional to friends, without stepping on egos!

Tomorrow if i have to start a business I would want likeminded people but not my best friends. Now let me tell you, that in itself, will be a point of contention if I had not known my friends.

Resisting change has causality count:
When change was first discussed in class, I realized I have always viewed change as a forced response to the environment. One of my blogs a year back carried a comment that said “show me one change hater who has survived”. I understood organizations were proactively introducing change and I think this we do in our life as well.
I noticed that whenever I feel cramped up, I do something to my appearance. So when I shaved off my French beard (that caused a batch mate of mine to choke on her food), I was just trying to incorporate a change I’m responsible for. Without sifting through jargons, I’d say change is better if you are the one who is bringing it.

Timing is everything:
Though its easier said than done and befit my PJs, I think this is something that is crucial that life teaches you. Starting from your first love to the your driver’s licence everything is in a hurry! People are not able to appreciate the event in their hurry to move on. This is not about the patience, but knowing the right time.
Having said that, I’d also want to be foolish – to not stick to timelines, have secret crushes, flirt a bit, but know when to stop. I’m not that mature yet.

The most trivial thing i had in mind is the freshers in management. Most of my best friends are freshers, but I feel, its not the knowledge you gain with work ex, but the experience of being managed in an organization that gives you a perspective of what goes through your employee’s mind. No doubt these guys would be good managers, but the empathy component might be a bit less. Having said that, it would work out pretty well if you are to be a results oriented manager.

Good is not good for everybody:
Thanks to Abra, the awesome 66 know the above statement as a joke. But just because your intentions are noble, your acts can’t be. People give a lot of crap about ethics and morals and values, but if you have to be taught that in class, I think there’s something not so right with the business world or with your value system. Its not always like a Madhur Bhandarkar movie. The tip for the manager is that at the end of the day do no job that can take away your sleep ( i mean the conscience part)

Pensiveness is not a new friend to me. With Binny trying to draw attention towards him by nudging my laptop, I think I’ve written things that not a lot of people would agree with. But I guess, these are my actual learning and i will hold onto them until proved otherwise. I know I can never be a manager who can sign the epitaph of anybody with a deal. And I don’t want to learn to be either.

I don’t dream to be a great manager or the powerful CEO, but to make my small world of loved ones happy and in the process do my bit for the people around me. Hope the tide of time or the 2nd year of PGP doesn’t change me (or i decide to be proactive).

Oh btw, Thank you Rana, for the HTML template tip on blogger :D

Catching up

2010-03-17T06:07:00.000-07:00

The problem with not updating blogs regularly is that you lose out on the fizz of giving unwanted details to uninterested people! Well, to be frank I wanted to update the blog like 4-5 times since my last blog, all enthusiastically jumping, causing minor landslides. But now here I go on to the précis writing part much like John Abrahams emotional scenes.

Last Sunday, I went for the football match between Lajong FC and East Bengal iLeague match. What an atmosphere! Add to the fact that Lajong is the home team and IIM Shillong is providing management consultancy to the team. IIM Shillong rocks!! (that’s me smoothly doing PR) Coming back to the match, though our group of 17 were subdued on the cheering level, busy scouting for food - given we missed lunch and posing for photos, the atmosphere around us rocked! We had kids not taller than 3 feet swearing at the referee who didn’t give a free kick! To top it, the home team won 1-0 and we came back gloating, attributing their victory to our presence there.

The most colourful day of year, I ended up looking unrecognizable and unimaginably dirty! I come from that part of the country, where on holi, you mom scolds you for even thinking of going out to play. But let me tell you this is a slightly more decent than in my last year of VIT where people tore clothes and ran across the campus! The insti sportingly allowed us to play holi and thanks to our student bodies, we ended up making people who have never played before regret not playing for so long! Now, I can put this on paper(webpage) that in probably no other insti do you chase a prof to put colour nor does a faculty member drench your group in a bucket of water! What do i say, we rock! (yet another subtle move) Oh and awesome food! I love this festival.

Oh incidentally, since i wrote the 2nd paragraph, i’ve been to yet another Lajong match, this time wearing jerseys and posing for photographs sponsored by institute!! Plan to go again this week now that i’ve completed one year in PGPM! Yayyy. Go Lajong Go!! Of course my work is not done yet and so am in Shillong more busy than I ever was in Office! (ok, i know my office colleagues laugh when i say i was busy – just efficient ok??)

A note that we have to vacate the room, managed to stun me. Not the leaving the room bit, but the fact that I have clean the stuff out of this room. I’ve managed to maintain a 4 degree separation between everything i need on my table that makes it easier for me to find stuff (ahem). In office I had my friend who in all her excitement, used to talk to herself and clean up my table to make place to sit :P Too bad not many selfish people are around here (not exactly)

You know how they say pressure makes you see what people really are made of? In times of secret identities, edgy bosses, crying maidens and winning KKR (buhahaha), I believe I’m happy with the way most things have worked out. Although there have been times where I was willing to believe a proctologist doesn’t have to encounter so many s per day as I have to, a mild pat on our backs for riding through. And here I bear witness to the first rains of Shillong which incidentally is hail. Tiny pearls of ice glistening on the wet mud with the intoxicating smell - life is hectic but good.

Looking forward to getting my job done, going home and my Internship with people I’m looking forward to meet (in that order)!

You've been Tweeped!

2010-02-09T12:55:00.000-08:00

I know being in a B School and following the social trends, twitter is considered the next big thing in new age marketing and communication. If i’m giving case recommendations i’ll surely write a line about new age social media marketing etc.

Personally though Twitter for me hasn’t been a pleasant ground. First up, the philosophy is not so sound. I know it gives you a sense of self importance to announce to all the people ‘following’ you what u are doing. Assuming they take it without questioning your statements. But seriously why was a Mr.Jack Bruntz following me till i blocked him? What prolific bit of information would i share that would mean salvation to his dark soul. Someone sharing my sentiments :D

RT @anupamachopra : Is Twitter, to quote VF mag,"extreme narcissism or nifty real-time reporting"

Barring philosophical constraints, it is kinda cruel to newbies I feel. I learnt it the hard way. I mean, if I were to compile all my tweets and responses here, it would make for the next book of Sidin! Who btw has marketed his book Dork all the way on twitter :D (ordered it on flipkart and got an autographed one)

Back to point, no one gives out the rules and terms anywhere on the site. So when I wished Priyanka Chopra to have a safe journey on her trip to Mauritius, was kind of clueless that every one (in Pareto style, the 20% who make fun of you 80% of the time) would be made aware of it! So after the initial excitement of msging a celebrity, heart throb at that, ended up feeling that the average intelligence of my room increases when i’m not there(including desks, chairs and the dumped clothes on the chair!).

Now when, Mr.Shashi Tharoor and co haven’t learnt much except that of the taste of feet from twitter, I wonder what is in it for you if you are to be extremely guarded in expressing yourself? I know no one cares, what i’m tweeting, but when u are expected to say something gr8, something witty etc, its simple PR activity. Things you learn from twitter, especially from the IPeople (Apple ishtyle), are kind of worth as interesting as Rakhi’s swayamvar part 2! (By God, Rakhi!!)
I know i’m going to shamelessly tweet this new blog and set it as a SM. At the end of the day, its all about a sense of perceived self importance that decides to ignore one’s call for attention. I’m sure Rakhi agrees with me. Its people like her and SJ Surya who give the rest of us normal people some amount of optimism in life – if these people can be celebrities, nothing is impossible! :P So much for political correctness!

With work load trying to deep six us all early and power cuts at night to make things interesting, blogging is one way to use up your battery backup. Tweeting is another!

PS: Happy Birthday to Ms.Pandit! The warm person to the feverish (God bless) and the cool person to the tweet world :)

Differentiating Discontinuity

2010-01-27T04:35:00.000-08:00

The one advantage of a long break from blogging is that you can get away with a title that is irrelevant to the content of the blog :D

A lot happened since my last blog. Chronologically skipping the painful parts is a good enough structure to ramble with some amount of coherence.

When, a day before the last exam, you come to know that there is going to be a state level strike the day u are supposed to leave for home after 6 months what do you do? Well rationally most ppl start discussing arrangements, but as a batch we decided we should party one day earlier! Invigilator walked into the exam hall to find “Give me some sunshine” being played on the system and ppl singing and dancing along – all this before the exam! :D (Now take that CBSE, who cancelled class X exams due to pressure on students!)Of all ironies the bandh got cancelled and we left on the day initially planned cos the vehicles we arranged for the previous day got cancelled too! :O

After a nightout followed by an eventful journey – home! By God, it felt like i was never away at all. You know how you promise to all the ppl that you will meet when you come home? Of the 16 out of 20 days i spent in Chennai, I kept around 30% of the promises (10% of them official)! In contrast my Bangalore trip was unbelievably productive! Much like Blitzkreig, I planned to meet 18 ppl in 2 days and met 26 ppl and came back. Ops ppl might say it was scheduled below capacity, but i say to them – as Elsevier says the hallmark of quality is to exceed high expectations! :P (showing off I’m majoring in operations by googling the quote) Mom’s cooking, pampering and pampered by my dog, catching up movies and series my bro had downloaded and bugging dad with some stray eco concept – life seemed so awesome!

One high point of my mostly placid holidays was my visit to my old office. You know how you expect things to have changed totally and u find, much like the mega serials, nothing much actually has happened over the 6 months. Reactions varying from “Don’t tell me you’re back!!” to “Good to have you back”, oblivious to the fact that I had a visitor tag were ignorable given the high point was my old team’s warm welcome. One Kodak moment – spoiled only by Joe hitting me on the head for calling her old :P But in this changing world, it was a pleasant thought to know some ppl do not change (although it is just 6 months- touchwood).

Back to college, reality’s beckoning, its the same drill. 1/3rd manager, you get used to the pressure and staring at stuff you have no clue what it is all about and then finally coming up with a few generic statements as solutions. Levels of reasoning are becoming more and more inventive.( Why take this cost? Cos nothing in this world is free!!)

Oh ya, went on the David Scott trail! 30 people on 16kms of trek through scenic locales, mountains, streams and PGP09 rocked as usual. All trekking enthusiasts should try this once. Not for the difficulty (Gokharna was by far more tough), but you get all kind of trails. The ‘pristine village’ on the top of the hills floored us when we realised these ppl communicate in flawless English! Someone from the batch asked whats so great about walking in the sun, panting like a dog, when u know you could as well have taken a car or for that matter slept late. I guess we do it for the sense of achievement, the 5 seconds you get when u see the speeding ambassador with the drive spitting out of the window after 3.5 hours of trek!

Oh and out of sync i forgot to do my new year ritual of doing a performance appraisal of the last year. 2009 wasn’t so bad given the influx of new people, new place and a visit home. I guess I have to do it in detail with the designated person :) Hopefully 2010 is a good year for all.

Now that I have filled in about my period of absence, I can move on knowing the past is safely chronicled. Someone told me in a not so polite manner sometime back why I can’t stop making statements with multiple meanings. Since it was followed by certain anatomical references, I chose to ignore. Maybe they had a point :D

Titleless

2009-12-08T05:41:00.000-08:00

Amidst all the so called “stress” different people behave differently. Some take up the challenge and perform exceedingly well, some decide to sit and crib about it, some give up and a few like me decide to ignore it. Hence when the morning of a term paper presentation when groups went around swearing at the group members for not formatting or collating, I was looking thru my old photographs. (My Group had completed it thanks to one guy’s awesomeness)

I can’t help but recall and relive small moments that made me human. This is like the last episode of scrubs where things run thru your mind painting a picture of all the happy and sad moments that now seems so desirable. I had read in a couple of autobiographies or B-school books that all the protagonists go thru this phase. To quote from a movie “In your life you can either be the hero or the side character. If in your life u can’t be the hero, where else can you be?”

School, home, idealness and exploratory conversations – all seem too far away from here. Now you attribute them to be kiddish, but somehow they seem so ‘safe’. I’d love the unaccountability, the sameness of the ppl around, the mock fights, the unsaid crushes and doting teachers. I’d want those moments where i stay up at night to chat with friends, roam around on the roads on cycle and fear dad’s scolding for the same. I’d want ppl, who are no longer alive, to worry about me feeling bad before telling me to study.

I had probably the most rosy college life. I know everyone feels the same way, but mine was like pages out of those Disney books, lively and colourful and so far away from reality. But it was blissful, even amidst the “Garrrryyyyyyyy” and other expletives that i seriously miss at times (maybe not the expletives). Wonderful people, nurtured bonds, petty fights, flirt sessions, long walks, serious counselling, night out sessions, philosophical bakars, leg pulling sessions.. What life!

Somehow the corporate life was ‘lovelier’ probably cos of my frame of mind. I was blessed with a team that eventually had 3 important ppl in my life. An apartment i could call home, roomies who made it seem so, friends who always understood the touch of professionalism.. Gave me a bit of grown up feeling that seemed so different from college but at the same time more confident. Bringing smile on your parent’s face with all seemingly grown up decisions and activities, I loved the independence.

Now, well, things aren’t bad at all.. In fact it is one of the most challenging times I’ve faced and hence naturally the crest and trough of emotions. An awesome gang, a good understanding with each and a great bit of peer learning. Whole lot of bakar. Moments – the good, the bad and the ugly accumulate and all it takes is the expectation of something to give to unsettle you. Rattled nerves and deluge of situations. Mistakes from past revisited, repeated and repented.

Can’t wait to get home. As they say, away from the maddening crowd.

Out Cold and Not so Loving It!

2009-11-27T11:31:00.000-08:00

After exhausting all the bad puns like getting cold feet, receiving cold shoulders and giving me the shivers, i decided to explain my first real winter in Shillong. For a normal guy from Chennai whose only definition of winter is to keep the fan at speed 4 instead of 5 - 2 room heaters, gloves, socks, cap etc is an overkill of some magnitude. Its 2-3 degrees in the night and 10-11 in the day. I can imagine all the log in US smirking “dude, you call that winter?” but let me assure you, people who have seen 0 of Delhi say this is worse.

What about the winter, I have a problem with, i wonder. I guess the answer is a long list. The fact that we have to wake up before 9 for class, fact that it gets dark at 4pm, fact that u just can’t stay awake, fact that u can’t walk around the campus without being covered in truckloads of clothing and swearing under your breath, trying not to shiver in front of specimens of the opposite sex – its seriously not so fun. To compound that, a problem probably that shouldn’t be mentioned here, but having to contemplate “doing your duty” in the evening time for the fear of ice cold water....

As very philosophically I observe, every cloud has a silver lining; its the gold digger who is disappointed by that. Amidst all this while I’m all cuddled up under the rajai with the laptop actually on my lap top, can’t help but think of the positives. Like the frequency of baths – just once a day is sufficient! (this is for all my classmates). An excuse to laze around without a reason. And how can i forget the oh so beautiful winter foliage of trees that are completely pink!! This place is beautiful.

You know, its not helping..I surrender. I just went out to get a book and i was squirming like a 3rd std kid who had a full bladder. Till two weeks ago, while the ppl from rest of India were wearing jerkins and sweaters, we south Indians were the studs walking around in T-shirts. Now u should see us :D Give me hot, burn the place down, call it hell, I would be just fine. But cold and to that assignment deadlines, talk of limits.

I now dread to think I’ll have to prepare for 9 exams on a trot in 2 week’s time in this cold after which, Oh wait! I’d be flying home! Yo Chennai! I miss you :( More so after I read the 2 states. Nice book. Loved it and was able to relate to most parts :D Guess we are like that only! Wonder how tough it would be to convince my parents for a punjabi girl.. :P

PS: Just wondering.. noone in mind :).

Talk about fairness

2009-11-18T07:11:00.000-08:00

Every time I faced a situation that warranted saying “This is not fair”, i would get back a prompt reply from any corner that says “Who said life is fair?” It never used to answer the question but it seemed an extremely calming reply. Like blaming politicians, Government, population, terrorism and now recently recession for anything and everything that goes wrong at the micro level. Somehow it is built into the system to take it in our stride i guess.

But at times, situations arise that will push to the limit like a Roadies task with Raghu in it. In all this corporate mist, there is an often over hyped but undervalued concept called honesty, sincerity etc that everyone stresses but no one bothers about. I mean i can imagine a prisoner’s dilemma problem with 2 really honest thieves that will always arrive at the dominant solution all the time. But in reality there ain’t much impetus for such ‘vices’ is there? I mean this is not the honesty that does the entire assignment days in advance and presenting the facts. No one ever does that!

2 years in my ‘corporate life’ (my ex-colleagues would jump up at this), i made friends. Professionalism to me atleast dealt more with being a straight shooter, probably choosing your words, but getting the point across. That is probably the reason I can still call them up one odd weekend and discuss their new car or marriage plans. But situations change, where shitload is all that is ever dumped on u for things u do and things u don’t do and to top it all u get penalized for your stupidity in believing in such stuff as fairness.

While i sound like the beaver (??) in Ice age who has lost his acorn again, it registers on me that it is all an srk movie dialogue of two paths etc etc. Somehow, at the moment though, i don’t see much logic in all the shit that needs to be taken over such outdated concepts. Perhaps it is high time to put a for sale sign over soul?

Talking of fairness, i got reminded of one of the gems. At some point of time 6 months back, 3 of us guys were discussing girls.
P1: “Which one is .......? Is she the fair one?”
P2: “I don’t know! I have never seen her arbitrate anything before”
P1: ?????
Me: ROFL

To that my favourite quote of Jack sparrow.
“You can trust a dishonest person to be dishonest. It is the honest ones who u have to worry about because u can never say when they would do something stupid”

A declaration that none of what is mentioned refers to some level as to the magnitude of Ramalinga Raju who thought the internet was the confession chamber. Nor am i planning to go around scheming (i generally do) devious plans to have my revenge. Guess this is just regretting the opportunity cost of a stupid decision. :)

Of Hospital Vigils and Idli Escapades

2009-10-30T00:33:00.000-07:00

Experiences can be fun. No, its not that kind of a write up where u talk of learning from mistakes etc. Its pretty much about having a fun time and reminiscing about that.

Last to last Sunday, a friend of mine got admitted in the hospital at 10:30 in the night. Not a great start to the fun part, but when I decided to bunk the assignment and went over to be of some help, I didn’t know what i was getting into. 4 people had decided to stay vigil – 2 guys and 2 girls and as luck would have it they wouldn’t let guys into the ward and only 1 visitor per patient. So of the limited things to do, we decided to stay put in the car for the night. Swear words of the driver, trying to sleep, notwithstanding, it was a nonstop riot. I mean when you have nothing to do but practice corny lines on targets who just keep laughing or commenting on batch with people with excellent sense of timing, its more like a David Dhawan movie – cheap humour and yet time pass :)

Btw after a saga of phone calls and surgery arrangements, the friend was discharged the next day without a scratch and the doctors having no clue as to what was wrong. Prayers do work. Except for enjoying the looks of the extremely judgmental lady in the opposite bed who was going into conniptions at the idea of guys who are not husbands/brothers staying beside a girl, the friend missed out on most of the fun part. Thanks to sedatives and bottles of saline. The friend later tried to trip one of us and then poison two others so that she can also have all that fun. :P

When parents of a fellow student come to visit, u generally don’t get all excited. Not unless you are in Shillong longing for south Indian food and they got with them 120 idlis with sambhar and molaga podi! I’m generally not one for exclusion, but when it comes to love, food or war – it is an altogether different game! Around 12 Tamil people and a chance few others (guys and girls), did the job of emptying all the 120 idlis in less than 40 mins to a very skewed distribution! Topped off with Sambhar rice made from the excess sambhar with an all out dip of hands into the container, I’m sure its not one pic i’d put on facebook :P More than the food, the way we had it, God! We thanked the guy’s mom profusely and assured her we’ll sponsor her tickets next time she comes :)

A mid night birthday party with wine(?), consecutive food outings, planned bunking strategies, shit load from different fronts and then laughing about it – all this amidst a week schedule that read 9 to 6 and a near 10 degree temperature.

People keep cribbing life is screwed up without realizing that it is this screwed up nature that keeps things from falling apart. Its not gonna get all that different. Faculty are gonna screw ur happiness, deadlines are always gonna go whooshing past, grades are gonna be in soup, but thats not reason enough to not enjoy the small moments that come your way. (:P just trying out JD’s method of summarizing at the end of the episode (scrubs-for the uninitiated))

A Sleepwalker's cup of coffee

2009-10-15T07:57:00.000-07:00

Its tough to describe how exactly it feels, but i guess the closest will be the feeling of a live fly caught in butterscotch icecream. It knows it loves the surrounding, but there’s just too much of it and getting out alive is the prime concern.

I can say, without shame, i’ve sat through classes in engineering that were terribly sleep-inducing and at the end of it cover crap as passable questions and confuse the profs. But here i’m sleeping through classes that others find interesting and regaining consciousness only to realize I have missed some good 15 mins! The last time i did that was watching Jodhaa Akbar. Oh wait, i did that midway during my last blog....

Tho i thought ki i’ll write an extremely random updates kind of thingy (i remembered someone now :D), that have as much relevance to each other as Rakhi Sawant has to Venkatraman Ramakrishnan to cheer myself up.

Weekend following the term-end was awesome. Went to movie, food and cherrapunji and probably the best weekend in a long time! Awesome batch, cool bande aur truckloads of awesome pics. Something to cheer about. Of course not to mention a chewing gum is not a great thing to have in your mouth when cameras click. And ya, caves are places where a flash reminds you of how a deer feels, caught under the headlight.

Then a week of coming back to reality where after making fun of the profs we met for the first time, they started screwing us. Somehow i can’t seem to remember how I actually managed to read stuff in term 1 while all around ppl are frantically scanning pages of multiple books!

The last weekend had more drama than a sunny deol movie and since we were all players, had to dance around giving out threatening dialogues, open challenges and then senti monologues as well. The only thing missing was a badly choreographed song sequence.

One of my friends mentioned her hatred for the term roller coaster associated with life. Well, i agree totally. Roller coasters are so much more exciting and while falling, u at least know u are gonna be just fine. Anyways not a great deal of importance is ever associated to people’s words as it is to actions. As the song on my playlist plays as if on cue, you say it best when you say nothing at all :)

One more crazy thought that dawned between yawns in class is on temporal long distance. Spatial or geographical long distance can be bridged through diff mediums, but what about time driven? No its not about relationships, just the gap between want-to and have-to. I guess this should seriously be thought about.

Assignments beckon. Sigh.. Sleepwalking on a treadmill..

One sixth a Manager

2009-10-02T04:45:00.001-07:00

One trimester over and here I am indulging myself in a movie marathon. After a bonfire and exercising my right to make a fool out of myself, I can’t help but think what has changed in the last 2 months!! (to what made me think of this, it was the dialogue “Its not who you are, but what you do that defines you” from batman begins) I can feel the change. Its in the form of jargons that I use, the way I break up the problem into concepts and the way I think letting your friend make a fool out of himself in front of a girl should not be stopped, since u never stop a competitor who makes a mistake :P But its extremely tough to study with nature’s breathtaking beauty around you :)

These are few truths realized in the trimester gone by in the most non academic way.

1) There are 3 types of people, the hard workers, the smart workers and those who think they are smart workers. I belong to the 3rd

2)Any professor who takes the time to develop his/her own theory, it pays off to paraphrase his viewpoints in class and ppts. Its not a suck up strategy but knowing your consumer needs say experts.

3)Professors who seem really friendly are the ones who are gonna screw you in papers

4)Any class, we can have A to Z varieties of DPs (Desperate Participation) and a combination of stuff too. I personally found it hilarious that people exhibit persistence, courage and a sense of conviction to ask such questions.

5)Bees love me. (Ph(f)oolish?) Courtesy of Keshav: With the number of bees around, tell me if this is a B-School or a Bee-School?

6)A smaller campus permits you to get up at 8.55 for a 9 class..

7)A 5 minutes ppt can be presented for 15 mins. If you have never seen the ppt before and u have to present it u can present it for half an hour.

8)Weekdays are better than weekends in terms of work load in a B-School

9)Exams that u need to write pages are the ones you generally don’t need to study much for.

10)All the horrible B-School experience based books, when they talk of staying up crazy hours, feeling you are slogging your posteriors off, are true.
Having said that, its a myth they actually work all that many hours.

11)Dilbert and Calvin philosophies work best in a B-School

12)After 4 years “Take it and Go” is again popular! History repeats itself

13) The key to reducing stress in an IIM is to have low expectations or be confident. I know, it sounds defeatist, but seriously, looking at a few friends slogging like crazy, its really tempting to tell them to google for some life and download the same!

After i slept off in front of comp while chatting with a friend midway thru post, i realized sleep is much more valuable than any movie, book or chat. 3 days of recuperation before the drill starts all over again.

Effect of a night's overdose

2009-09-14T13:27:00.000-07:00

As i sit at 2 am with my thoughts filled with QT, normal curves and its variances (strictly statistics), two things strike me as odd
a) When stats can be interpreted in any way u want the data to read, why go thru so much trouble?
b) Which sadistic statistician abbreviated the damn subject QT!!!

Hence i decided to chuck thinking on this line. I'll embrace the inevitable outcome of a cruel experiment whose results will again be expressed as mean, distribution curve and relative ranking!

Now here's one more opinion that is doing rounds. That engineers will find QT a piece of cake. first any engineering student reading this would mutter a 'bullshit' under his breath. second, engineers are programed to think analytically in as narrow a term as possible. To substantiate whatever comes as answer, gather proof for the same. If statisticians collect data, engineers make them up! Hence on behalf of all engineers, its still a screwed up subject.

There was an interesting debate on ethics and social responsibility of Leaders in last BS class. I got reminded of an earlier mail chain in office on ethics (a rare intellectual one - thought of u ppl now). I believe, ethics are prone to change and history is written by the winning side. Had Hitler gone on to win the WWII we'd probably be talking of ethics that demand the Jews be persecuted. I don't know how many know this, but major leaders and writers like Churchhill, Roosvelt, HG wells, Bernard Shaw believed in a concept of Eugenics (wiki it). Which essentially was similar to ideology of Hitler. So who's the bad guy?? What is social responsibility is defined by the demands of a time.

And strategy seems to be on everybody's lips here! but the one live strategy that is reaping benefits is my roomie's, i must admit. After a couple of pens and markers that I took for granted and borrowed on a long term, now he's gone for the pink strategy. A pink pen and a pink marker and all pink highlights makes it impossible to borrow without being caught red handed(ironically) :P Move over Blue ocean strategy, here comes Pink strategy! (sorry da, had to mention this)

Now that i have successfully piled on work load, thanks to the match(awesome) and some more essentials, here i'm in classroom ready to take the plunge. Bye for now, sleep and all :)

When values are held accountable

2009-09-03T14:14:00.000-07:00

Though tempted to use accounting parlance thanks to two HBR cases over the weekend, i restrain myself. Plan to do so sometime – accounting for dummies :P

Last Friday we had a day long marathon of Business Communication, a subject akin to dupatta for our bollywood heroines – Required, but no one cares. However in the first hour, there was a value judgement question on values and it kind of set me thinking. I’m not sure if there are any copyrights in this, but since it is not said so in so many words, i’ll risk the question anyway.

“One beautiful girl on an island wants to go the next island to meet her lover who is going away for many years.She approaches the ferry boat and requests the captain to take her to the other island – the ferry is the only means of communication. Since she does not have any money the ferry captain refuses. However, the captain says he will take her across, provided she sleeps with him. She refuses. She approaches Hermit 1 for advice. Hermit 1 tells her to decide on her own. She approaches the captain again, and agrees to his terms. She fulfils the conditions and reaches her lover’s island. The lover is happy finding her, and wants to know how she came since she did not have any money. She tells him, and her lover rejects her. She is tired and goes to hermit 2. Hermit 2 comforts her and gives her food. She wants to know how she can repay him. Hermit 2 says – you don’t have to repay me; I did my duty as a human.”

The question was something as to who we like the most and hate the most, without mentioning ethics or values. Of course a lot of people said a lot of stuff, but i thought there was much more to this than a simple discussion. The opinion of people kind of smoke out either the logical aspect or theatrical aspect of ppl (DP not included) that mirror the persona or so was the intent. But my point is what you perceive to be good does not mean that is a value for you.

The majority wanted to believe they liked the hermit 2 a lot. From a previous behavioural science test I also noticed most of them were type A personality, extremely competitive and more and more goal oriented.

The romantics wanted to believe they liked the lady a lot for she did what she did because she was in looveee. Somehow most of these people do not seem the type to subscribe for compromises. Most of them persons who get offended at the slightest hint of unfavourable situations.

The philosophical ones wanted to like hermit 1. Ironically most of them consulting aspirants!! I wonder how that option sounds in business decisions – do what you want, its your business. Since i actually know a hermt 1 character who’s only job when u are confused is to confuse you more by saying high fundu philo crap, I didn’t think it was a great idea. But again everyone is free to have their own opinion.

Ironically, no one liked the lover. Honestly, How many of us would have done the exact same thing under the circumstance?

The one character, who liked the captain cos he gained the most, somehow was extremely harshly judged. She being a good friend of mine, the line of thinking was apt for a very practical manager. But again, the “perceived value” part of it kept people from acknowledging the logical flow i guess.

Now here is my question. How can your perceived value be related to your actual values?! Its like saying just because u know what is good, u are good. If i were the most corrupt person who is trying to manipulate people the first thing i need to know is to identify the ‘good’ ones. So when people are actually trying to find out ‘good managers’ who can manipulate people in the best possible manner, i guess these tests hold good  (Did u notice i never said what my answer was? :P)

Now just the other day someone commented on how judgemental I am. I totally agree and further confirm that the person who commented on me must be crazy :P When u are interested in people, u tend to draw conclusions extrapolate behaviours and finally come up with misconstrued opinions and land up with belied expectations. Its ok. Its perfectly natural, since every third person i met here say’s he/she likes to observe people.

There was a beautiful article on Sustainability that i wrote in the mid term. Not by marks, not by the handwriting, but by the honesty of the content. I meant every word of what i said and felt good writing for long with the flow not dictated by books. If only i can say everything i want to say  Lot of small beautiful moments studding my vast sky of monotony and hardship. Reminds me of something i read recently.
“Ralph Waldo Emerson once asked what we would do if the stars only came out once every thousand years. No one would sleep that night, of course. The world would become religious overnight. We would be ecstatic, delirious, made rapturous by the glory of God. Instead the stars come out every night, and we watch television.”

On that note i end a somewhat disorganized thought process.

Marketing - The courtship exercise

2009-08-19T09:48:00.000-07:00

As I have come to observe, thanks to 5 different books we were asked to read and a class which gives the 6th view, that everybody has a Goddamn opinion on Marketing! Agreed they are experts and have done some research to coin words that’s accepted as buzz word. So I thought let me also try to put into words how I understand the current consumerism works from the perspective of a consumer.

We have changed from adjusting with what you get to demanding what we need. Its more like a shift in the marriage trends - from arranged to love- making the best out of what you get and choosing what you want. Now comes the complication of what in the whole wide world does a customer/consumer want?

Earlier people used to 'buy' commodities. Now a days they go shopping. What is the difference? The consumer is no longer a person who has needs to be met but wants his needs met in style. He now likes to be wooed, to be impressed, to make businesses put an effort to please him - visually(packages), economically(pocket friendly), with 'value addition' and in other words to be courted. And how does the consumer react? Like the most unfaithful lover, he basks in the attention and blatantly sidelines the last product that made him feel special!

Now comes the concept of brands. Someone captures the attention, engages you in multiple 'dates' manages to win a place in the heart of the consumer. Its like a speed dial on your mobile, the name you automatically remember. The consumer is willing to go for your brand despite the other brands that try to woo him with offers and features. That’s being in a relationship - brand relationship to be precise.

As every relationship grows, there comes expectations. Expectations from the consumer for lower prices , increased features, more attention and being made feel special. Now if the brand cannot do that, thanks to pressure from competitors or their own constraints, you're looking at a marriage on the rocks. Brand loyalty needs to earned and trust me, businesses are working hard to save the relationship. Thankfully, atleast here, insecurity is not the spoil sport :)

If you look at the trend of brand loyalty in recent times, its dwindling at a rate more than the skirts of bollywood heroines! Add to it the amorous tendencies of both, the brands and the consumers and you have a concoction with more potency than gin and tonic to give you a high. However, the stress in this field is so much that more and more marketing managers are tiring out much before their finance and operations counterparts. But the adrenaline rush, the uncertainty, the glamour coefficient sure hooks most people.

At the end of the day, its all business and everything is fair in love and war. Whether you see it as love or war, the subject has its appeal. Hope the enthusiasm doesn't get curbed with too much definitions and theory, that I basically suck at :)

Disclaimer: I'm a novice who has probably read a few pages in books and blogs and fallen for marketing hard. All views are my own and not to be related with the classroom teachings (my prof will kill me!). All types of inputs are welcome :)

When things suck the most

2009-08-15T12:45:00.000-07:00

Of all the things i wanted to write, from curve analysis to sustainability, here i'm writing yet another sober piece. As someone who had a realization that life gets you immaterial of how much on top of it you see yourself, I've never been carried away in happiness. Gives me a look of sensibility they tell me, but more often than not I end up making a mental note to say a prayer not to 'balance' it out.

The reason i'm in this sober a mode today is that my mom called me at 12.00 am to tell me my bro fell from his bike and has a wrist fracture which needs surgery tomorrow. Its not a major one and hope to God, he will recover fast. More than the news, I got hit by the pangs of guilt for my 'busy'ness and a feeling of impotence that comes from the knowledge that you can't help how much ever u want!

I've been there before, for my grandparents, right outside emergency halls, waiting for doctors to give me some news. Answering calls of worried relatives, comforting my mom and dad that things will be alright while I myself have had to call up a few angel friends for that mental strength. But then, I was doing Something! Here, far away from home, listening to my loved ones worried, just doesn't let me carry on with my work. I read up so much on net and and found its pretty normal surgery. Still doesn't help.So much so that I'm pouring out here where I least expect to expose myself.

God, seriously forgive me for the jackass I might have been to anyone. I'm not gonna be asking for good grades or beautiful brides to be. if need be i'll work for them. For the next 2 years, all i ask is peace of mind, in the comfort of the knowledge that my loved ones are really fine, hale and healthy. a simple enough prayer i guess.

Seriously!

Random Blog

2009-07-30T13:52:00.000-07:00

I can’t think of anything subjective and there are a lot of little events and incidents that i have an opinion about (not all good and not all sayable either). So here goes on whatever is commentable.

Last weekend, my activities would befit the job description of a secret service agent – staying under cover and hot! Unfortunately both were literal given i was bedridden (not exactly) with a temperature that borders on crazy. Thanks to a few caring souls around, I am back on my feet. But the interesting fact that mine was not a one off case and there are atleast a dozen ppl who’ve fallen for this seasonal change kind of makes it a challenge. Let me tell you – misery does not always love company!

Then there’s the Kopda cup. The IIMS take on IPL is much more appealing than the original given the participation and the cheer. The class girls were divided into groups of 3 and they became the team management who with the help of the ‘free’ captain would buy the players for their team. The concept was wonderful, not because it was borrowed, but the enthusiasm it generated. You should have seen our CEO’s and CFO’s running around with laptops before auction and then in the auction second guessing, strategising and running proxy price wars to weaken competition! Phew.

The week before we had a visiting lecturer teach us on sustainability. Wow! The way of teaching, the energy levels and not to forget, the concept itself was so different from what we are used to. Somewhere down the line was born the sense of belonging. It asked of me a lot of questions, and I can’t help think it is yet another way for mankind to drive his selfish needs. A desperate attempt to cling on to his un mending ways. In addition the teaching just went on to prove that anyone who is so passionate about the subject can bring out the best from the participants. We need more such Indian faculty.

The regular term began this week and seriously Its like antennas class all over again. I can’t think of the last time i had to prepare before going to a class and even that seems to help little. My gchat status msgs have already exhibited my most relevant questions i’ve come across like how can you take a subject seriously which is abbreviated as BS? (I might fall in love with this subject if i get to study) If macro study is an extrapolation of micro study, then can u study the textile industry by studying micro mini skirts?

Other than that, been suiting up to pose for pics which seem to come out comical than professional. Though kind of liking the suited up feeling especially without a tie and a jeans pant below. Too bad style ain’t an option :P Spoke to an couple of normal people (not in B-school yet) and realized the ‘opportunity cost’ was not a big deal given its still bright and happy :)

As i cough like Devdas with a spoilt larynx i sense, not all good opinions are appreciated nor are all bad opinions unwelcome. But I still am in no mood to entertain people’s wrath. Let me get back to the Price Elasticity of demand that i need to prepare for tomo. Oh wait, today. Damn the biological clock!

Crisis finally!

2009-07-23T03:03:00.000-07:00

Crisis is in everyone’s dictionary these days and each in a totally different meaning! A lot of people know i’ve been talking about writing on Crisis ever since i read the Andromeda strain by which i mean i’m going to copy paste the excerpt and take credit for bringing it to notice :D As a severe case of Baddder Meinhoff syndrome (google it), ever since i came to IIM Shillong, everywhere I hear someone or the other using the word.

Dean – “Crisis is the mother of innovation” (Catch phrase here)
Visiting faculty – “Our resources drain is gonna lead to a huge crisis soon”
Senior - “You’ll hear a lot about this @$#%^ Crisis a lot”
Overheard – “Shit,Personal Crisis time! I’ve run out of clean ‘things’ to wear” :P

But on a more serious note I suggest you read the following excerpt and appreciate the relevance to anything and everything u see around.

According to Lewis Bornheim, a crisis is a situation in which a previously tolerable set of circumstances is suddenly, by the addition of another factor, rendered wholly intolerable. Whether the additional factor is political, economic, or scientific hardly matters: the death of a national hero, the instability of prices, or a technological discovery can all set events in motion.

The noted scholar Alfred Pockrun, in his study of crises (Culture, Crisis and Change), has made several interesting points. First, he observes that every crisis has its beginnings long before the actual onset. Thus Einstein published his theories of relativity in 1905-15, forty years before his work culminated in the end of a war, the start of an age, and the beginnings of a crisis.

Similarly, in the early twentieth century, American, German, and Russian scientists
were all interested in space travel, but only the Germans recognized the military potential of rockets. And after the war, when the German rocket installation at Peenernfinde was cannibalized by the Soviets and Americans, it was only the Russians who made immediate, vigorous moves toward developing space capabilities. The Americans were content to tinker playfully with rockets and ten years later, this resulted in an American scientific crisis involving Sputnik, American education, the ICBM, and the missile gap.

Pockran also observes that a crisis is compounded of individuals and personalities,
which are unique:
“It is as difficult to imagine Alexander at the Rubicon, and Eisenhower at Waterloo, as it is difficult to imagine Darwin writing to Roosevelt about the potential for an atomic bomb. A crisis is made by men, who enter into the crisis with their own prejudices,propensities, and predispositions. A crisis is the sum of intuition and blind spots, a blend of facts noted and facts ignored.
Yet underlying the uniqueness of each crisis is a disturbing sameness. A characteristic of all crises is their predictability, in retrospect. They seem to have a certain inevitability,they seem predestined. This is not true of all crises, but it is true of sufficiently many tomake the most hardened historian cynical and misanthropic.”

MC
The Andromeda Strain

Beautifully put. Our actions without thought, bear the burden of sowing the seeds for things you do not anticipate. Yes, Man is intelligent enough to come out of it, be it the current global meltdown or the energy crisis. But aren’t we always thinking in retrospect? True, one cannot predict whats going to happen, but you can adjudge what your present action might lead to. The entire concept of causality is not a retrospective study.

I’m not sure, if this is true of every person, but whenever i try to do an impact analysis (a term from office), i end up over-thinking. There was a brief coverage on Game theory for decision making, but what we don’t realize is how do you account for variable change when there is a sense of foreboding and inevitability! (see movie 21 :) )

I sensed i’m going too technical (or just terms dropping), but something we need to think about before we term the situation as crisis. Problem, scenario, difficulty, hurdle are more apt words than a crisis for most of our day to day life. But our decisions taken to handle the scenarios are to be rational and with a bit of forethought.

As i typed this, i kind of remembered that our batch music band is also called Crisis! They were awesome in the cult comm fest yesterday, and i need to make a special mention of the pianist and singer, a certain Rukma Jayaram (here). She’s got 3/4th of the batch having the gchat status messages praising her voice and more so in awe after reading this article. The humbleness of someone like her and the fact that she’s one among a very promising set of future managers, makes me really proud to be part of this batch :)

From Byes that weren’t extras to Skip distance strategy

2009-07-14T13:39:00.000-07:00

When you have a screwed up pun in the title, the chances are you are on a roll! Being on a roll is a bad news if you are a chicken I guess (buwahaha).

I half expected to see myself getting the business focus, the professionalism and a small amount of cut down on my PJs since I’m now a part of the IM Shillong family. What i didn’t take into account was the fact that I’m back to a college and hostel life! :D

When I quit my job and moved from Bangalore, amidst sad faces (who were secretly exchanging hi-fives whenever my back was turned) there were 3 things that I realized.

a) I’m going to be missing a few people whom I’m really glad I met and Sincerely hope to be in touch with for the rest of my life (a very tough promise)

b) Now that i won’t have a pay-check, I’m actually dependent again and can’t spend big!

c) You cannot carry 5 bags of luggage on your own and cross the railway over-bridge without looking stupid

The week I spent in Chennai after that I kind of realized being literally jobless, I was working more than i ever did in office! Of course a whole lot of running around in the hot sun, eating home food and pampering my dog left me with one day to pack all my stuff for probably a really long stay away from home. (2 years in Bangalore or 4 years in VIT, i ended up coming home atleast once a month). So while all the batch mates I met at the airport were paying extra luggage I was the only one who had less than the limit allowed!! Kind of explained the borrowing I’ve been doing here in the name of "inclusive development" :)

Shillong – Love at first sight! Though it took my maiden flight, bad airline sandwich, a 3.5 hour drive that was dangerously probing the anti gravity attributes of the bad sandwich, the thing that remains in memory of the 1^st of July was my “Shit! This place is Awesome!!” Lush greenery everywhere, warm people, beautiful landscapes, cool weather (I’ve been wearing a jerkin all the while) and above all the excitement at pursuing my dream! I’m gonna be writing a lot more on this place in the next 2 years. ( i left out - the chance to flaunt my hindi :D)

The rigour of work interlaced with ice breaker sessions topped off with awesome partying last -weekend. I got back into the groove of exam-eve-night at VIT (here an everyday affair), long useless conversations (never lost touch) and terms dropping (now all management terms like sustainability and crises) totally out of context (all this before the term even began). Just took a break and came after an hour of absolutely crappy conversation (taking cases and my own case taken) laughing my ass off . Aah, college :D A lot of time to talk about it.

An electronics engineer might know what a skip distance might mean. It is more so relevant in a class room where there’s a terrible generalization that first benchers are sincere ;) On one day when i sat there, a blog entry got written on a fellow students page on how first benchers are sincerely taking notes. Those drawings in the margin and the philo flowing plus the sleep u can manage without getting caught aren’t something that is apparent. Doesn’t hurt in this concept called class participation either :D

I hope to be a bit more regular in this new avatar of dumping business jargons to trivial issues to take off the steam of serious assignments :D Next, i hope to write on crises, long pending after Crichton’s Andromeda Strain :) Adios till then.

Sincerely

2009-05-30T23:44:00.000-07:00

Now, not that I had written my earlier blogs under the veils of deceit, scheming for world domination, but I thought this one should be straight from the heart with no bad puns or extremely clever word usage (cough).

I got admission into the Indian Institute of Management Shillong for the batch of 2009-2011. I can’t say how glad I’m.

There are a few people I need to acknowledge. Doing it in person seemed a bit awkward and invariably ended in grins/laughs. This is no particular order.

My TL, Amar, who has been extremely supportive right from the start. Being my mentor, he genuinely seems to takes pride in my achievements and I couldn’t have asked for a better person to guide me in this corporate world. He gave a glowing referral for my IIM B and also very valuable inputs all thru my 2.5 years at Honeywell for my all round growth and development.

Pokey, who has been extremely frank in his opinions and that’s probably the kind of person you need as your friend. Not the one to just agree with whatever u say, this is the kind of guy who gives honest opinion and not so sweetened Judgments that might at times be a bitter pill to swallow. I’m still working on a couple of his inputs and he’s off to IIM Lucknow.

Ninja, who probably should have been dead had I ever managed to catch him in college. The last one year of my CAT prep couldn’t have happened with the same vigor had it not been for him. Every test and every mock I took, I had someone to set targets with, someone to keep me pushing for more. Unlucky to have missed out this year, but mach, greatness shall be yours.

My roomies, Sheela and Sriram have been one major factor. I mean when the last thing you see before u sleep and the first thing u see when u wake up is your roomies preparing, keeps you pushing. For their hard work, I’m sure this year is gonna pay off big dividends. Vikrant, who is now in US for his MS, also was instrumental in convincing me to quit contemplating and start preparing for this CAT.

Joe, whose corporate wisdom and truckloads of sense, have guided me thru times when my confidence levels were down. She doesn’t sugar coat inputs, but probably the best person to help you out if you ever need. Between driving her crazy and finding innovative ways to get on her nerves, I can never say a sincere thanks without her interrupting with “Thappad khaana hai? Koi kaam nahi hai? :D “

Poornima, arguably the best thing to happen to me post college. Between monosyllable replies and long monologues, she is one person headed for greatness in anything she chooses to pursue. Getting her to pursue anything is a tough ask, so she lets a lot of things pursue her ;) [Sorry, I couldn’t resist]

And again a lot of well wishers, Sk, Rini, Shabu,Paddu to name a few.

By God, I know I can’t thank anyone more than my family for their support. But thanks is just too lame.

I’ve been lucky. In a lot of ways. A lot of people have told me this. The kind of ppl i've come across, the way things have worked out. Despite this, I don’t have to justify to anyone I wanted this so sincerely.

God bless us all. Looking forward to an awesome 2 years :)

PS: This is the first time I’m mentioning names in my blog. Mostly cos I’ve never had a lot of good things to say about ppl and saying the crazy stuff with names might have put my life at risk ;)

@ the rate of Thought

2009-04-02T03:55:00.000-07:00

Calvin: Sometimes when I’m talking my words can’t keep pace with my thought. I wonder why we think faster than we can speak!
Hobbes: Probably so we can think twice.

A Bill Waterson gem! :)

Not so much the philosophy, but at least the first part is intriguing. This is a situation almost everybody find themselves in. A minute of silence is all is needed to have thousand conversations with self. Most of which is crazy I must say. I tried to capture my line of thinking and found them pretty crazy.

Situ 1: Attended a marriage of a friend. Not many mutual friends, so..

God, I hate weddings..They should ban weddings.. Why would so many ppl sit around looking at each other.. I wonder what they are all thinking.. Hmmm, that box looks big, wonder whats in it.. What if they open to find the box empty.. grin.. must try it out once in some party.. Hey where have I seen that girl!.. can’t be company, not so many pretty girls.. of course there is [beep] but again too few.. I haven’t seen [beep] in some time now.. aah..[beep] .. real pretty.. wait, this girl, where have I seen.. must be one of those dejavu moments.. dejavu.. he he.. dejavu dejavu.. scrubs.. I hope the food is good.. heard gujju food is generally good.. what was that dish – Kadhi? Hope they give that.. It was delicious.. Hey where did that pretty girl go!!

All this while waiting in line to go wish the couple :)

Situ 2: Riding the bike after some heavy philosophical discussion on future

I wonder how it would turn out.. I wonder what future holds for me.. interesting image, a blind beggar with a board around his neck that reads future.. holds out to everyone the bowl for charity, but ppl are just too busy to notice! Wow.. what a philo.. hey, wait! Isn’t phile means love? So whats the root word of philosophy? Wonder if it’s the same phile. whats sophy.. definitely not that MTV female.. yew, irritating! Sophie loving ppl need to be termed classphobes or something.. ah, future - everything happens for a reason.. mostly good.. what all have reinstated my beleief? Why go so long ago, today morning coffee was delayed thanks to %^&%. But see what happened! Bumped into [beep].. aah..[beep] .. grin.. this should irritate someone.. he he.. wonder why I love irritating a few select ppl..

A 2 min drive from shop to office.

Situ 3: Weekly tracking meeting

What a boring meeting.. I hope they don’t ask me anything.. I hate explaining what I did.. I should have been an executioner! Very easy to explain the job.. wonder if executioners are given monthly targets.. damn, I’d hate to be around an executioner just before his appraisal discussion.. why is everyone laughing? God, I missed the joke.. who cares, just laugh.. I wonder if just nodding at the right times is sufficient.. no, too risky.. the direction of nod could commit you to something you don’t want.. hey look, a bunch of network cables.. Looks like they plan to use multiple laptops at a same time.. hey wait, if I could hold them together and take a photo I can email it saying “A communication engineer’s valentine gift”.. he he.. wait for the meeting to end to take the photo.. will come in handy later.. I must wipe that grin off my face.. focus.. Is someone calling my name?
“Ya, I was just trying to recollect the Par classification..”

nice save! must stop watching Scrubs!!

Situ 4: One of the most crucial 15 mins where I was required to think

…

[Sigh]

Principles yield no interest at any rate..

2008-12-29T00:57:00.000-08:00

If you ever try to assess the words that draw the most sarcasm, I’m sure after ‘Just Friends’ the word that draws most snigger would be ‘Principle’. I mean, its not that people don’t believe it, but just that they can’t stop rolling eyes whenever someone utters these.

And believe me it is overrated too. a couple of months back when I was conversing with a certain person of the opposite sex with no obvious purpose, the topic of drinks came up. She blatantly asked how often do I get drunk with a puff of smoke all around and make a fool out of myself. In all honesty I said “I am a teetotaler, vegetarian(irrelevant) and a non smoker. But ya I don’t need external agents to make a fool out of myself [grin] I’m eternally intoxicated [wink]”. And she had to say this “Oh! Why? Principles huh? [wink, grin]”.I had met her an hour before and there she was asking me the one question I’ve been tweaking the answer to since my school days. After a “Naah. Just to have something to brag about. Heard it is a great line that women fall for[Grin]” “[Giggle] [giggle]” and half hour of chatter, I subconsciously made a note to try to avoid that question at all cost.

Now, I’m not saying I’m not proud of it nor am I gonna canvas against these stuff. It’s quite simply a matter of choice and I don’t want to discuss it as such. But the idea of what to do and what not to do, should it be labeled as principles? For example, will Sidhu label speaking normal English, against his principles? I think it should be called something on the lines of “Whatever I want to do” or something.

Anyways, it too has a downside. Some time back I went to a bar with my friends and while they were busy selecting stuff to order from a really impressive menu, I very confidently turned it to the last page for the lighter stuff. (Wonder why all the non-alcoholic stuff is prefixed with a ‘virgin’ while the opposite of it is ‘bloody’?) To the bearer I confidently said “one Virgin Piccola” and he blinked to assess if I was serious. Only after my friends ordered something did he heave a sigh of relief and went in with a shake of his head. After that he went all out to insult. That thing I got was adorned with an umbrella, cherries and fruits on the side of the glass, much to my company’s delight. (jackasses)

What makes me go through with all this and still hold dear certain self imposed restrictions despite having nothing against it? I mean if I were against it morally, I would be trying to dissuade my friends’ right? (which ppl claim I did initially). After some serious thought, I realized these are reassurances that I’m in control of my actions. After seeing my close friends and relatives who have been trying to give up smoking or a friend of mine who has been trying to rid of booze only to end up getting drunk time and again, I guess its more of a whim to take control.

As if to reiterate the fact, I can’t think of one rationale reason for me deciding to lay off ice-cream for the past 4 months or a silly bet after which I decided to stop coffee (I couldn’t start my day without it). As the guy in ‘Wanted’ movie says : “This is me taking control of my life” and to that add “Just to garner my ego” Guess the strip below is relevant :D

(click to enlarge)

Oh and just to do away with a misconception: I was told that, apparently women (atleast down south) would want the guy to be addicted to any of the so called ‘vices’ so that they can take the credit of ‘changing’ them! God save us men!

This is kind of dedicated to a friend who can’t stand people who smoke or drink and still was curious how I never tried it.

A Tonsured head and a bag full of Ideas

2008-10-15T08:51:00.000-07:00

Well, the term in the title means clean shaven. I could have used that, but again, a new term I confused with ‘tarnished’, I got to use. I learnt this word at the centre where I saw Dhoni look alikes going in and coming out looking like Viru. And yes, I got my head tonsured at tirupati (though I must admit I would have done it at the saloon if this didn’t come along).

Right from the minute I got it done, I could have easily started a new hobby – collecting wise-ass comments from my jackass buddies(?). Ranging from ridiculous comparisons to plain indifference (ouch), people have been really forthcoming with their opinions. And me, I generally beat them to the punch with my own comments.

However what I can’t quite understand is the questions framed by those who are just acquainted. I mean why would people ask “What happened?!” What do they expect me to say? Lets say I beat nature to it (not by as big a margin as I would have liked though). My friend suggested I answer with “Its autumn!!”

Anyhow, the fact is I’ve been quite enjoying the new look. Not to mention the time saved in front of the mirror trying to solve the problems of surface area coverage with data insufficiency constraints (cough). Plus the best part has been things I can do and the immense pleasure I draw in irritating people.

The following is the list of things I’ve done / plan to do to unsuspecting people. Given it SOME thought haven’t I?!) :D

-> Start searching frantically around the place when people are around. When asked what I’m searching for, say “I seem to have lost my comb”

->In meetings or discussion make eye contact with the person who is speaking and blow off my imaginary wisp of hair falling over my eyes. This usually gets them to start stuttering.

->Whenever in elevators with mirrored doors or passing parked vehicles with people you know, stop to adjust my hair.

->Interrupt a really busy coworker and with all seriousness ask for a favor. When they grudgingly ask what, ask if they can suggest a good conditioner for my hair

->In all general conversations make references to old sayings and aphorisms that involve hair. My favorite is a tamil one which when translated into English goes something like – “Its like dragging the mountain, tying it to your hair. If you succeed it’s the mountain you’ve got else you’ve just lost a hair” (spoilt it with the translation)

->Take along a friend for shopping and spend long time in buying a comb or choosing hair oil and shampoo.

->Suddenly register a horrified expression on the face and ask people “What happened to my hair?!?!”

->In shampoo brand webpages or forums, post my new pic and say ‘xyz’ shampoo is responsible for my awesome hair.

->Use a hair dryer for long time and when people get bugged and ask me to stop, look really offended.

Now the list is not exhaustive mind you, but covers my immediate list from which I’ve tried around 60% with varying levels of success.

Here I’m signing off to get back to what I should be doing. Adios.

Random Musing

2008-09-29T07:03:00.000-07:00

I’m bored. Not the I-Have-nothing-better-to-do bored nor is it the am-watching-jodha-akbar-the-2nd-time bored. I simply feel “Why the heck am I doing what I’m doing and why the hell is something better so not fun” feeling.

So I think I’ll kind of update a few minor highlights in my life and give my opinion on a few irrelevant topics to cheer myself up.

I conducted 3 telephonic interviews in one day! It probably doesn’t seem a big deal, but to me, I was all grins when I was asked if I could. All 3, more experienced than me and I had to do a screening on skill set which for some odd reason, they believe I have. When my TL asked me if I can, I managed a “ok, I’ll see if I am free” while inside I was all like “Buwahahaha”! I did my homework – Roadies auditions on youtube and a whole lot of Dilbert [:D]! They say power corrupts - but hey, I’m above that!! (Buwahahaha)

Attended a time management training. Sounds lame? I thought so too. But it was surprisingly good. Had a few takeaways from it and now I find myself having time for work amidst reading blogs and donating rice for the needy at freerice.com :D. But ya, kind of resonated with the sentiments on work life balance and resolved to take time off to bridge ties and save bonds across.

Which brings me to my Public relations part. Not that I’m competing for any popularity contest, but if I were, I would have been screamed at by really rude judges which would have got media coverage on Times now for 2 whole days! I’ve been quite preoccupied lately. Meaning my social life is akin to E-Coli – in deep shit. The realization came when I pinged a real good friend of mine on gchat [After some 3 weeks of seeing her online, I pinged her in invisible mode] and realised she was in US and about to be married! Vaguely remembered a call while I was in a telecon that I cut and a mail asking for my current number that i didn't reply to [Am really sorry re. Congratulations]. After that harsh awakening, [where i was virtually screamed at after the initial pleasantaries] I’ve decided to take the initiative and call people once in a while.

I got a dog back home. Binny – a cross of spitz. He kind is of the opinion its fun to lick me awake at ungodly hours and get screamed at. Blame it partly on the pampering he gets around the house. Amazing distraction. Too bad I get to spend time with him only every second weekend. But nice to know someone gets all happy to see you and can’t wait to jump on you and welcome you. I mean, of course, I wouldn’t want people jumping on me to welcome me and definitely no licking!!! A smile is sufficient :)

Watched a couple of good movies recently. Wednesday was too good and the tamil movie Saroja was fun. In addition rewatched the Dark Knight some 4 times [it’s the best movie of all times in my opinion].

I have some 3 unfinished blogs still on my system. [one of which is pretty damaging to a friend(??) of mine :P] Am one of those strange people who gets writer’s block in the middle of a piece! That’s why shelved anything subjective and just randomly musing.

That’s it for now. Feeling better already and actually a report I’m supposed to be working on beckons.

Adios! Have fun and God bless.

Slaves of Time

2008-09-05T05:29:00.000-07:00

Note: This post is yet another attempt at variety.

Late into the night. The waning moon hides her disfigured face behind the clueless clouds. The nomadic clouds drift away doing their business of being oblivious to the moon’s sadness or for that matter the entire cosmos.

A new blade of grass, that came into the world with so much expectation, now unable to stand the stillness lazily stoops over to make small talk with the other blades. Out of nowhere he feels himself being lifted by the winter breeze. Breeze, laden with moisture, carrying the fragrance of the distant buds that will bloom in a few hours and the cricks of the noisy crickets. The sudden bout of freshness lifts his spirits and he lets himself be swayed and caressed surrendering to the gentle breeze. Minutes of pure bliss pass and the breeze moves on to rouse the spirits elsewhere. The blade of grass recovering from the intoxication, realizes the presence that had not been there before.

A small droplet of moisture has been carelessly dropped onto his arm and there she was coy and demure, balled up in the presence of a stranger. The moon seems to have come out to wail out her loneliness in the vast expanse, and a few rays from the moon seemed to glisten through the new dew drop. He is fascinated. It feels so fresh, so exhilarating. He watches in bemusement as she lies there still scared and not wanting to know him further like in her own bubble.

He decides to make the first move. He closes the blade just a tad so he could encompass her on all sides. Startled, she moves down leaving a small trail that catches up with her and she ends up as a trembling drop away from his closing lamina. He recoils and immediately withdraws his closure move and spreads out to give her all the space she wanted. He feels like an idiot and is too embarrassed by his actions. Let her be he says to himself and tries to ignore her presence while all the while making sure he doesn’t sway so much to lose his visitor.

An hour passes. The breeze revisits and this time the grass is not excited but scared that he might lose possession. He could feel her shiver and this time she lets him encompass when he tried to cover her. He holds on to her against the breeze. The breeze seemed to hold no interest, none whatsoever in his possession and passes after dutifully gathering a few dust particles.

In the ensuing stillness he can feel the change in his visitor. She seems to relax and in doing so leans over him. He’s tickled with excitement. The other blades seemed to grow greener with envy. He is elated. Love is in the air. She smiles and after her initial inhibitions snuggles up into his arms. All world seems to grow insignificant for the pair and there they are drenched in peals of laughter sharing unadulterated love. In what seems to them like seconds passes hours. The dawn creeps up at the horizon.

The new lovers seemed to feel a bit uneasy at the brightness that shrouded them from the darkness that strangely felt like bliss. The sun comes over the horizon dutifully spreading his glow. The dew drop shivers and glistens at the same time. Her lover tries to protect her by drawing her closer. Its just a matter of minutes before the clinically efficient sun reaches for her. The blade of grass feels impotent. He could feel her clinging to him more trying to fight off the rays of sun, refracting the white light into the rainbow colors. Unperturbed, the rays keep soaking them and soon the inevitability of the fate strikes the lovers. Far in the distance a cuckoo bird sings in joy thanking the sun for his presence.

Minutes and seconds seemed much more significant than the eternity that they pledged their love for. The pair plead, try to reason all to a deaf agent of time. A slave who does his work loyally and clinically before he’s sent drowning into the ocean. In an hour she evaporates into thin air. The grass unable to bear the loss shies away and with a droop gathers dust. As the sun shines on through the rest of the day the grass weakens and tans and gets trampled and in pain does its duty of existence hoping that the same agents of time would bring him back her love.

A new day. Few broken dreams. A hundred new promises. And thus continues the cycle of life. Driven by time - the master.

Spitsville!

2008-08-26T02:47:00.000-07:00

I’m not exactly the type of person who stands nose to nose with someone I don’t agree with, with veins throbbing in my neck and make threatening statements.(What with the blubber accumulated, the nurses use me as pincushion before they can find a vein during blood donation camps) For such a peaceful person, something that can make me want to thrash the living daylights out of someone – I have discovered.

Now, when we were taught biology in 9th standard, most attention was spent on the Life process 2 chapter (expectedly). Somewhere in the chapter they were talking of the endocrine glands and stuff which I can’t remember exactly. But I’m sure nowhere was it mentioned secretions by a gland can obfuscate something as trivial as common sense! I mean, what factor in the www can make some [unprintable profanity] to spit from a vehicle in a traffic signal (moving bus even worse)?!

This is NOT a sad story of being painted and then me cribbing here. Cos I have no doubts had that ever happened I would have been currently in a police station pleading guilty to manslaughter. This post is a product of utter disgust at the thought that some have such an urge to spread their work as if its their purpose of existence.

I know people like that are almost everywhere. It even includes a few relatives and friends of mine. When I asked a friend of mine, why the F did he keep doing that, he was a bit embarrassed and after mutually exchanging sorries, it didn’t happen in my presence. He still does that I hear. Now this made me wonder how this habit(?) must have even come into existence or how do they convince themselves its not disgusting.

Come on people, a sense of civic hygiene can’t be acquired on being told. And its not a question of being taught in classrooms or at home. You just need to think if you would like to be at the other end of your actions. Its not rocket science!

In the end, this is not something I can do much about but express my concern and anger. If probably we put a fine for these people, it might reduce it a bit (and result in the class of Mercedes drivers who open the window to do the same.). Maybe trips to foreign localities might bring in some amount of shame. But ya that’s a maybe again.

Even if we get inspired by Titanic and get spitting into the Olympics (Cos we have chance for a few more golds), still a big no to spitting on the roads or in public places.

I could have spoken about related civic evils, but then I think this will be a sample candidate of that set.

Other than that, all the best to India in SL. And congratulations to our Olympic heroes who have done our country proud.
Adios!

Care for Droppings?

2008-07-07T05:40:00.000-07:00

Probably there’s nothing new with your professional jargon seeping into your day to day vocabulary. I mean it’s the most natural thing. So if you are gonna list taking bath as an ‘action item’ I’m not going to mock you. But engineers, they are a bit different from the rest of the lot. No I’m not saying we terms drop (which we do), but even the intended audience won’t figure out what in the www are we talking about. For the sake of saving time on analogies I’d like to call these technical ramblings – ‘Droppings’.

Now let me tell you I’m not talking about the nerdy type portrayed in sitcoms like the big bang theory. I’m talking about the weasels (Read Dilbert) who thoroughly enjoy your expression of bewilderment that is brought about by a flurry of technical terms that have as much relevance with each other as Himesh has with acting. I confess I’m heavily influenced by the Dilbert books I’ve been reading, but that has only made me put the obvious truth into words.

Now, as someone who has a reputation of doing just the same (sample here), I think I’ll let you in on the secrets of effective Droppings. First lets identify the scenarios wherein you might need to resort to dropping.

Scenario 1: Status reports

Any status report meeting, simplicity is a vice. When it’s a question of explaining your screw up or in the rare case of exaggerating your accomplishments, it always serves well to make it complex. Remember, there are people who might see through your bluff and hence never commit yourself.
Eg:
U: “We are 2 days behind schedule. The modules on interoperability of the interface and making the tool vendor independent would require more analysis”
Him: “The what? Where did that even come into the picture?”
U: “I made it a point of analysis to ensure the power ratings and latency related problems of the vendors do not hamper the performance of our tool. For this we need to collect the tech specification from the diff vendors and ensure there’s no anamoly”
If you thought any of it is supposed to make sense – think again! By the time the other person recovers from the shock, you are free to get back to your browsing.

Scenario 2: Project documentation (Applicable to college students as well)

Well this is one lesson that is taught in college. A project report is something everyone demands but no one reads. But keep it in mind that everyone wants to pretend they are going through and hence point out some spelling mistake or the other.
Droppings here must comprise of abbreviations and if engineering project, a lot of greek alphabets. You might as well add telugu and tamil alphabets to emphasize it’s a genuine work. They always look nice in reports.
Abbreviations – make them up as much as you can and you can always say you’ve listed it in the look up table. In fact this works in status reports as well. You can always christen stuff like “That Icky Gooey Stuff” as TIGS and expand it later as some Thermally Insulated Gallium Silicide. (a 50-50 chance that something of that name actually exists!) Mathematically, 26P4 + 26P3 possibilities for conjuring your own 4 letter and 3 letter Abbreviations!
Next year some lazy junior is gonna take up your project work for reuse and by the time he figures out he’s been heavily loaded with droppings, his project reports would be spiral bound and hence your legacy will be carried on.
(Ya Its ok, you can mention me in acknowledgement and this blog in your bibliography)

Scenario 3: Code Red Scenarios

Ok, this is when you are in deep shit like having to explain what caused the system to crash. What’s different from the earlier scenarios is that here you better pray you can get away with it.
In such scenarios try to be highly generic. Use words like ‘possibly’, ‘probably’, ‘may’ every sentence and then use not more than 3 technical words a sentence. Preferably, try to get it right.
Eg: If your application had crashed while you were playing online Halo on your laptop, truth can crucify you. But for any chance of salvation you need to report accurate data. “While testing for performance of the tool when running a graphic intensive application over the web server, the system performance possibly deteriorated due to memory constrains of the processor”
Hurts no one, but talk about the weather if you are asked to repeat this [;)]

Scenario 4: Blip in the Radar

If you find two guys in an animated discussion of something too technical with grins and lols between each statement, the chances are high that they are talking about something so trivial. If you look around, you might find the triviality not too far from them.
This topic I can’t explain with too many details, but I can tell you this works like a charm. If you actually got what point I’m driving at, the chances are you don’t need any more explanation [:D]
If you don’t, ignore them as jackasses and get on with your work.

Scenario 5: For the heck of it

This is the ultimate human nature. Men (and women) play for reactions. And nothing more gratifying than a “Oh Shit!” expression for a performer. I mean you can’t get expression of awe and appreciation without working and hell, like someone wants to do that! Easier way out. Doesn’t it explain the hordes of PJ cracking smart asses that you find at every nook and corner?

So, the next time you are subjected to droppings from an engineer, stop trying to make sense out of it. If you were to get it, they’ll put it in simpler words :) On the contrary if you are an engineer and practicing the philo, cheers to us!

After reading Dilbert and of course seeing a few of my friends struggle, I realized things could have been worse. So here’s a word of thanks to my team and my TL here for making a life lot easier. (Touchwood)

PDA - Public Display of Absurdity

2008-06-24T00:37:00.000-07:00

Popular belief is that with time and usage, your command over a language strengthens. But in my case, the reverse seems to be happening. No, this is not one of those self depreciating statements that expect reassurances from various corners. It’s a realization comforted by the fact that I’m at least slightly better than the commentary team of Set Max and IPL!

Before I go into my English, let me make fun of the IPL commentators. If I go down, I take them down with me. [:D] Probably we are partly responsible for a slightly perversive interpretation skills garnered by endless tirade of Two and a half men (there goes 2 of the 3 words that is interpreted as my “command” over English), but come on!! It can’t be just me.

When Rohan Jadeja took a catch at long off without moving from his place during the finals of the IPL Rameez Raja had this to say. “I can’t understand it. The young fielder totally doesn’t seem to be turned on by the ball in the air!!” (Well, no comments) There are almost a fifty other instances just in the semifinals and the finals (which I watched from start till end) when I wondered how stupid they will feel if it was played back to them.

And what was Ajay Jadeja blabbering all through the extra innings?!! If he had gotten two sentences in succession right, either factually or grammatically, I’m sure I must have missed the show.

If you remember from my earlier blogs (or you’ve heard me tell), I’m the party focal for my team. And of the strong opinion everyone has the right to make a complete fool out of oneself and I exercise every bit of it during these parties. But of late I find myself stopping in mid sentence, even before the punch line of an anecdote, cos I’m not sure about the grammar! Well Hindi, its kind of understandable since I am not still sure of the ki and ka and the ling concept is something that always make me stick to English. But when a reputation of “Talks a lot!!” is at stake, my incomplete sentences and occasional spells of silence are raising a few brows.

While I was trying to come to terms with the fact the instantaneous PJ’s end up being grammatically wrong (which I immediately correct and must stop doing), I kind of sought precedence to PDA(public Display of Absurdity). And these are my findings:

· Navjot Singh Sidhu, immaterial of the fact that he is uttering utter bullshit, says it with all that much confidence that its now termed Sidhuism. Probably a pointer there. (‘uttering utter bullshit’! How about that!)
· Banglore movie posters carry English that might make Wren and Martin perform a Ballet in their graves with occasional effects of banging their heads in the tombstone.
· The panel of commentators in Neo Sports and Set Max as elucidated with examples before.
· The Parliament sessions with the entire lot in whose hands rests the wellbeing of this mighty nation.

Basically, I could include a few more specific examples that might land me in soup (would that make me a crumb?). I’m not alone. Not the elite I agree, but nevertheless popular enough to be comforting. So here I’m better off than what I started with.

PS: For those of you, who understood what I was trying to do here, I have something to say – Sogar ich bekam es nicht :)

Adios.
Afterword: Ever notice how the title of the blog somehow never gives away the content? :D No nothing to it, just an observation.

Where's the balance?

2008-05-21T05:53:00.000-07:00

With people writing articles that are supposed to create an impact on the way we perceive things, I got into thinking, I must write about something that affected me in recent times. But then I realized there was nothing glamorous or ground breaking about common cold. So I decided not to pursue that thought further. [cough]

So I sat there with Rs30 worth Kleenex packet [for reasons I decided not to pursue earlier] talking to my friend on phone. She was all charged up narrating some incident in a pitch that would make glass shatter [it’s the frequency right?]. Apparently an auto driver had got her to her home through a longer route, so instead of the usual Rs15, the meter read Rs18. When asked the auto driver got really hurt and emotionally troubled and so decided to elucidate how cheap she was and pointed out she was the one earning a hefty pay check! My normally docile pal had shouted “SO???” so loud that the communist party prepared for a bandh and Ramadoss prepared to start a procession to support the oppressed.

At this point I had to intervene, for, unwittingly she had started using words in hindi (that had to do with a few animals and social life of the auto wala’s family members) that I had not heard even from my Mumbai and Bengali roomies! So after I calmed her down and promised that karma will prevail and the 3rs will make its way back to her at all cost and bid her good night, I started thinking (ya I did).

Though the auto wala had no right in arguing, wasn’t he used to being not questioned? I mean most people nowadays wouldn’t have thought a sec about giving a twenty rupee note and wouldn’t have asked for the change!! Now the economic class in our country has undergone a major makeover from what it was some ten years back. Now you see malls and supermarkets and lounges where the economic group comprising the IT sector throw away money without once thinking if its actually worth it. So where are the ppl who put the monthly budget and bargain 50 paise on ½ kg atta? Sadly, they too mingle in the same crowd and are the most affected by actions of the careless lot.

Let me explain. A typical employee in a IT company if unmarried (or married for a long time), spends around 12 hours a day in the company that include lunch and in a few cases the breakfast and dinner too. Most cases its more than that and they work weekends too (makes you want to ridicule ppl who argue about life after death. These ppl don’t seem to have one before death!). Anyways, the point is they come out to the world during an odd weekend and suddenly realize they are in a rush to spend. Not only do they end up overpaying for things they don’t even need, but make it a point to act cool about it!! How is it cool to be made a fool?! And their foolishness is going to affect the next tier of consumers who look up the daily price watch and offers before they even set out to shop.

I know I’m kind of generalizing, but this is the true scenario everywhere. How did we make the autowalas and grocery shop owners feel, we won’t ask back for the change? How did we make the B2C sector come up with products that serve no useful purpose and still make us want them?! Beats me.

But somehow after the thought process I decided I’d do my part and not give away money carelessly. As I was feeling a bit good about myself, I got a call from my before mentioned friend. The conversation was something like this

“Abey sorry bey. Boora mat maan,k? “

“Arey.. No Problem re. I understand. Koi baat nahi”

“Ok, Cool. Waise, you remember you owe me Rs 25 for the auto that we shared the other day? Just thought will remind you. Good night. Sweet Dreams”

“…....”

Sure enough, the first thing I did was to put a cell phone reminder for the 25 Rs. Who wants to be damaged by someone who knows too many words!?

Note to friend: Sorry yaar. Couldn’t resist a few exaggerations :D

Palio - a short story

2008-04-07T06:48:00.000-07:00

Note: The following is something i wrote long back when i wanted to explore story writing as a means of expression.

Palio saw his reflection in the mirror. Somehow he was looking at a stranger. In a shiny flowing robe with heavy chains round his neck he was the perfect showman. He had been born for this Usdo used to say. Some people can make a difference to your life, but there are very few who make your life. Palio was who he was because of Usdo.

In his nomadic days with the gypsies, Usdo had adopted Palio, after his dad died in a ‘freak’ accident, as the civilized put it. Well he didn’t see how it was ‘freak’ to fall from the high wire onto the ground fifty feet below when you were totally stoned. But after this Usdo was everything to him. Usdo made him his protégée and taught him everything he knew. Palio was eager to learn and it wasn’t too long before he bettered his mentor. But he was too quite to be a gypsy was the opinion in the camp and some even spoke to him in sign language to prod if he was mute. That never used to bother him because the shell he wore was out of choice. He believed nothing could penetrate his shell. So he ran from the Gypsies on his fifteenth birthday with Usdo’s blessings. “Make your own sky to fly. Your own peaks to scale” he had said.

“Palio!! Are u even listening to me??” demanded a voice that brought him out of his reverie. “Off to your thoughts again? Start living in reality dear!” Amanda. He gave her a second of attention despite the fact that she just hurt his male ego. He wasn’t a sexist but still he preferred not to be told how to live his life even by his wife. “Too bad today will be the last performance in this city” she mumbled. “Yes it is” Palio replied in a non committal dreamy tone.

It was love at first sight. Or so she said. After he joined the Big Circus, he still took pride in his shell. He never spoke unless essential and it was essential for him to find an ‘assistant’ so he can earn more. He felt it was comical that they were called that. Amanda walked in through the tent, a slender tall lasse, answering to the ad in paper. Just the sight of her made him lose his tongue or whatever was left of it. He’d never seen someone as beautiful and it scared him. He remembered trying to explain her work without making eye contact, for the fear he might forget. He somehow felt her glance all over him. ‘Am I looking alright?’, ‘Maybe I should have worn my suit’, ‘Has she left?’ such thoughts kept cropping up amidst his palpitations. When he raised his eyes to meet hers she was smiling at him. She explained she had done this before and so she knew this all and he managed a ‘oh’ wishing for the earth to open and swallow him. They held the eye contact without uttering a word but still conversing a million thoughts and in a week they got married and he relaxed his shell a bit. He even allowed himself an occasional laugh and spoke words that weren’t essential! To him that was an achievement. The next five years he slowly moved from the fill-in to the star attraction and Amanda was there by him, for him, with him. The tours took them across many a cities and villages and watered by the alienity of the towns their love brought them closer and rooted on faith and belief.

His thoughts suffocated him and he felt the need for a smoke. He lit his cigar and walked towards his ‘tools’. They always made him feel confident. They smiled at him and he always felt they longed for his touch. A feeling that comes from years of bonding. He had refused to get new ones because he felt it would be betrayal to abandon his faithful tools. He even had names for each and his favourite was Seda- Usdo’s first knife. He ran his hands over them and felt their sharp edges coming to life on his touch. To him they meant more than his means of bread. His friends. His talisman for the love he had for Amanda. The proof of the trust she had on him.

When he started out with juggling the knives at the circus, he was disappointed. Usdo had prepared him for more. He could sever the fruit from the tree and cut it to four before it could even strike the ground! He could hit a bulls eye on a moving truck immaterial of the speed. His knives never failed him. And he never failed them. He had needed an ‘assistant’ who would trust him and do as he said to awe the audience, to become the showman he wanted to become. But in times when you can’t even trust your shadow this was next to impossible till Amanda came. She trusted him completely, a trust that could only come from blind love. He could hit the bulls-eye blindfold while she moved rhythmically with his target. She could make graceful movements while he threw the knives outlining her on the piece of wood! Such was the trust and understanding between the three – Him, Amanda and the knives. When on the move he preferred to caress his knives, talking to them like they were his kids, while Amanda slept. Kids – They tried in earnest. Somehow they were not blessed. He didn’t seem to care but was aware of his wife’s anxiety. She was ten years older than him and had the nature’s deadlines to worry about. He had tried to be understanding but somehow he ended up getting frustrated. He cared. But he was helpless.

As a drop of tear began to blur his vision he wiped his eyes and went to the tent and peeked out towards the audience. There he was. Seated in his usual first row was Nathan Lamborgi. Palio despised everything about him

It had been the second show in this particular town. An entire school had come to the circus as part of their school trip. Children have been the perfect audience. They were always ready to be enthralled. To be awed. To be entertained. Unfortunately it was too much for Amanda. She was distracted all through the performance and during the blindfold act a knife had scraped her leg. Palio heard the sound of horror that was different from the usual awe. Amanda did her best not to react but the pain showed. Once back in the dressing room the disappointment preceded concern and Palio couldn’t hide his frustration. People had blamed him saying he was losing his touch. And when Amanda started sobbing about the kids Palio lost it. “If that is all the trust u have in my virility why don’t you leave!?” he had screamed and stormed out of the room leaving her crying profusely. Nathan Lamborgi the Board president of the local club had sought a backstage audience that night and a fuming Palio walking past him had left him in two minds whether to enter or not. He had entered to express his concern for Amanda and ended up holding together her fragile and vulnerable self. He was smart, sensitive and understanding and the right person to be there to hold her from falling apart. When Palio came to his senses and returned to comfort her he found his Amanda holding hands with a stranger. He had left without a word. The next day before the show he had received an invitation for dinner from Nathan that he tore into the maximum number of pieces possible. After the show Nathan had approached again and to him it seemed Amanda was eager to go. “Come on Palio. Its an honor to be invited by such a respected gentleman.” He went along and was silent all through the dinner while Nathan went about making her laugh with stories playing the perfect host. That night after they returned Palio apologized to Amanda and told her he didn’t want to go out again. She seemed to understand and assured him they won’t need to go again. Before every show she would receive flowers that seemed to bring a smile on her face and a frown on his. The harder he tried to find solace in his shell the more suffocated he felt. He kept blaming himself and it had its effect on his performance. He transformed his misery into meaningless anger at himself and the world in general. Make your own skies. He had tried and ended up with an illusion of greatness with clouds of doubt decorating his blues.

“You’re on next Palio” announced a dwarf. Palio slowly walked back to his room and saw the flowers with a card “Love Nathan”. He walked to his knives and saw them smiling at him. He smiled at them and went to the mirror to touch up. He again saw the stranger in the mirror. “All set to go dear?” Amanda helped him into his coat and held his hands in hers the way she did before every performance. Somehow the warmth was absent today. “You all right Palio?” echoed the concern in her voice. He managed to smile “Absolutely”. She knew with that something was definitely not right. When people are bonded together more is conveyed with the words that weren’t said. “What is bothering you?” He couldn’t maintain eye contact and when he was looking for a way out “You’re on in a min” announced someone. He hastily tried to break from her. She squeezed a bit longer and uttered “I love you Palio” before she let go. She went onto the stage leaving behind a tear drop in his hands.

When Palio entered he was greeted with heavy applause, something he was used to but somehow his feet seemed to hesitate. He took one glance towards Nathan whose eyes were fixed on Amanda and he wished looks could kill. And then he imagined he saw Amanda returning his smile. He looked away and noticed two young kids sharing some joke with their mom and somehow he felt they were laughing at him. He closed his eyes and felt a trickle of tear on his cheeks. Wiping it away gave a wide smile to his blinding lights. He was ready for The show. He didn’t focus much on his warm up tricks which he could do in his sleep. Has his world approached Armageddon, he wondered? The crowd was cheering with renewed enthusiasm.

Amanda was positioning herself next to the big board and gave a broad smile to the audience. She positioned the melon right below her chest where it was supposed to be. Palio bowed to the crowd and reached for his knives. He took one look at Nathan now talking with someone with his eyes still fixed on Amanda. His Amanda. He closed his eyes and met her eyes. She was smiling but soon it faded. She knew. Now her eyes were pleading with horror and disbelief and with eyes welling up Palio lipped “I Love you” and threw the knife. Straight at her heart. There was gasp and a second of Stunned silence before anyone could react. Then people were running towards Amanda. A kid’s shrieking was the last thing he heard as he fell to the ground unclenching his favorite knife – Seda.

Jodhaa Akbar

2008-02-25T01:21:00.000-08:00

I wanted to watch Jodhaa Akbar for a long time and then I got my wish, literally – I watched the movie for a loooong time! After surprising myself with efforts on my part to book tickets in advance for almost the entire lot for a weekday night show(fiscal benefits), little did I imagine it would be a night-early morning show. But ya with the reviews highly polarized, I wouldn’t say I was too disappointed or happy about it.

First, when I say I know Hindi, I mean I can understand and converse if the southie accent is tolerated (and know enough so as to not to express my awe at the enormity of shopping malls with a “Kya mall hai!!”) But I’d be damned for thinking I was going to a hindi movie! (someone told me few of the dialogues were Urdu, Phew) . It was Antennas class all over again and when faced with such a situation we (ya I include a few of the puritan Hindi speaking people in the hall too) did the most natural thing one can do – grin stupidly. Anytime there was a long stretch of dialogue, we ended up lolin in the hall ignoring the nasty looks of one or two people who were actually trying to understand every word. (Yes I got the gist and meaning of it all, Thank you)

And by God, I couldn’t control laughing at the Khwaja song! The song in my opinion has been the song of the year so far, absolute brilliance of the maestro evident in the instruments and the mixing. The rendition is so superb that I have no words to describe the genius! But the video, well, its quite another thing. The expression of the co-singers when one of them is singing or how 4 different people can sing in the same voice or how they suddenly start advertising for mortein or tortoise by swatting from side to side or how every time the guy goes into high pitch they show the women crying! And making Hritik dance was the last straw. Comeon, we know he’s a good dancer but he doesn’t need to dance in every movie!!

On the plusses in the movie, the chemistry between the lead pair was good.(the physics wasn’t bad either) They have quite loyally stuck to showing it as a romantic movie without trying to focus too much into the conquests of Akbar. The battle scenes were decent and the background score amazing. The camera work was good and managed to capture the picturesque landscapes and palaces.

As if making up for the Khwaja song the title track was choreographed beautifully. The costumes and jewellery befit a period film and has been paid great attention to. And though I’m not a great fan of Aishwarya or Hritik, they’ve done a good job.

When I walked out of the theatre at 2.30 in the night with just the thought of when I’ll go home to my bed , I wasn’t by any chance judging the movie (Happy ending. Everyone was happy when it ended) But on hind sight, it’s a commendable effort amidst the mediocre masala films and might even be worthy of the hype given. So I would recommend, you watch it once cos such movies are not made on everyday basis.

And with that recommendation here’s a nice thought that I thoroughly enjoyed.
“Never go to bed angry.
Stay up and plot your revenge.”

Adios

PS:When i reread, I realised i use long sentences. Well, What do i say? Just thank God i'm not a judge :)

Terms of Endearment

2008-02-13T22:42:00.000-08:00

It hates me.

I know, not the kind of post one would expect on a day of false cheerfulness, unsaid expectations, uncomfortable silences and of course a very thinning wallet. Since none of them concern me and I’m of the opinion only murders are to be committed, not a 22 year old (of course those grapes are sour), let me come back to the issue at hand. The ‘it’ in context is my office comp.

Like kids from most middle class families in the 90s down south, I grew up watching serials on Doordarshan during the most impressionable stages of growing up. One of the characters that used to amuse me was the shape embedded in cosmos from Mahabharath which goes like “Main (long pause) Samay (long pause) Hoon” till the next break. I used to wonder can anything be more slower than this, till I saw the dialogue delivery in junoon.

Now you must see my computer here and you’ll see why I got reminded of these. Of course my comp in accordance with the new technologies exhibits ultra slow motion, bullet-time, freeze frame and many such amazing technologies that it has no business incorporating and not when I am using it!

Of course the relation I share with my compiler is something so special, especially just before major releases of my tool.(by that I mean product, don’t skew it) It reminds me of those old bollywood movie scenes between the ‘gaon ki gori’ and ‘shehari babu’. Just when the ‘shehari babu’ puts in all his efforts and thinks he’s gonna get somewhere with ‘gaon ki gori’, she gets up abruptly and delivers dialogue on sanskar and parampara in a shrill voice looking at the ground and exits leaving the guy baffled. Well almost similar here, only all I expect is some output and all I get is highlighted exceptions! (Most time it works the 2nd time without me having to change anything)

And though I know, I demand a lot with 14 windows open at any given point of time (12 of which are blogs/cartoons), I feel sometimes it does things just to piss me off. Just the other day it shut down all the open windows and demanded to be restarted or will go and complain to Microsoft. And worse still, it hides my folders when I want it (I’m serious) and doesn’t allow me to connect to other systems and asks me to go to hell (contact network administrator). There are times when it makes the electronics engineer in me wants to rip its circuitry apart, capacitor for capacitor, till the silicon in its diodes hurts. Of course the fact that the IS team will render me penniless (paisa less in the Indian context) if I do that, keeps me in check.

My comp at home also used to conspire against me and keep disconnecting me from the net whenever I’m chatting with a girl after ten in the night or shutting down on its own when I’m playing games before my exams. I strongly suspected my mom’s hand in this and wondered how she could have done that for a long time till I met my office comp. Now I kind of resigned to the fact that Its just my luck. And I’m gonna put up with its every mood swing in the hope this experience will help me someday in the near future. And yes for all those who sympathized with the computer (yes, I mean you two), ya I will try to understand its perspective and will love it not despite its flaws but along with its flaws. (from a forward that made as much sense as Raj Thackrey’s ideology)

These are afterall the terms and conditions of the long association of endearment. So while I learn to try to be more understanding and keep my psycho-cyber tendencies under check, for all those people who believe in winged fat kids shooting arrows here’s a quote to mull over.

“The difference between ‘involvement’ and ‘commitment’ is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast. The hen was involved and the pig was committed” – Anonymous

Happy Valentines Day!

Just another post

2008-02-04T22:13:00.000-08:00

I’ve been hearing a lot of “You know sometimes I feel I can happily murder you?” lately. I can right now imagine the reactions of 5 different people who when they read would give a jump and go like “Don’t tell me, he’s written about THAT here!!”

No I’m not taking any credit for bringing the psycho social tendencies cos what followed that statement was either smileys or grins that usually conveyed the fact that they were actually happy about “THAT”.[:D] In other words they were just kidding. Now I know at least 5 other people who would go like “Damn!” and give out a shake of their head and later reiterate the fact that I’m jobless.

The conclusion one might draw from the above passage other than the obvious that some wish I were imaginary is that I have confidence in the fact that I know the people around me. One of my orkut testimonials read “He thinks he’s figured the human race” (followed by heavy sarcasm that I choose to omit). Well I don’t think that high but I’m of the opinion everyone’s an open book if you know to read between the lines. That would kind of explain my let-me-tell-you-about-you sessions after 4-5 meetings (if you haven’t got one that means I have an opinion on how you will react). Of course the “You are right” or the “Mostly right” I receive at the end of such sessions doesn’t do much to discourage me from this bad habit.

I choose to call it a bad habit cos it doesn’t do me much of good. I end up assuming most stuff, that I’m sure is right, but never take the necessary steps to be surprised. Very similar to people who play the entire game of chess verbally before making a simple move and end up frustrating the entire lot. Thankfully in my case I don’t put it verbally too often. Of course I have been wrong and am sure will be in most cases, but there’s nothing to learn here cause as Michael Crichton says “Even an educated guess is just a guess”

But still I was surprised last weekend when I got in contact with one of my friends. She was telling me how wretched her life has become by stating as reasons incidents and characters that you meet in almost everyday life! So I thought I should tell her she is not facing any problem and its common place so she might feel better. I did so and got it back nicely on how rude I was and she wasn’t looking to be comforted. What stunned me most was when she said “You are not like what you were before”.

Which made me wonder, what was I before! Being a “party focal” for my team, which includes arranging birthday parties and making others pay for treats for some arbit reason, talking is something I have to do to avoid a party where everyone is all aloof and eat and go. Most of the times I find I’m the only one talking , cracking the most pathetic PJs/wit as one sees it and make the birthday baby state what was mentioned in the first para of this blog. So when I said, “In my college days, some people thought I was a really silent person” they said the only two positive words that can be a negative – “Ya right!”.

Incidentally, it is true. You can ask one of my juniors who said the same about me in public (and regretted it the next 2 years cursing and swearing the day she said I was silent and ‘paavam’ type). So looking back I guess somewhere down the line I had become silent or given people the impression. Where I had limited my retorts to a select set of people who kind of knew who I was. Where I was there to understand problems even without expressing and put people at ease.

But like the Canara bank makeover tag says ‘We change for the ones we love' and in my case the next line that comes to my mind is from HHGTG “If there’s anything more important than my ego, I want it caught and shot now!” :)

I kind of realized so far down that the starting and ending of this blog doesn’t have much relevance. But what the hell. To conclude the first topic, it doesn’t matter if I’m wrong, I still will go about being the same. And for the second topic, as I always believe everything happens for a reason.

Will post something that makes more sense soon.

Columbus did not need directions and neither do i!

2008-01-14T20:35:00.000-08:00

Scene 1: (Some 2 years ago)

“Gary! Look!! 8 ‘o Clock!!”

The excitement in the voice being infectious, I took my best guess and found what could be better left described as “thing” and with a shake of my head conveyed “Bad Taste!! Cha! I feel sorry for you.. Tch”

Obviously a very frustrated friend of mine muttered between grinding teeth “That was 4 ‘O CLOCK!!”

And then I tried to salvage some pride by reasoning ”You never mentioned whether it was your 8 or mine!! How would I know..” By this time my brain caught up with my tongue the damage was done and while it admonished the tongue, put on a silly expression to display.

(for those of you who didn’t get the reason for the silly look, he was sitting in front of me and so 8’O clock his or mine, will never make a 4.. Welcome to the club :D)

Word spreads and soon after, I began to be tested by some really jobless creatures (for want of better term) put on this world, on which direction I’m facing and stating stuff like why one shouldn’t be brought up on digital watches!!

Scene 2: (a month back)

My roomies were performing an online airline reservation and I happened to be there lazing around. This was their conversation.

“Hey which seat do I take?”

“Wait. The flight is headed north east during the day which means the sun will be to the east side that would mean on your left. So a right window seat must be perfect. Had it been going west..”

Following a silence I look up to find both my roomies giving each other knowing looks and before the realization sunk in, this is what happened:

“Gary.. “ said both together and one started laughing holding his stomach and the other was rolling on the floor laughing.

First up, I’m not directionally dyslexic (if even that condition exists). I can read a map with the legend and the knowledge of the fact that west Bengal lies to east of India. Other than that, I’ve never had the need to know what direction I’m facing or in which direction I should head to reach a place (I can always ask and well, Magellon did prove the fact that earth is spherical). So whenever someone goes into the serious tone and says “You should not lack direction in your life”, I end up grinning.

Now the clock, I can read time and that serves my purpose. I can’t see myself flying a Mig anytime in the near future to be given directions in O’Clock. I’m not even interested in the simulator games!! Of course I can interpret but just that I take my own sweet time to decipher. So if you want me to get to look at some thing, in time, don’t use time. I can always get the broad picture (pun intended)

So the next time someone is going to say “Look! 20* north of west at an azimuth of 40*!!” I’ll possible yawn and say “Shut up”. I’m never THAT curious. [:D] I simply don’t care J

PS: The heading, I realized Columbus probably used all the compasses and stuff to head in the direction he did. So stop analyzing it too much :D

Overstating the underplayed (whatever that means!!)

2008-01-06T02:09:00.000-08:00

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Marianne Williamson
Used by Nelson Mandela in his speech in 1994

When our MD quoted this at the end of his New Year pep talk, my first remark was “Oh!! That explains!!” To the bewildered people around me, I just offered the silly grin that has become characteristic with my PJs. It did kind of explain why people who score 45+ out of 50 in exams came out of the hall saying they are going to flunk (and then treat people fudges [;)]) or why my colleague and good friend claims she’s going to be torn apart in the appraisal while all she works is 18 hours a day (Damn, I should have got the video of her saying that!!). But since even I’ve been accused on the first charge and it is not just about the marks or the appraisal and somewhere in between modesty and humility gets smudged, I think the quote deserves much more thought.

Leave out God from the above quote to make it generic. Whenever any us feel good about ourselves we like to nurture the warm glow within our hearts. Is it the fear of letting it radiate and mutate into burning in someone else’s stomach? Or the constant weight of negative thoughts that ask us what if it doesn’t work that way? The rationale we like to offer to defend. The sure shot way to disprove is let someone else say the same about you. And your ego asks a hundred questions on the rights or the qualifications of the accuser to belittle you.

But does that mean we are to go around counting our chickens before the rooster even meets the hen? That we let people in on our own insecurities or doubts on what if we fail? That humility and modesty are unwarranted luxuries that serve only to anger the onlookers to whom your happiness is stark naked? I think the quote talks of all these between the lines.

Everyone has his or her own inhibitions and doubts to cope with. And at such times a lot of negative thoughts cloud the mind and makes us believe we are not capable and not just that, noone can! When at such a juncture, someone says it can be done and has been done and it brings in immense happiness, those who are on the verge of giving up will reconsider. Forget the disbelief or ridicule, but the ego retorts, if he can do it, so can I. There is no point in underplaying one’s achievements if by that you can instill in others a willingness to exert them towards excellence. Apparently this is what happens behind the scenes of the envy and acrid remarks the “modest” face. By being modest they are denying to let them be benchmarked for others to look up to. For others to try to succeed. For others to compete with. For others to taste glory.

I guess too heavy a philosophy, but the thought is lovely. The irony that everyone is identical in the fact that they want to be deemed unique.

What can be done? How would i know!! Its your life!! I muse, not preach.

Anyways, that is a quote cut out for these pep talks. Of course my MD would be horrified at how someone could go entirely off the target in grasping what he meant and go on to write a blog!! Tough luck Sir, that’s life, the answer to which is 14 (42 = life, the universe and everything ;) )*

Let me get back to watching the hopeless movies on Tv and drown India’s defeat by swearing at the umpires before I start one more week trying to do something to justify my salary.

Have a great week ahead!!

* The PJ was the brainchild (??) of my apartment mate. Since our company advocates reuse, I’ve shamelessly used it where there was no need. Just my way of appreciation [:P]

The Year That Was

2007-12-31T22:31:00.000-08:00

When you get the same mail a billion times from a billion different sources, it usually means, some stupid forward that has a “if you don’t forward” clause or its new year and people don’t want to be creative and send off the mail that comes to them. So after my outlook express started cribbing about being cramped for space, I decided to clear my inbox, since most of the time not giving the space estranges relationships (I sure don’t want to strain ties with outlook ;) ). Here I’m, resigned to the fact that I won’t be working anymore this year (As if I did before this) and wondering what is all the fuss about a regular calendar event that serves our people an excuse to getting drunk.

It has been not so bad a year. Under Valium I might even say it has been good, though Pluto might disagree being stripped off its planetary status (but ya, as if it gives a damn about some bundle of amino acids on a piece of rock). India won the T20, Bollywood Movies weren’t that bad, a lot of good books published, Cost of living has increased a bit, share market was good, rupee doing great, Indians ruled the global market, global warming was discussed a little less this year and Priyanka Chopra is still single and available :). So for an average Indian citizen it has been a satisfying year.

Of course global issues like Pakistan’s continuing misery and US troops stationed in Iraq, do seem to do what they are meant for, giving people perspective and make India look a lot better.

On a personal front, I’ve got my degree and blended into the corporate sector. Survived one year in Bangalore, the first half trying to save money to survive and the 2nd half trying best not to get robbed by the Government. Did 80% of the stuff on my list of things I won’t even dream of doing (walked ramp, enacted playing drums in a rock band, got down on my knees with flowers!!!). Learnt a few valuable lessons that life taught me in its course. Made a whole load of new friends to bug. On the whole a pretty even road with just the right amount of pit falls to call it part of life.

So I guess I’m looking forward to the new year after all without all the hype and excitement, just trying to outguess what it holds for me. Promises deadlines and more goals to achieve probably. One year from now, I hope I can say the same about 2008 as I did about 2007. Thank you life.

Made some ad hoc plans and have already gotten 2 msgs with anatomical and sociological terminolgies asking me what i'm doing in office still!

Guess new year eve is not so bad after all :)

Happy New Year!!

Sush, Shhhhhh!

2007-12-21T22:26:00.000-08:00

Yet another star was made to wish, “eat your words” is more than just an idiom. This time it is none other than Sushmita Sen who is in the eye of the storm with PILs and angry Indian women who are deeply hurt by her remarks on chastity and virginity.

When I read that it was because of an excerpt in Tamil newspaper I couldn’t stop laughing. Being a tamilian, I know for a fact how sensationalistic those magazines and newspapers are. I mean imagine an entire edition that advertises, it describes in graphic detail a gang rape of a small kid over 20 pages, claiming people have the right to know!! Absolutely preposterous! I fear going into conniptions at the very thought.

But that apart, it made me wonder how the judicial system decides to play its role. On it trying to do its duty by punishing people who might have violated their right of speech by monitoring hundreds of dailies and journals everyday!! What with so many pending cases and litigations that plead attention.

When someone as high up in the judiciary, as a judge of a high court, reacts so fervently, it makes you wonder whether there might be some amount of truth to the entire allegations. Lets me try to assess why or how the entire moral fabric will start tearing apart at the seams when an icon expresses her opinion in response to a journalist’s query between questions of her recent AIDS awareness campaign.

How fickle minded do we Indians rate ourselves? How easy is it to influence us? I mean how many of the junta decided to adopt a kid as a single parent after the same celebrity did so? When Sushmita Sen decided to support the HIV +ve widow of her staff (who was HIV +ve) and her two sons, how many of us decided to support atleast the cause? When she pledged to donate her organs, how many of the public did so? How many of us decided to support special children education just because this celebrity did so?

If the answer to the majority of the questions above is any figure in double digits or more, I agree that by her statement she has set a bad example and scores of people will decide to throw away their virginity just because she doesn’t think that concept exist in the current scenario. Because we people have no brains of our own and our moral fiber has to be held in place only by these celebrities and celluloid. And on their failing to reach the public, we need 15 news channels and 100 newspapers to highlight what they said just in case people didn’t pay attention.

When the same situation plagued other celebrities it was equally stupid and all the aforementioned sarcasm and cynicism would apply in their defense too. I mean Richard Gere and Shilpa Shetty kissing was made such a big issue that the fact that it was an event organized to garner support for kids affected by AIDS was totally lost.

It reminds me of Shyamalan’s Sixth Sense where the ghosts see only what they want to see. I guess the media sees only what they can sell. Ironically people haunted by the media seem to be more in number than ghosts.

Its time to take up more sensible issues that need attention. (when I typed that I realized the same could be said about my choice of blog content :) ).I guess all said and done its that point where I try to rationalize what prompted me to write this. Other than to keep my writing streak going or that I’m directing new people to my blog page, I respect Sushmita Sen. Amidst scores of celebrities who offer lip service to social causes (or just lip services on screen) here is someone who goes the whole yard in doing what she believes in.

My personal take: Morals are something every person has to uphold as part of a nation that takes pride in its culture. I completely disagree with Sushmita Sen on what she said being a representative of India on the global arena. But again, everyone is entitled to their own opinions, As long as they don’t try to impose it on others.

Merchandise of the Devil's workshop

2007-12-11T03:45:00.000-08:00

Note: Ramblings basically. But the excerpt struck quite a chord and so decided to post it anyway.

“Basically, you can think of a multi-agent environment as something like a chessboard, and the agents like chess pieces. The agents interact on the board to attain a goal, just the way the chess pieces move to win a game. The difference is that nobody is moving the agents. They interact on their own to produce the outcome.

If you design the agents to have memory, they can know things about their environment. They remember where they've been on the board, and what happened there. They can go back to certain places, with certain expectations. Eventually, programmers say the agents have beliefs about their environment, and that they are acting on those beliefs. That's not literally true, of course, but it might as well be true. It looks that way.

But what's interesting is that over time, some agents develop mistaken beliefs. Whether from a motivation conflict, or some other reason, they start acting inappropriately. The environment has changed but they don't seem to know it. They repeat outmoded patterns. Their behaviour no longer reflects the reality of the chessboard. It's as if they're stuck in the past.
In other multi-agent programs, they just get bypassed, pushed to the periphery while the main thrust of agents moves on. Some programs have a "grim reaper" module that sifts them out from time to time, and pulls them off the board.

But the point is, they're stuck in their own past. Sometimes they pull themselves
together, and get back on track. Sometimes they don't!”

Prey - Michael Crichton

When Darwin proclaimed we walked down from the trees, the reactions varied from angry disbelief to stunned awe. He spoke of evolution in terms of vestigial cortex bones and skull structure that people cared so less about that they nothinged it. And then the environmentalists spoke of adaptation that occurs continuously and gave examples of moths that developed pigmentation to escape from the predators. This was greeted with equal indifference. Though these are contexts that span centuries or decades, not concerning us, the people, there are more subtle evolutions that happen in the life cycle of a normal human being imbibing in them the need to change. Some call it maturing, some say it’s the phase of life, I call it more of a desperate measure.

No one likes to change, in any manner unless its almost inevitable. A lot of factors play a part in bringing about even the most simple change in a person. And that is what makes the entire scenario unpredictable cos these factors include the people around you and a small change in them triggers chaos when multiple ‘environments’ are involved. My recent interest in game theory is what made me see the role of the other players in your decisions and actions. Here we are not concerned with just the presence of other agents but also the absence of agents that were present.

I’ve had this habit of trying to extrapolate the observations I make about people to their reaction to different scenarios. The worst part is I used to tell them what was going on in their mind just by the first word they tell me(if I knew they are ready for it). This is because immaterial of the change in environment the basic nature of a person remains the same at least over a frame of time. Now I’ve started holding back my ‘insights’ cos I realised how much I value my own personal space. A decison that comes from often putting yourself into other's shoes a lot (which am not gonna do more often for a) fear of dermatitis b) its just not worth it)

The problem with trying to extrapolate your own behaviour is that either way you lose. You are right, u can’t do anything about it. U are wrong, u don’t know yourself. Its more like a recursive loop without a exit criteria. Once u ask more questions than you need to, u just can’t get out of it, and the system gets hung. The series of events that got me started on this have now gone stale. But the lessons learnt will hopefully be preserved.

This is possibly the most incoherent I’ve been since my antenna paper in my 6th semester. But my new found ego decided to post it anyway. Will be back on track soon(Thank you Mr.Crichton).

Bengaluru - Of Wow Bows and Bad Spells

2007-11-20T03:59:00.000-08:00

Well guess who's become a corporate! i should have seen it coming. All the lunch time bitching about the company, changing proxies to access chat, staying late night surfing the net, gulping down amounts of coffee that matches Brazil's annual export(World trade! :O) - So obvious that the business card that proclaims i'm an engineer seems redundant! (the work done may fit in somewhere?)

Apart from letting me show off on my blog page to the 5-6 people who ever visit this page(I generally over estimate too), this brought me to Bangalore! 10 months in this place so far and I still can’t speak more than 3 words in kannda. Every 2nd guy u meet speaks fluent hindi and every 3rd guy has a girlfriend!! (I’m the 1st person here - broken hindi and …)

Banglore- supposed to be the city of gardens. One visit to the garden here, Lal Bagh, and Richard Gere would go into conniptions at the Indian hypocrisy on PDA!! Banglore- the city of endless traffic jams, of balding software professionals, of fat chics who dress up as if Mallika Sherawat is their first cousin, of divas who can prop open jaws as frequent as India can lose matches(both are reducing nowadays) and that of extremely stylish dogs!

According to me the dogs of a city are the true index of its style quotient. One look at the dogs and u can comment on the life style of the city’s people and the climate. Let me explain with an example. Chennai – The tired and scared dogs that bask in the shade, scourging for food all day, keeping their distance from people can be extrapolated to the life style of the people in the city. Booming with middle class and lower middle class, these people work hard and try to stay out of trouble and still radiate warmth.

In Banglore, the dogs are least scared of other people. They even sit always cross legged and don’t bother to move away from the foot path. When we extrapolate it to the people what we get is a city of thousands of software professionals with an income of 5 per year, who aren’t bothered about anyone, busy in their own world. Though it’s a cool way of living in an already cool place, the right amount of warmth is just found wanting.

One more thing that you’ll notice if you pay attention is their cleverly disguised war against all other languages. It is not just bad English that I’m talking about, u might find that in any state or city. Here they purposefully slip in a terribly spelt common word in permanent paint on some major hoarding and none of the buses write the destination in English. Our canteen menu is where I realized they actually do it to play around. One day for lunch we had a menu that read “Kosu Kootu and Baygon Dry”!! (Kosu is mosquito in tamil). And for all the regard they have for engineers, one of the shops proclaimed “Yenjineering work done here” (mallu mostly I suppose!)

And here is also the city where joggers and pedestrians take over the road early in the morning (I can’t give witness statement as I wake up at 8.30!) and the bikers take revenge by taking over the foot paths after 8!!! One look at the road and u would see dented cars and autos on 2 wheels battling between the buses while bikers detach themselves from the road only to block the footpaths! If you get bumped by any of the above mentioned, u get to be the target of multilingual abuse by the entire junta on wheels for causing a traffic jam. Seriously in no other town where I have gone before would I need to start 2.5 hours before time for a train and still catch it on the run.

And yet this is a city I have kind of fallen in love with. Not just the chics or the food (which btw I’m not too fond of), but the sense of indifference of the people that allows one to dissolve into the mob where u are just a face in the crowd somehow suits my current mindset. Trust me, I know most of us want the exact opposite, but for me this is just fine.

So here’s to Bangalore – my new home away from home(Chennai - always :) )!!

Travelogue

2007-10-24T22:47:00.000-07:00

Note: This has been all the writing i have ever managed to complete in the past 5 months if you exclude my mostly fabricated project report that earned me my Engineering Degree. Now i'm supposedly an engineer(Yup thats what my card reads). This is an account of the team outbound that our company sponsored and was written for the inhouse magazine.

Travelogue

Disclaimer: All events are factual though the interpretations were taken liberty on. If anything in the following account can be interpreted in more than one way and one of them puts events in bad light, then I obviously meant the other one.

For all working professionals, the best time of the week is always Friday evening. And on one such joyous evening(28th Sept), the TPC, GPO and the InitMedia teams prepared themselves for the team outbound to Chikamagalore, graciously sponsored by Honeywell. Owing to quite a large number of pull-outs the number was 14 that included the entire TPC team, half the GPO and a representation from the InitMedia.

Pick up points strewn across the heavily congested Bangalore roads combined with Indian punctuality made it a slow and silent start. And it took about half an hour into the journey for our people to decide to get into high spirits.

An unexpected failure of lights led the group to break into a round of Antakshari that showcased Honeywell principles of reuse and innovation! (invented lyrics , remix versions and the same song hundred times over). Undeterred by the bus driver’s efforts to make us stop by playing loud music or fixing the lights or the under the breath mutterings of people who were trying to sleep, the contest went on and on till each one flopped tired and the teams called it a tie. While a few nocturnal souls extended the team building activities to forming sets and dealing hands, dawn met us in the scenic outskirts of Chikamagalore.

TexWood Resorts where we were accommodated is situated in a span of 250 acres of coffee plantation. The tall towering bamboos and the curving path amidst the greenery, not to mention the bumpy ride by jeep, helped switch gears to holiday mood. Away from traffic and civilization (no cell phone tower!), this was peace like never before. The resort looked into picturesque scenery and it was more of a home stay with pampering comfortable rooms and good food. Took some effort from our part not to surrender to the comforts and stay in all day. After breakfast the group got divided on the basis of love for adventure or love for cricket.

Pumped up by India’s T20 victory (and before the Australian demolished the same), the cricket lovers amongst us, decided to battle it out. A tricky pitch where the challenges just kept mounting, the stage was set for games of absolute spirit. Moss laded outfield, where slip was not just a fielding position, with towering barb wire fencing, it was a picture out of the World’s Most Difficult grounds. With Ravi managing to dispatch the ball with ease between slipping fielders and Srihari getting the most number of wickets, everyone had chipped in and had gotten in touch with their inner child. Blinder catches and Direct hit runouts, the playing lot sure did give some tips that can be useful to the Indian team. To describe in one word the efforts – Josh.

The second group, counting on the strength of the legs, decided to flirt with nature in the pretense of a trek. Accompanied by Ramesh (a Jimmy Hendrix inspired, silent TexWood employee) to guide us, and warned not to pluck the oranges from the orchard on the way (which meant we stopped at every orange tree), six of us set out on a 2.5 km trek through the forest which was, well, set up nicely with a “How much more to go?” two minutes into the trek.

With the camera shutters fluttering all the way and incessant yapping, we reached the fishing pond maintained by the resort. All the first timers tried our luck, with no intention of letting any of those fishes die (Pavani the most successful with 3 amidst Megha’s frantic “Let it go!!” from the second there was a tug on the line).From there, A few steep climbs and descents later we reached our next destination, a small stream with a wooden bridge, that was to become the 2nd most memorable event of the day.

Well, all of us were used to going with the flow. But when we got a chance to do it literally, believe me, it was an absolutely amazing experience (though our backs might disagree). Splashing water on each other and resorting to every possible antic that would have given an aquatic being an inferiority complex, that was the most fun one can imagine to ever have.

Still it was the 2nd most memorable event because after some nerve pulls and drip drying, our rendezvous with the blood sucking creatures began(I’m not talking about capitalists here). Though actually a painless affair, the sight of a leech wiggling on one’s legs is sufficient to scare the hell out of you claims Poornima. She would know better. With frantic reactions that kept any mistaken wild animal out of our path, the walk back kept all of us busy, mainly Vishwa who had to remove the Leeches every ten steps from the affected party’s legs. But that in no way dampened the yapping capabilities and we reached back thanks to a mid way lift, with gloating smiles of achievement and a glee inerasable from our faces recounting the tryst with nature.

After a few more games of cricket in the evening and a whole lot of set building in the afternoon, the preparations for the camp fire began. Intoxicated by nature, polluted by blaring music, everyone shook their legs around the campfire (of course after a lot of persuasion) immaterial of whether it was Himesh extending a single syllable unendingly or a typical “Dabbanguthu” in tamil (Manju deserves special mention for his amazing Dance performance). The show was completely stolen by a kid, from one of the families staying at the resort, who wanted to join in on the fun. Amritha, a kindergarten kid, was an amazingly fast learner who soon tired out her energetic dance mentor – Jyoti! Cheered on by the entire group, the kid truly rocked the party. Only the thought of the kitchen closing, made people break camp and head indoors after 2.5 hrs in the open, dancing (or simply sitting) around the campfire.

An early start the next day to catch up on hours of travel made us bid adieu to TexWood haven around 8.30 after breakfast. Ferried in jeeps to our bus and the spirit of adventure still not dampened, few of us decided to travel on the top of the bus!! Motivated by the driver’s encouragement (Friday night Antakshari effect?), eight of us took to our perch. I admit, I had initially imagined a “Chaiya Chaiya” type travel with music and dance, but I was proved wrong. Critical was the fact that we had to hold on tight all the way and get our heads out of the way of every low branch that greeted us (they expected us back at work on Mon). Managing to slip in a few ‘songs’ and cries for Vaishno Devi Matha (No, we weren’t getting all spiritual), this was really an exhilarating experience. Of course the weird looks we received from passers by and the waving we received from the kids on the roads only served to inflate our sense of accomplishment.

Next stop was Belur. The main attraction in Belur is the Chennakesava temple complex which contains the ChennaKesava Temple (dedicated to Lord Chennakeshava , meaning handsome Vishnu) as the centre piece, surrounded by the Kappe Chennigraya temple built by Shantaladevi, queen of king Vishnuvardana of the Hoysala dynasty. The temple is one of the finest examples of Hoysala architecture. The facade of the temple is filled with intricate sculptures and friezes with no portion left blank. The intricate workmanship includes elephants, lions, horses, episodes from the Indian mythological epics and sensuous dancers (Shilabalikas) flanging the entire outer periphery of the temple. Each of these sculptures depicted the varying innate characters exhibited by women, all modeled on the queen Shantaladevi. Inside the temple are a number of ornate pillars whose engineering brilliance, in addition to the heritage, would surely bring in a humbling effect on the present day architects. No two pillars are the same and the art work truly brilliant.

The sculptures with the intricate carvings keeping in mind the attention for details was mind numbing! It was impossible not to a let a small amount of worthlessness seep in, in the presence of such great art. Maybe, centuries from now, when programming might be declared an art, the lines of code we write would be appreciated for the intricacies of the “for loops” and deft handling of classes. Wishful thinking I suppose. Sigh.

With buses to catch and dinner appointments to be met, time just seemed to be in a hurry to fly and we had to head back to Bangalore. The mood in the bus was solemn and like the hallmark of any memorable time spent, silence characterized the goodbyes. After two back to back movies with a lunch stop, the cab reached back the HTS compound at 7.30 with just about 7 people, the rest dropped off on the way.

This team that has bonded beyond hierarchy, brought closer by shared enthusiasms and now gelling in to work towards the organizational goals, is a statement by itself to the success of Honeywell’s Team building efforts.

The memories gathered elicit a sigh even a month after the trip. I guess this is one hangover no one is in any hurry to come out of.

Dude! Where's my voice?

2007-06-12T04:10:00.000-07:00

Clonk!! Hammer.. Where did my tongue go? shit i was born without a larynx(or was it pharynx?)!!! ok, i seem to have moved my head in the affirmative for something! then why is she still talking?? that name where have i heard before?! oh ya its mine..

This was an imaginative thought process that could possibly explain the state of those guys who claim to be "men of few words", while all the people who know them simply seem to feel gifted are the deaf not to be able to hear these guys! Well i for one, personally know such people and the other extreme too that i might deal with later in the blog. Now these people, if gifted with wit or even a sense of timing, u feel sorry for them. Cos it somehow seems to build a kind of complex that makes them abusive of anyone normal. Let me tell u before hand all this concerns only the species of the uncommitted male.

Now what is that factor that makes them express such tongue tiedness. Some possible explanations i can dish out. Light travels faster than sound and so u never know how stupid one is till they open their mouth(nothing original). Having had to put up with themselves over years, they might have a clear picture as to the crap that emanates. And when it is all about projecting a favorable image (even if only to non-males) the brain might refuse to let the tongue muscles contract or expand. If biological conspiracy isn't what is responsible, then the bollywood and all other woods in India (and abroad) suggest an extreme shy attitude or the craziness they call pyar, mohabbat and what not?!! Well most of these specimens are unabusive.

But what about the abusive ones? I think for this u have to blame charles darwin for his theory of evolution that traces the family tree to apes and animal planet that runs such documentaries on the apes, which us guys tumble upon in the immediate need to change channels.(ahem) When a male ape finds itself inadequate to compete with other male apes, it seems to scream, attack and resort to indulging in all sorts of things like bossing around, throwing fecal matter (thank god the first part didn't sink in too much) and becoming extremely offensive. That’s why i say don't land on animal planet! My sympathies go out to such guys.

Now in the other end of the spectrum lie specimens, who make a fool out of themselves drooling so unaware of the surroundings and then come back to boast of their conquests. Well again, what can be going through their mind, when they could not even manage a hi to the entire gang when with a female, who mostly treats them as jesters? When all they talk about is talk about their ex crushes (or current failed attempts) and ask about class timings or exams and then come back to the gang and say they were simply flirting with a 'chic'? A tough call. For they gain not anything but some encouragement from girls who take sympathy on them and laugh at the stupidest attempts made at jokes that they take a liberty in assuming more of the same is all they want. After all projection seems to be the order of the day.

But guess these people form a minority of the guys. Cos there is a majority of guys, for whom the conquest ain't all and their attempts are projected without exaggeration. i have lost track of all the names they coin, like metrosexual, ubersexual and stuff that don't mean a thing. Guess all that matters is a steady head that understands manliness is much more horizontal than erect and doesn't go open mouthed at any casual or platonic conversation with the other gender. So here's to us guys!

Don't u cry!

2007-04-04T04:10:00.000-07:00

Note: I have not become a father nor have i gone into deep distraught. This is just an imaginative song penned down on demand (the demander would murder me if i reveal!!). Just to add a bit of variety to my blogpage(3 blogs!!!!)

DON'T YOU CRY

Hey dear baby, don’t u cry
I’ll be by your side, till the oceans go dry.
Wish I could know what makes u cry
So I could bring that smile back, I won’t sigh.

If your tummy’s grumble is what makes u wail,
Hold on honey, for just a little while,
The water and milk powder, I’ve mixed with my love
For my princess who I hold all above!
If its your wet bottom that waters your eye,
Worry not darling, for here am i
Waste no tears on dirty nappy
Pappy will do anything to see you happy

Hey dear baby, don’t u cry
I’ll be by your side till the oceans go dry.
Wish I could know what makes u cry
So I could bring that smile back, I won’t sigh.

Or is it ur want for your mommy that makes u weep?
Of all love she promised, she failed to keep.
Please my princess don’t, her, u hate
My love, ur mommy, was a victim of fate
Her peals of laughter still clear in my ear
Her warmth I find not in cold beer or fire
With her gone I thought I’d give,
But, for u my darling I still live

Hey dear baby, don’t u cry
I’ll be by your side, till the oceans go dry.
Wish I could know what makes u cry
So I could bring that smile back, I won’t sigh.

Hey dear baby, don’t u cry..

PS: Will be back on track soon with my next post :) (for whoever is visiting!)

Of Bachelor Gangs and trumped up charges..

2006-11-30T04:50:00.000-08:00

You will probably know a seemingly somnambulistic individual, prowling the corridor at ungodly hours [Even by a hosteller’s standard!] uttering inaudible words. On closer examination u will notice the headphones [With miniaturized gadgets u can’t identify the actual bonkers case!]. Or the guy whose “Haan.. mathlab.. chuckle.. giggle”emanates from behind the doors of the only proper loo when u want to use it! Well I can’t offer my opinion about their counterparts but I can state boldly these people are generally loners. Not that their gangs disowned them but they chose to be so.

I personally know people who have detached themselves from the gang on the arrival of a girl. As one of my friends remarked “What the hell did she do to him!? She’s changed him completely!!”. O course his frustration is justified. A guy who used to shower us with four letter words at the frequency of a klystron oscillator [ECE guys] now wincing every time I utter a rare disgusted profanity.. I mean, HOW CRAZY IS THAT!!!

Having brought on the charges guess the burden of reasoning rests with me. Let me start with a simple explanation.

If u have read Freakanomics u would probably know, the one point the author is trying to drive home is - Man is driven by incentives. So he mostly settles for the side with the butter. I mean a group to hang out with and party is not exactly on par with a more ‘harmonally’ driven relationship [Adrenaline rush remember?] is it? For those who ask why they have to be mutually exclusive, I can tell u if everyone in the group has a girlfriend then probably yes, but then that would be a group of loners.

Snide remarks and knowing glances can be somewhat irritating I guess. Let me take a scenario. I for one believe had Adam and Eve been Chinese we would still be in paradise for they would have gone for the snake and spared the fruit. [Relevancy lost] But imagine if Adam had been offered the fruit in front of his ‘hip’ gang of guys. [clothed of-course] With remarks like “Dude, u are drooling all over” or “Hey Adam, how about the peach Daphne offered” or a mimicry of “have the fruit Adam”, who knows, we might still be in paradise!! So maybe the lost in love fledgling feels more secure in solitude. Atleast his projected image stays unshattered.

If you are on of those [unprintable profanity] guys who ditched your gang [shame on u!] and think this passage supports your actions, well u can jump off from the tallest structure and let gravity finish its job!! This is intended to come to the aid of the poor thing [read GF] who takes the rap for your misdemeanor. And if u are the GF who is appreciating my concern, I have this to say. If u breakup with ur boyfriend cause he doesn’t care for u, u know whom to approach next [contact details in profile :D]

If u just reading this for fun, hope u enjoyed the attempted behavioral explanation and nodded ur head at least once.

The Fox and The Crow (in Technicolor)

2006-11-30T04:37:00.000-08:00

On a hot and humid day, the crow [our Hero!], hungry and tired, was gliding around swearing at the communication engineers for bringing in wireless and optical fibers. He settled on the sill of an engineering college classroom and strained his ocular muscles hoping to satisfy his energy needs. His bird’s eye view [crow- animal kingdom of aves] couldn’t materialize anything to silence his grumbling stomach.

The voice from the classroom [some wise guy lecturing!] was saying line of sight increases with height [los = sqrt(2h)]. The crow, blaming his stature went in search of a new perch and found one over the 6th floor cantilever beam. That happened to be the canteen [Talk of coincidences!!].

The crow phase locked its thought waves with the incoming aroma of hot ‘vada’. His tracking skill was being tested and he rose up to the challenge! Well, with his stomach grumbling, acquisition of the ‘vada’ became his prime task. Craning his neck at impossible angles [which then is possible!!] got sight of his target. Letting out its war cry [or the only one it knows] attacked with split second timing only to find the place deserted. [Come on! Engineering college canteen and empty???] Thanking his stars flew away with his prize onto a tree in the campus.

Meanwhile a fox [Yup, there is a fox!] was roaming mindlessly from the library to laboratory to gobble up some lecturer [whose absence will not be noticed]. And when it caught site of his potential prey, it dawned on him that it was world vegetarianism day! [if u could believe someone was actually listening to a lecturer in class then..] Being a man of his principles [actually fox] the dejected fox decided to call it a day when his angle of elevation brought into frame the crow with his prize.

His cerebral cobwebs got fumigated in a second and using all his technical know how formulated a plan to prove lunch=vada. So, undetected like a signal in spread spectrum, approached the trunk of the greenery that held his lunch.

“Mr.Crow,” bellowed the fox in Agent Smithish tone. “What would u be doing in an intellectual place like this?”

The startled crow replied “ummm mmm!! Mmmm mmmum uumm..” [Vada in mouth]
“How delightful to hear! Now that you are here you might as well help me with a few doubts that have been eating my brain.” Without giving a chance for the crow to respond he continued. “As u are the one who seems to be the most affected, can u suggest a low attenuation low skinloss transmission waveguide that might make wireless obsolete?”

The crow felt like he was being zonked with the stun gun. He just kept staring at this creature who seemed to have materialized out of vacuum!

“Let it pass. With your intelligence and experience of flying over the obnoxious Nox and SOx gases, do you think a separation of these gases based on their magnetic properties feasible? Is this a solution to the Green house effect?”

Still no response but our crow was getting frustrated. After a few more such probing intellectual questions from the cunning fox, the crow lost all its cool.

“You $#%&@^ [college atmosphere guys! I hate this #$%^# editorial censorship!!] Can’t I have my lunch in peac..” [oops! Too late. Gravity took over!]

The victorious predator darted eagerly towards his prey [a stationary one at that] and gobbled it greedily. The crow, who felt like rupturing an artery, watched first in horror and then in delight the changing expression on the fox’s face. The expression of gloat gave way to greed to satisfaction to laugh to oh-oh to I’ve-got-to-use-the-loo!! Yes, the vada had triggered the change of state of matter in the large intestine of the fox.

The Crow took off uncontrollably laughing, learning 2 important lessons
· Never lose your cool to screwed up questions and more
importantly
· Never eat the food from a college mess/canteen!!

Note: The separation of the green house gases based on their paramagnetic properties won the Honeywell innovation award for the year 2005. It was the brainchild of Keerthi, Ashwin, Pratik and Harish of VIT Bio-tech department.